Faith, hope, and love

" And now these three remain; faith,hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1st Corinthians 4:13 But hope is in the top three. So, I grew up in the church, more or less. At least in my formative years. My dad is a self proclaimed athiest ( though I really believe him to be agnostic) and my mother was of Christian faith. No one in my immediate family is what I would call a "bible thumper" - save my one aunt, so it's not like to family did bible study or that all things were rooted in scripture. This isn't a good or bad thing - just what is/was. I became part of a church community in 6th grade, I believe, tagging along with a friend. I enjoyed the community and the lessons, I enjoyed the youth group scene, so I stayed a part through high school. It's funny now, I had an adopted church family ( with whom I have lost total contact) and my own social group in that church. There is much good to learn in church, but it's sad to me that some of the most perverse and insidious people also reside in church communities. I'm not here today to discuss my religious philosophies or positions, but rather to say the Christian faith has offered some good education for me. I'll leave that here and may return to that sentiment at another time. Today, I want to put some thoughts down about "hope". Someone said ( if I am remembering accurately) that "it is best not to hope. With no expectation, there cannot be dissapointment". WOW!!! This statement rocked me to my core. Honestly. I was immediately heartbroken without actually knowing I was, or knowing why. I couldn't believe someone I know would say that.... or even believe that. I can't remmeber the order of the discussion - if that statement was made and then the defense of a pessimistic position or vice versa. Regardless, I couldn't process this. I can sort of understand glass half full, expecting the worst pessimism, but I cannot understand not having... hope. After this, I began to conceed to some truth in the idea if you don't hope for something you can't be disappointed. I see, feel and recognize that part of truth. But, hope is a driving force, isn't it? Hoping to learn, to have an opportunity, to be better, to offer things and share to the benefit of others, to hope there are honest, intelligent, caring, selfless people in the world, to hope tomorrow will come, to hope to experience all the things, and to hope to have hope fulfulled. To hope ones efforts or labors are enough?? How does one live without hope?? Is it replaced with faith or trust? Or is it filled with something else. Or.... does that space stay empty?? ( my soul hurts to even consider that) But, yes, hope can faciltiate a shattering hurt. I know this. Yet, that just proves to me that I'm not dead - I can still feel and feel greatly. Then, if I can feel hurt that greatly, then can I not feel joy and love just a powerfully?? Feelings don't have preprogramed settings for mimimum or maximum settings. I love and hate that a piece of music or a beautiful prospect can take my breath away or bring me to tears. I love when I watch a romantic movie or have an 'intriquing' interaction, my fingers will tingle in a weird way ( don't feed me any bullshit about a circulation issue - this has happened since my teens and still happens today). I would actually like to know what Aristole would say about faith, hope and love. I'm certain he has some equation of relation and/or balance of quid pro quo, like one cannot have hope unless they have faith in agents that can bring to fruition that hope. Or, maybe love or the concern for things outside of one's self is necessary to have hope for good things and the faith that such investments can result in a favorable outcome. Artistole is such an ass, but what a litigator!! I can't think of things in the "chess play" manner he seems to. Hope = good. Does anyone hope for bad?? Ok, as I wrote that I heard my brain say " I hope they eat crow" " I hope they choke" " I hope they fail" so, I guess that answer is yes, people can hope for bad. Well shit. But.... hope is at least directional? I mean hope is often directed to what may happen, what is to come. You can't hope for things in the past, but maybe how people think of things past. I hope they learned something, I hope they knew how that hurt, I hope they are doing well. To have no hope makes one.... hopeless. There's that soul hurt again. Work in words with me here - I don't believe people are ever "hopeless" but when they don't have hope they are less of hope, right? Something, someone that is hopeless may have no direction, no desire, no vision. Or do those come from somewhere else?? Is that too dramatic?? Am I wrong?? Doesn't that hurt?? I hate that I hurt just of the idea. Then, we can argue the semantics of hope versus expectation. Though these are similiar I do not feel they are exact synomyns. Hope is a hope, a wish, a desire. Expectation is a demand, a contract. Expectation requires understanding. You can't expect someone to do something unless you have told them to, or unless it has been taught in some manner. You cannot expect someone to do something far off of the behavioral norms they have shown. One could hope for it, but it should not be expected. I think you can expect someone to "do their job" provided they actually know what the job is. I have found expectation and assumption can have a correlation that almost always leads to disaster, unless validated. My favorite line in education ( note extreme sarcasm) is " I taught it, so they should know it." Oh really?!?!?! By word alone you impart knowledge? Really? Were they listening to you? Did they understand what you said? Did they practice using that concept in any way or were your words simply enough to impart wisdom and knowledge? Such arrogance. But it's the "well, I did my job" scenario. You didn't see if you did it well, you didn't reflect on it, you didn't test it's success in proximity and then you get butthurt when they students cannot demonstrate knowledge and claim its solely their fault. Ok.... definite soapbox, sorry about that. But expectation should have measure in reality. Hope ( if used wisely) probably should as well, but hope is more open ended... more infinite, more possible without condition. I was/am really distressed by that brief conversation. I hope I'm not being overly dramatic about it. I hope that conversation was just a teaser or a momentary out loud processing and not a terminal state. I hope that individual allows themself the benefit of hope and hasn't been hurt too much to allow that possibility. I hope to know that person is ok.... in all ways one can be or allows the possibilty of being so. I hope....... ( first edit - may need to come back to this one)