What do you want to do?

Good morning,

As I look over these writings today, yup, I have to own a level of obessive nature here. (shoulder shrug) I came back to another why - provocation of thought. I love, LOVE moments and the people in my life who encourage me to think/ be thoughtful. It seems there is an abundance of non-thinkers, and possibly stupid people in the world. I think that is another reason I stay in the profession I am in. For all the bullshit and bureaucracy that seems to have taken foothold in education and all the butt kissing and CYA'ing versus standing for what is proper and admitting error, there are so many brilliant, good people. I believe that's one of the few reasons it has any sucess and that the proportion of those people is directly corrolated to an institutions success.

Back to thoughtful. I have a very dear friend where I live now ( actually, several, but this one is my mentor, my older sister, my psuedo guru, etc) They are not infallible or perfect, but one of the most thoughtful people I know. Where I may speak while thinking, and even sometimes before thinking, my friend never does. I am tiring at times to them (known by their own admission) as I sometimes process too quickly and move before they have fully processed. They still love me as I do them, even though our pacing is sometimes not overly compatible. We figure it out.

I was speaking to my friend, taking advantage of proximity. We rarely see each other, even when in the same building. Why is it that time seems so hard to come by to spend time with people. This person is a colleague who essentially helped me raise my son and with whom I was a part of their family - still are, but where we used to see each other at least 2 times a week at work and 1 once outside, now I see them maybe 1x a week at work, if that. So, I took advantage of that time and we set an appointment to set another appointment to have a meal or coffee together. How sad that I have to schedule my friends in order for that to happen.

In talking to this person, we spoke of other closely connected colleagues. One has gotten physically hurt recently and is out of work. There is an impression of work avoidance. To explain obtusely, my specialization cannot be taught be everyone, regardless of how common place a subject it is perceived to be. A substitute cannot just pop in an teach this content. One may be able to do that with English or math ( level dependant) but we are more like foreign language - if you don't know it, you cannot teach it. Well, the amount and availability of qualified persons to substitute for this content is low so the planning needs to be higher - or perhaps should be. This injured individual needs to take care of themselves first - there is no contest there. But, shouldn't this indiviudal ask for help or pur someone in the loop to assist or take over their responsibilties? My close friend is navigating whether to engage or pursue that information or to keep distance and just "handle it" for a time. And, the staff back on the farm has to handle the classes this colleague isn't here to teach. That's ok, but additional responsibilty nonetheless.

My mentor friend gives room for variance of processing and engagement styles, and I really love hearing how they think about that. They have a background in psychology and it is so facinating to hear how they process and offer reason and grace to other's behaviors. Again, thoughtful thoughtfulness. Really amazing.

As i work to learn how others think and feel, I really believe I'm figuring out myself as well. As a science project, it's kind of neat to do. As a project to reach completion, it's extremely annoying.

Back to my other evening, someone returned my question of " what do you want for your "x" birthday?" I didn't know. So... I've been thinking about it.

My "x" birthday hits on what appears to be my busy season. It should be a summer scripted trip to Europe ( which I think will be my last under that organization) and as always, the beginning of a school year and all that brings. So, the timing is less that ideal.

BUT, the list of wants I think a worthy indulgence, so here's a glimpse of that list: - adventures ( even today, I'm convincing myself to go to Breck to see some snow sculptures as this is the last weekend that will be possible for me. - trips - Arches, Mt. Princeton hot springs, Ouray, Paris, Salzburg, Germany or even just NYC at Christmas time, London ( need to get my instrument looked at by the manufacturer - would love to see if I could tax deduct that trip. Oh, and the brass band conpetition at Royal Albert Hall) Santa Fe, one more Albuquerque balloon launch, San Fran ( may take sister and might not. She's been before, I haven't), the Maldives ( but I don't believe solo female travel is advised for that one) or whatever adventure I can hook my wagon to - shows - I got frustrated at myself for not having stuff planned so, for Mom's Day this year, I bought tickets to "The Book Of Mormon" in Denver. It isn't New York but, it'll do. And, I couldn't stomach going by myself, so I'm towing my son along on that one. - professional goals - yeah, this one is tougher. There are reasons, but not for this post.

It was a good question and one that I will think on from time to time. I didn't realize I didn't have an answer for myself when I asked the question. But there were other motivations for that inquiry other than fact finding.

As for that special B'day, that's still up for grabs. It'll be on a Wednesday so that itself is a little prohbitive. Perhaps a birthday month or a birthday year thing is better. My sisters friend had a super cool idea of hosting a dinner for all her friends as them just being together was the gift. How cool is that?

So.... I'm not sure yet and not sure I want it to be super contigent on others. But, if I'm to walk the talk, I need to give it some thought. Worst case, there's always "The Thunder from Down Under". It's important to have options ;-)

The fog has lifted so if I'm headed to Breck, better get going....