Power of music

Ahh, I have just caught the end of Polar Express 2 times tonight. Seems I can't be fortunate enough to find it before 30 before it ends. Good thing we own it.

But the music of that movie.... oh the music. It makes me feel.... yes, it makes me feel. It's a heartache that's not sadness. It tears that come with a smile. It's the want to hold my son and treasure every minute. It's hoping someday that I can watch and lean my head on the shoulder of a man who I love, and who loves me. It's thinking of family and friends. It's that thumping, that heart pain that I think writers associate with love, and I get it from music.

It's a great movie, but the music..... Music reaches me like nothing else. Does everyone have this strong of a reaction to good music? I hope so. I hope if I can do anything in my life, it's share this feeling, this power with all who will have it.

And the music plays on....

What if you just wanted...

It's a sad state when you want to tell someone that you miss them, but you know they couldn't care less.

Why does it seem that proven or potentially bad relationships are so addicting and good ones are either impossible to find or never to your liking?

Too much free time is a bad thing for a lonely heart :-(.

Silly yet needing to be said

I have just watched Pride and Prejudice... the BBC version, for perhaps the 11 or 12th time and once again I realize that I have a Hollywood infatuation with Collin Firth !!!!! I swear, if I were 5 years older and resided in Britain, I would move heaven and earth to meet the man. Meeting him before he was wed, would also have been advantageous. I know he is probably nothing like any of the characters he plays, but, for all the characters in all the movies I have seen him in, I'd take him as any of them.

It must be "wretched" to base your hopes of a man on characters derived and seen in fiction. I feel justified in saying that this desire is far more approvable than that of a man's desiring a pornographic character, but not more realistic, I'm afraid. 

I am thinking that Jane Austin and I might have been the best of friends, for better or worse. Though her use of the English language certainly trumps my own. But for verbosity, it may be a tie :-)

Is such an admission a question on eHarmony??....  If so, I would state that my vision of a person I could see myself in a successful relationship with is a man with the sense and education of Mr.Darcy in Pride and Prejudice, the heart, patience, and acceptance of Mr. Darcy in Bridget Jones' diary, and the countenance and eyes of Collin Firth.

There it is folks. Boy, am I superficial. 

Lucky for me, no one reads blogs anymore ;-)

Funniest thing ever

I so would have posted this on Facebook, but I think my livelihood would be at stake. It made me cry laughing. I'm sure it's not true, but it is really funny!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqtr_RvR3sY

Adventures with Sparklers

On  this 4th of July I reminisce of a time when my mother, father, friend and myself were in my parent's kitchen. And the family dog -a very important element in this story.

So, my father emerges from the basement with a box of sparklers he had found, purchase date estimated to have been circa 1962. Ok maybe they weren't "that" old, but they had to be a good 4-6 years old.

Dad walks over to the kitchen sink and retrieves a match. He is certain that a sparkler from this box won't light, but sometimes, you just have to test a theory. I was standing off to his side and my friend and my mother were sitting at the table in front of him opposite the sink. The dog, black haired labrador, was at his feet looking up appearing to be thinking my dad was a moron, or just annoyed.

Dad held about 2-3 lit matches under the sparker, not facing the sink mind you, but all of us instead, and was about to proclaim his accuracy when..... fpfpf, zzzzzz, the sparkler lit. The dog arose and this was when the action commenced.

So here stands dad, surprised that the ancient sparker actually lit and staring at it, my mother yelling at my father for lighting a sparkler indoors and my friend and I hurriedly patting out the embers of the sparkler which were falling on the startled and bewildered dog. It was hard to pat the dog as my eyes were filling with tears from laughter. Dad never moved. The dog never moved. All the action continued for the minute of sparkler excitement. At the end dad states, "Eh, guess they do still work" and my friend and I were short of breath from laughing. Mom just shook her head in smiling disapproval, knowing that this was her husband, for better or worse, and the dog........ just laid back were he was.

Lesson - don't light sparklers indoors. At least not around flammable pets anyway :-)

For my friend

Humpty Dumpty took a rest and sat on a wall.

Rumor has it he was pushed and then there were eggs for all.

From the spot that he cracked he fed many eaters

Such travesty all because of some egg beaters.

Feeling punchy

I am thinking about going to bed, but instead my mind insists on creating things that greatly amuse me. This has been happening on and off for the past few days. I think of these really great things to write down ( mostly while in the car, mind you) and then, when I come inside, nada.

Let's see, the topics are ( as I remember them) being in love with a mountain ( I was ruminating on how looking at Pikes Peak makes me happy) Commenting on every post I see in Facebook ( this is a great deal of restraint for me not to do so) The ideal banter of a man asking me out ( the more sarcastic, but not mean the better. This one had me sold on the drive from Castle Rock to the Springs. If a guy ever manages to recreate that most awesome scenario, I'm gonna be one happy lady :-) ) Oh and the topper.... after flying Delta this round and having those _awesome_ Biscoff cookies as the snack..... I actually went on line and bought some. OMG!!! How freakin sad is that??? Well, I'll be happy when I get the cookies anyway. ( super big grin as I type)

I bought fans today as my condo is not air conditioned. ( A situation which will take a year or two and a couple thousand dollars to remedy. Eh, it's only water weight.) Anyway, fans are bloody expensive. I purchased four - 3 large and one small - and we aren't even talking the cadillacs of fans now, and the bill was over $100. Target cheap???? Kiss my ass. Should have gone to Wal_Mart. Anyway, at least they are doing the job. The one is oscillating now in front of me as I type. Ah.........

And again, I laugh and I have nothing. It's like being drunk without having drunken anything. High on life I suppose :-)

Summer life lessons

Funny how time flies all the time, but especially when you're on vacation. A week and a day in and it's been purty fun :-)

Things I have learned or reminded myself of:

#1 -  I "love" fire - ref. Jamie and Jessie's house

#2 - Facebook is a trip - ref. a lot of free time

#3 - Barefoot Bernie's is one really nice place to go in Hagerstown

#4 - I get loud(er) when consuming alcohol - uh... I think I won't explain ;-)

#5 - I appreciate those who can withstand and tolerate my loss of verbal filter and volume control when consumption occurs - truly a blessing :-)

#6 - Avoidance in uncomfortable situations is a reaction that disappears in about 10-15 minutes - I am thinking this is a good trait

#7 - People at the Maryland House are assholes

#8 - I - 495 is like Indy 500 for the common man

#9 - Henna smells funny, but looks pretty spiffy.  - :-)

#10 - Kohr's Ice Cream with Chocolate sprinkles is really, _really_  yummy !!! :-)

Let's see what other life lessons await !!!!!

The beach is so close I can taste it

Oh how I want to be here, right now. 

Soon. Very soon.

There is no care, worry, or concern that the beach cannot wash away.

What's going on

This post is an attempt to answer that question. 

I am almost a week out from the end of the school year from hell. Why exactly that is the case is my summer project to figure out. Maybe it was the school turmoil. The fact that the school ended up in the papers in an unfavorable light about once a month. Maybe it's that sports hold value in the American society and the arts sometimes seem like they are simply fighting for survival. I teach a "recreation" where as the cross country coach teaches a life mission. Whatever. Braun vs aesthetics. Here, braun seems dominate. And this is why I should have moved to Europe many moons ago. It's not my fault that people are too stupid to feel emotion or communicate non verbally. Ok, so I have a pretty big soapbox there. I'll rant more at another time. Maybe it was the fact that work ( am jazz, school, lessons, orchestras) got a little insane so that a standard work day was 6am to 11pm. But everybody does that.... right? Maybe it's the fact that the state education budget ( not to mention the federal one) was drastically cut so that the raise percentage for next year averaged about 1.5%. Yea. That gets little C and I to McDonalds at least once more a month.

Hard to believe I actually do like my job. But a few more years like this, and I'll have to start figuring out what else I am good at :-)

In the midst of all that, I am _finally_ in the stages of putting together my condo. It is still firmly in "builder beige" and I'm just not feeling that. So, I must ponder and wonder what color(s) I should paint things and then go out on the limb, commit to the color and start swinging that paint brush. I am both anxious to do this and simultaneously scared to death. I know it can always be repainted, but I think I am allergic to investing time into things which turn out to be a mistake? And then spending more time attempting to fix that mistake. Does that make sense? I know in the end, you learn things and nothing is permanent, but, why waste the time unless your pretty damn sure it's what you want? All this for paint. Hmmmm.

The little guy has been with me straight for the past 3 weeks I think. His dad is in the middle east ( playing for diplomats, not fighting with big guns) and his grandparents headed for NH a while ago. He's a handful but it's been a blast. We saw "UP", which actually was really cool, and have done some other fun stuff. We attempted to get his remote controlled Apache helicopter in flight, but.... well.... that wasn't pretty. I'll wait until my parents are out here again and ask good ole daddy for some manly assistance on that one. His dad comes back in the next couple days and I think that is good. Christian will get some time to spend with him and his girlfriend and her 2 kids ( which Christian hasn't totally decided whether he likes or not). It's hard to explain to Christian the differences between his father and me. It's hard to explain why... let's just leave that there, but I try and I think he gets some of it. And the stuff I don't get, well, I just tell him I don't get it either :-)

This week we are preparing for our grand escapade back to MD. Last year I dreaded this trip, but this year, I'm actually looking forward to it. I have a few things I want to do. Little things - take a picture of my high school, walk around my folks neighborhood, take Christian to the park down the street, catch up with the friends that I seem to have missed every other stinking visit back. I might even venture back to VA to the University where I started college. Just a snapshot of things past. Then to the beach. Ahhh, the beach. I need to dial up the energy so I can wake up for at least one sunrise, get my am bike ride or walk in  before short stuff wakes up and the activities really take off. And maybe we'll go to Barnegate lighthouse again. I went there many times as a kids with my grandparents. Let's see if I can still climb that one :-) Oh, how I hope the weather is ok ( mostly for Christian's sake). I'd be ok with a book, rain, and the sound of the ocean, but for a 9 year old, that's major suckage. It's also be great if the water temp was above body numbing temps as well.

What else? Not much. Our tadpole "Willy" passed away. We had a farewell ceremony and then flushed him. And so of course we get two more. Can't leave the hotel "Atlantis" empty for long. Darn these elementary teachers and their maturation/ growth lessons. The 3 gerbils are still kicking and for the time being we are the keepers of Ken's 2 guinea pigs. I am highly allergic to these creatures, but with a face mask, all is well. I'll be sad, yet happy to see them go.

So that's what's been happening here. I guess it's time to retire for the night. 

This was an informative entry. I'll go for funny next time :-)

A good day

Today was a good day... after a long night. Kiddo and I got up early and he does his thing and I do mine. As I am finishing in the bathroom, he knocks on the door and tells me his is finished his business. I say "That's good". He then asks, " So, what would you like for breakfast?"

Too cute.

Then later today he takes my horn case to the car without being asked... actually without me even having the intention for him to take it. He just saw it and took it. He's going to make some young lady very happy one day. He already made a mommy very happy.

Then, my friend Susan, funniest woman I know, tells this story. 

This young man and woman were engaged to each other and going through that pre marriage counselling through their church. The pastor told them that they were more than welcome to be married in that church as long as they stayed "pure" through their engagement. The went for weeks and weeks keeping true to that promise that they would stay untouched until their wedding day. 2 weeks before the wedding, they went to their pastor and told him they had fallen. He said "We were showing so much restraint. And then this one day, I saw her reach for a light bulb, and my lustful nature overwhelmed me and I took her then and there." The pastor shakes his head and says, "I am so sorry. But you realize that you are no longer welcome to married in this house of God" The man says, "That's alright. We aren't welcome at The Home Depot anymore either"

I do live in Colorado Springs remember. Tame crowd here :-)

Ho hum

I am simply writing because I am at a loss of other things to do. Sleep would be the wisest course of action, but have you ever felt sleepy yet not wanted to sleep? Well this is where I am currently. I know there are things I could be doing but none of them seeming important enough to actually do them. Instead I play computer card games that seem to make my computer awfully slow and make the spinning wheel of color and frustration appear. Grrrrr.

What is going on? Life as it has days before and as it most likely will days following. We are reaching the end of the school year and it can't come fast enough for me. This year had been full of educational woes that seem to have a doppler effect that continues forever. And then, last week, a fellow teacher and acquaintance of mine had just been arrested for child porn. Great. :-( I really like/ liked the person too, so I don't really know what to think about all that. I hope that it is all a mistake or that they were set up, but I also see that such a thing is probably not the reality of the situation. Just goes to show, sometimes you can't believe the media and sometimes you learn how much you DON'T know about someone.

That, and one of the students who graduated "last year" is engaged. Engaged!! Ok, I see that my view of the matrimonial state may be a little skewed at this very moment in time, but, not even a year out of high school and off to the alter? Really? How much life can you have under your belt? I can't imagine going through my undergrad, not even in my twenties, and being married? Uh, no. Is this just the cynic in me? Thinking it can't work? Thinking who they have/haven't met? Thinking, how well can someone know themself at 19? This just seems so foreign to me and in turn, maybe unwise? Who knows? I wish them well, and if they make it for the long haul, maybe there's a lesson to be learned, but damn if I know what it is now.

Other than that, probably not a whole lot to say. At the moment, I am living the life of a psuedo-slacker. It's not overly rewarding, so I'll be happy when the momentum changes at the end of the year.

One more personal performance to go and 3 more school ones. Eh, could be worse I guess. It's hard to motivate others when your simply trying to motivate yourself. Ever been there?

Ok. 11pm here with a 5:30 wake up right around the corner. :-( Funny, I'm not too worried about the struggle to fall asleep, rather the one that's to be fought at the sound of the bell.... or buzz as the case may be.

Oh, well. Off to round one.

Dumpster Diving

Busy week this week, but this event today topped the cake. My son has a cell phone now ( yes, my 9 year old has a cell phone... we can discuss that later) Yesterday, I asked kiddo where his phone was. He said that I had it last ( the worst thing a kid can say when something is missing). A friend from the east coast was out and staying here for the past couple days. On our way to the airport, I brainstormed in the car as to where the phone might be. She said that she had last seen in on the kitchen counter. Uh-oh. I remembered a couple days ago working in the kitchen and hearing a "thunk" into the garbage can. I looked quickly and didn't see anything of note. So I dismissed it as a can that I probably knocked in. So, now, I thought differently. When we got back home from the airport off to the dumpster we went. Here 2 good things happened a) the dumpster wasn't that full and b) there were 2 teenage boys nearby. When they saw what we were doing they offered to help. I LOVE stupid teenagers!!!! They were actually very helpful. We found our 2 trash bags and in one, lo and behold, was kiddo's phone. Thank goodness.

So this was how we spend part of our Sunday. I know your jealous !!!

Back from NY

Returned from NYC. I feel like I have so much say about this visit, but can't for some reason.  I really do love the city, but wonder how much I'd love it if I did actually live there. That was probably a woulda, coulda, shoulda for my early twenties. Now, as a thirty something with a child... maybe not. Let's see what 40 holds :-)

I have some great pics that I'll share, once I relocate my camera :-)

We visited Central Park one VERY COLD morning, but it was still gorgeous. Toward the end of our walk I saw a female wearing the most brilliant and large diamond I have ever seen and another women walking 3 King Charles Spaniels ( the dog I will own someday).

Carnegie Hall was fabulous as was the performance. We also got a tour of Radio City Music Hall and got to stand on the stage. I never knew how vast or extravagant that building was. What a marvel !!!

Lion King was very good... even though I fell asleep in the first half. A five dollar dixie cup sized coffee helped me stay awake through act 2.

Lastly, I got my authentic "Boreberry" bag. ( can't afford a real Burberry) and wanted a scarf too, but we didn't make it to Battery Park where the "real" bargaining takes place :-). Also heard Chinatown was good for that, but we didn't make it down that far.

Thinking of trying to get there again late November to see the Christmas Show Spectacular and take Bev and Little C to see Wicked. I think Christian is now old enough for a little sample of the Big Apple. We'll see how that all plays out.

Last note - everyone should be on Facebook. It is the best way to see what people are up to, and that they are breathing in just a few minutes. You may choose to be on that "thing" for many hours, but a few minutes allows you to check in on your peeps :-). So if you aren't on it, get on it !!!

Catch up more later.

In NYC

In NYC with some kiddos and parents from school. I so love it here. Visted M&M, Hershey's store, got a pretzel from a street vendor and a Starbucks ( of course). Tomorrow, backstage of Wicked, West Side Story and the Orpheus Chamber Orchestra.

Will tell more later. Too tired to be coherent :-)

Update - craziness here in CO

I love you all but I am typing this as a way to pass the time while cookies bake :-) Don't be offended, but don't be surprised if I stop abruptly either.

Crazy times. The school where I work is being attacked right and left. From racism to threats to sexual harassment... the list goes on and on. For safety sake I won't go into a whole lot more until hopefully one or more of these issues are resolved, but I will say don't get too excited. What people are screaming and up in arms about here happened daily at our local high schools. This is just a situation where extremists who have an ax to grind are spinning hard to do just that. Currently, what is "right" and what is "easy" are on polar opposites of the spectrum.

As for my world, the honor band phenomenon is passed. What a great run though. Good music, met great people, a wonderful time altogether. Exhausting, but great.

Here's the story that I will share and I hope you can get a chuckle out of teenage kids being stupid teenage kids.

This past Monday I took one of the bands to a regional competition where I fully expected them to perform well. This was a regional qualifying festival and if they performed well, we could have been offered a bid to state festival. Ok, so we spend the early afternoon on a state school campus getting lunch before all the activities begun. During this time, a few male students frequented the restroom. At many colleges prophylactics are sold in the restrooms. This one was no exception. These kiddos decided to try it thinking that it was a gag ( protected kids) When they got it, they then had to figure out what they should do with it. After microseconds of thought, they decided it would be humorous to elongate it and put it into one of their female friend's case. They would be around her when she opened it have a good laugh and move on with their day. Sadly, we did not stay in the location that the disclosure would have taken place. We moved to a different location. One where they were not all that close together. In transit, the item shifted ONTO her instrument. And, as it was a lubricated variety ( classy school) it congealed, giving it the appearance that it had been used.

This all manifested itself in the warm up room. The girl opened her case and was promptly shocked and nearly vomited and swore that she was not going to play her instrument that day ( and hasn't for a few). A freshman, thinking he was being helpful, brought the case up to me, IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE ENSEMBLE, HOLDING UP THE ITEM, and shows me what the girl found in the case. I turned around, gave the mess to the assistant band director. My assistant then aids the girl, wipes off her instrument IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE ENSEMBLE, while we warm-up. We then walk from the warm up room to the performance area. During this time, the kids were talking to one another and the situation spread around the band faster than the Hayman fire. 

End result..... our performance was pretty freakin' rough.

I thought condoms were supposed to keep you out of trouble???

Anyway, we have since handled the situation to the credit of good but stupid kids and gracious parents.

The glories of education.

Cookies done. Gotta run :-)

Week's news

Oh boy, what a week!!!

First of all, my school finds itself in yet another legal issue. This time regarding racism. A long story that I won't get into right now ( if ever) but yet evidence of what you get when you get over sheltered students together in one environment. Combining kindness and restraint with ignorance, selfishness, and plain cruelty results in bad things. Someone needs to teach our nice kids how to employ a good right hook once in a while - and that it can be worth it. The girl offended is one of the nicest most wonderful people I have ever met, and if I knew who the kid/kids were that said crap to her, i'd find them at the mall or behind some building and slug 'em myself.

Second on the event list was the trip to Alamosa. Pretty country, but so far, the armpit of Colorado as for culture. This is definitely a struggling area economically. the cool part was the townsfolk were really nice, but it felt kinda like being back in Falling Waters, WV. No cell service -this was a pisser as I was trying to coordinate my son's b'day party. No internet at the hotel. Beds as hard as rocks with a heater that was louder than a big-rig. Got some cool pics of Alamosa. I'll post them later.... hopefully.

The honor band itself was a little disorganized. Auditions in free for all style. Kids texting while in rehearsal ( that is a no-no) Even the guest conductor had to reprimand the band a few times ( That's really LQ) But a neat experience nonetheless. I really liked this conductor. Very musical and intuitive. This weekend to Greeley again for All-State.

In fact this week looks like Thurs Springs to Greeley to Pueblo to Springs - i.e. 6 hrs. Friday - Greeley to Pueblo to Greeley - i.e 8 hrs Saturday Greeley to Pueblo to the Springs - 4 hrs. I'm seriously considering taking Monday off. Glad I bought out my lease, 'cause this milage ain't going to be pretty.

Thank goodness for Starbucks !!!!!

Rolling on.......

Week in review and my loves

My son, Facebook, Mucinex, and Hilton hotels. Who could ask for anything more???

This weekend, I have traveled from Pueblo to Fort Collins back to the springs. Go milage. Good times. Met a musical genius. One of those super cerebral types from one of those Ivy Schools :). My ex-'s former band director in fact. Very smart, very talented... and what an ego to match. Eh, to each their own. Also learned a bit about double reeds and saw a really cool way to use a camera via computer to projector as a teaching tool. I want one :-)

Tired, but still trucking.

Next weekend, to Alamosa to meet another one. Anxious to see what the review will be.

In the meantime, about to teach a few lessons then use said money to watch "Mall Cop". Can't wait :-)

Sarcasm- the missing love language

Service, gift giving, quality time, touch, one and can't remember and the missing one...... sarcasm. How did they ever miss that?? The folks who wrote that book played with one too many Care Bears and received one too few Hallmark "Maxine" cards.

My rule: if I choose not to be sarcastic to someone, I must hate them. If I think I can't, I won't like them anyway.

I'm just saying.......

Geek Speak

It's almost as funny as band nerd jokes.

From a student's Facebook page:

Tux speaking "Failure isn't an option. However it does come pre-bundled with Windows." I laughed at that one :-)

Internet: where men are women, women are men, and children are FBI agents

When life is crashing down on you, check for missing semi-colons.

Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

People say that if you play Microsoft CD’s backwards, you hear satanic things, but that’s nothing, because if you play them forwards, they install Windows.

The ultimate metric that I would like to propose for user friendliness is quite simple: if this system was a person, how long would it take before you punched it in the nose?

Always program as if the person who will be maintaining your program is a violent psychopath that knows where you live.

Artificial Intelligence: The art of making real computers act like the ones in movies.

A computer program will always do what you tell it to, and seldom what you want it to.

I had a fortune cookie the other day and it said: 'Outlook not so good'. I said: 'Sure, but Microsoft ships it anyway'.

It is easier to change the specification to fit the program than vice versa.

If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime.

Real men don't use backups, they post their stuff on a public ftp server and let the rest of the world make copies.

Ah.... so clever.

I wish... I wish

I wish for... at least a two hour delay. Come on two hour delay !!!! Or even, snow day. Come on, come on, come on. Big money, no whammies !!!!

:-)

Prayer for Bobby

As I flip from channel to channel I came upon this movie. I got stuck. It's more poignant than I can describe.

The thought that comes to my mind, as I watch children in the conservative school I teach in, is it's so important to thoughtfully accept people - not necessarily their actions. It is not wrong to question a person about who they are, if for clarity. It is not alright to judge. It is also not wrong for the person asking to like or dislike their answers to the questions. It is wrong for them to judge them and disclose judgement, especially when that judgement is critical or accusatory for the answers or life choices shared.

Even God never gave the power for man to judge man - meaning their worthiness or sacredness of being human. According to scripture, that one solely belongs to him. Yet man all too often entitles himself as accurate judge of man. And it all starts in elementary school - cool vs uncool, proper vs improper, acceptable vs unacceptable, greater vs less.

Why do people persecute the harmless and fear the harmful? This is one of the ugly truths seen all too often in schools.

When I can, I am anxious to see the entire movie.

And I'll remember to ask when I think someone is not worthy of patience, effort, or understanding, "Who the hell are you to call them unworthy? Who said you were?"

Difference is not a problem to be fixed, merely a description to be recognized and understood.

Back to daily life

Ah, back to the world I know best... wake up ( or try to) at 5:45-6:00am work from 7:30-5:00pm, go home to attempt dinner and homework assistance or some other rehearsal or work related thing from 5:30-7pm or to 10pm. Find time for cleaning my home, and sleep.

Today - that's Saturday mind you; honor band from 9-3, errands from 3:20-4:30 lesson 5-6 and honor band concert from 7-9:30 then socialize with other large masses of adult band nerds from 9:45-11pm.

One of the clinicians was talking to one of his graduates saying " One of the great things in our profession is that you meet many people with similiar lives and interests" Very true. Band nerds adhere to one another like magnets to refrigerators.

That same clinician noted "The secret of a true musician..... having no life but music" Boy, I hope that's not true..... yet I fear it's all too so. Hmmm, maybe I need to find another hobby.... that I don't have time for ;-)

Yet with all of this, no time for wallowing or deep thought. Survival of the fittest, back in action.

Newly favored band piece - "Sleep" by Eric Whitacre. 

Marley and Me

Could say so much more, but let's leave it at...... very good movie. Two paws up :-)

Pride and Prejudice

I LOVE this movie !!!! Not the one with Kiera Knightly mind you, the older BBC version with Colin Firth ( another personal favorite).

If not inclined to watch based upon my fervor, watch as a cultural expression or just because you might have many hours to kill and in some part enjoy that period of time. It is one of those that give you tingles in your fingers it's so good.

A persons character is crucial in developing relationship and this movie does a great job of exploring that via a compelling story.

Character.... now there's another topic. It would be interesting to see what people thought of others character, but I suppose the only ways to know that are truthful disclosure and, heaven forbid, gossip.

Ok, back to the movie. (That's for me, not you :-))

BTW - I am writing this from my condo now furnished with Internet. Praise techies !!!!!! 

And it keeps going and going

Let me preface this by thanking all those places with Wi-Fi. Thank you for feeding the addiction....

As the diarrhea of thought pours out and onto this blog, I get a chance to read and hear what others may hear from me. Hmmmmm…. Interesting.

Ok, so the last entry. I can clearly understand how in a discussion someone may think that I am bitter. I swear I am not. Trying to figure something out, yes perhaps, but not bitter. The element that was missing from the entry was simple, yet obviously easily overlooked – tact. I am a firm believer that not only what you say but the manner in which you say it means a lot. I’ll digress to that specific soapbox latter.

But back to the whole “truth” idea. I think it is beneficial philosophy, although at the moment, yes, also a little self serving. Good truth is always easy to speak – I love this coffee, your house is beautiful, you look great, etc. There’s no harm in saying such things and sharing good news many times can feel good to the deliverer as well as the delivereree.

In areas of conflict or dissent, this isn’t the case, is it? It can be hard to say “You aren’t performing at the expected level” or “You don’t smell so good” or “ I don’t like you”. For some people, such talk comes far too easy, as if they don’t care at all how the receiving party may react. Granted, this may not always be a bad thing, but can’t be good for any relational dealing at the beginning. Only people who are aware of someone having such a trait and then being accepting of it can be in such a person’s close circles, I guess, but even they, I have to suspect, run the risk of getting hurt by such an inconsiderate brandishing tongue.

But, I think relationally speaking ,the truth is vital. From, “No, I don’t really like that restaurant very much but I’ll join you “ to “ I just don’t think things are working out anymore”. Both begin to prevent someone misconstruing the situation although both may also require further explanation to satisfy the other party…. or it may not. For me, more detail is required. ;-) “I don’t like that restaurant because the chicken is often overdone and the food is terribly overpriced” or “ I saw a waitress spit into someone’s drink and have been pretty turned off ever since” or “ I had stomach issues after my last visit there”. None of these explanations may change the other parties mind, but at least then they know that there is a reason for the statement, and that makes the statement easier to understand and even accept.

For the other statement, things like, “ We’ve been arguing a great deal lately and I’m beginning to feel uncomfortable getting together” or “ I don’t feel we share enough common interests to make this work” or “ I have had some great times with you, but I don’t feel that special something that would make me want to work at this relationship for the long haul.” or “ I don’t feel intimately attracted to you” - these may do the trick.

Of course any one of those reasons may hurt the other person, but so could them not knowing. I can’t imagine being intimate with someone who was thinking “ I don’t feel intimately attracted to you” once, more or less several times, just because the person couldn’t say it. And if it did happen once and then someone fessed up... well chalk it up to a "learning experience" and hope it was good. Besides, if someone really feels that way, there’s the strong likelihood the experience itself would be fairly miserable for the other person as well.

The more negative the news, the more difficult it can be to share, especially if care any iota about the person. But to me, "that" is the news that can help answer the deadly, perpetual question, “Why?”

I don’t know if guys brood over this question like girls do, but girls do. “Why did he break up with me?” “Why does he like her?” “Why didn’t he call?” “Why did he say that?” Why didn’t he say this?” “Why doesn’t he like me?”

The girl most likely would not like the answer to many of these questions, or the answer could be quite innocuous, but the girl is asking. If negative, truth may bring unsettled or unpleasant feelings, but the question was answered. It’s not knowing that can drive people insane and it’s not knowing that drives people to educate themselves. In relationships, that can develop into tenuous situations.

What are people entitled to know and what aren’t they? I have no idea. Ok, that’s not entirely honest. I’m not going to tell a stranger that my personal relationship is moving to quickly and I’m not sure what to do, but I may tell a trusted co-worker. I also realize that’s just me. I think the depth or potential value of a relationship can be partly determined by either parties ability and willingness to share information with one another.

Sterile information holds no risk. “Weather is great. Today is Monday. Toshiba is a good brand.” But, “I’m getting a divorce”, or “I’m thinking of quitting my job," or "Things aren’t so great financially” these are a little more personal. More risk is involved. And then when you get to “He’s cheating on me”, “ I feel ________ “, “ I need ________” these are very personal and a high risk. These statements imply trust. I guess sometimes the outspoken may give this trust to an unwilling participant??

From the feminine perspective, to trust a person with non personal facts, aka small talk is inconsequential. To trust one with feelings and thereby part of themselves, this is crucial and necessary, but also scary. I don’t know whether guys thinks of feelings this way, but let me guarantee that it is so. For a recipient of such sentiment and to handle it in obtuse, obscure ways is the like for a person to key to a precious automobile or to take a 5 year developed program and change every third word of code to “butt” and delete the last years efforts, just for the hell of it. It's just as detrimental as being cruel, if not more so.... it's just the passive way of doing it. ( and I sadly know that I have done that myself) 

That, the value of sentiment, may be one of the differences between men and women, but the understanding has to be there, or at least a valiant attempt at it. This is what I feel is meant when they say “One should treasure the other”. And ladies, we must learn to appreciate the man's space and tools too :-) The "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" book does a nice job of discussing this.

Ok, as expected, I have left one topic and am not quite sure in what direction this next rambling is headed, so I will stop. Why? Because I feel I have belabored this topic enough today and, when I am ready to think on it again, want to at least have some feeling of purpose and direction of the topic……. Even if it all could just be kaka. ☺