Well, once again the restful holiday break is a misnomer. That isn't stated to imply that it is bad, just not necessarily restful.
Christmas Eve was negotiated to be spent here at the house, since it is most likely the last time that Christian will wake up in a house with both his mom and dad present. That is a little sad, huh? Well, we were up in Castle Rock spending time with my parents and sister when snow began to fall...again. Not a terrible fall, but enough to make the roads a little slippery for night driving. We ended up staying in CR. Since no one in my immediate family had finished wrapping presents ( good to know where my procrastination tendencies originate), everyone over 7 was up until at least midnight wrapping gifts. Mom and Dad were quite tired since they had just arrived in CO earlier that day.
Christmas morning came and everyone watched as Christian opened his gizillion gifts. If you've ever seen "The Christmas Story", the present opening scene was relieved in my sister's living room. Once the loot had been revealed, it was time to prepare to go to Christian's "other" grandparent's for a traditional Italian Christmas meal ( which means like 12 courses of food in a 5-6 hour window... slightly exaggerated)
What could have been a highly awkward time turned out to be fairly enjoyable. By the time the gathering was at full swing there were about 12 folks present. Again, Christian received far too many presents for a child hoping to be well adjusted. We ate, and ate and , ate. My parents occassionally snuck out of the "in-laws" house as big gatherings aren't there speed. That and they needed their nicotine fix. But there were no terrible awkward moments of silence or sideways glances. Just a bunch of people with sorted pasts and presents in a house eating together. Could have been much worse.
That day was followed by taking the folks out to sight see. Being a late rising crew by nature, we actually didn't get out to do anything until about 2:30. Then the activities roared with excitement as we stopped at Kohl's for a Pyrex set that was on sale that I needed to get, a pass through Michael's ( Dad's idea) and a gourmet meal at Subway.... with Starbuck's coffee. It's nice to have my parents here. Other's might simply think us strange.... or cheap:-). In all honesty though, I was hoping to eat at a restaurant, but Mom was hungry for a veggie sub. That, and once the idea Subway was uttered, Christian couldn't be persuaded from a ham sandwich.... unless someone had mentioned pizza. It was a good choice.
After all that, we headed to the zoo to see the lighted spectacular thing that they do there every year. I have heard of it, but never been. Although rather cold, it was a fun time. The greater part of the zoo is done up with lights and some of the animals were able to be seen. We even got to feed the giraffes. If you ever want to witness the art of tongue motion, check out a giraffe. But be warned, they have a minor saliva issue. I know there's a great perverted joke waiting to be told.... unfortuately I'm not thinking of it correctly. Something to the affect of dating and french kissing, but perhaps I should just leave it alone.
Wednesday, I picked up my folks so that they could go to little "C's" swim lesson. Ryan, if you read this, I read your present, or at least part of it during this time. Eh, it's ok. I'll get around to mailing it sometime before 2010. We then headed to the grocery store to prepared for the next deluge of snow. Note: when you have the option, "do not" do large shopping orders with your parents....... or at least your mothers. I love my mom, but she can drive me bonkers. Her attention span can get so fragmented it's like a person with short term memory loss. A conversation can go like, " Do you need milk?" "No" "Sure?" "Yes" "Look, paper towels are on sale" "Neat" "I need some bacon" "Do you want me to get it for you?" "Sure, and I'll pick up your milk" "I don't need any milk""Ok, well did you finish your laundry?" Ugh !!!!! My future is bleak if daughters truly become their mothers. Maybe it's just the price of over multi-tasking?
Then comes today. More freaking snow. I think the latest tally is 20+ inches. Great. So I drive into my neighborhood as the snowfall commences and slide right past my street. Wheee!!! I got home and then decide I should try to get a shovel before I can no longer get out of the neighborhood. I get to Home Depot to be told every darn Home Depot around here sold out of shovels by 5pm yesterday. Bastards !!! So I ended up buying some of that de-icer for driveways and sidewalks stuff. We'll see how it works.
I decided not to wait until the driveway is recoated with almost 2 feet of snow before I shovel, so I attacked it every 2-3 hours until about 9pm. My mom called and asked why my husband wasn't doing that. Some explanations aren't worth dwelling on, so I just said he had some important things to do..... like watch TV. Besides, it was my idea anyway. I just want to be able to get out of the driveway sometime this weekend. With him, he'll do it when the snow stops, get 1/2 way down and say he'll do the rest later ( which may or may not happen within a 2 day window). They way I see it, hopefully I saved myself a little work, although with the wind, it may have been in vain.
Right now, I 'm not dreaming of a white Christmas. A white sanded beach maybe, but nothing snow.... unless there's a log cabin, fire place, and maybe a hot tub involved. If that's the case, I 'll renegotiate.
This entry's a little random, but I'm going to blame that on the lateness of the hour and heredity :-)
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Friday, December 22, 2006
What gives
Let me preface by saying I am so grateful for the generosity of others.
So here we sit in the house still slightly barricaded by about 2.5 feet of snow extending from the base of the driveway out past the middle of the street, not to mention the 5 foot walls that I created on either side of the driveway from shoveling.
Father in law offers to come and help shovel. I gratefully accept knowing that the snow will be heavier today after the sunshine.
Co worker who lives in town offers to help hearing that Ken is out of town. He says there was no snow downtown and the highway is pretty freaking clear. Ok, so here we have downtown barely touched by the snow and drivable main roads, yet I live on the road that you either need a bobcat or a Hummer to travel. Ok, that's slightly exaggerated but all the same. I can't get anywhere by my own means.
Christian's grandad and great-grandad help shovel out the remaining part of the driveway so that perhaps Saturday I might be able to emerge from my neighborhood using my own vehicle. Grandad also volunteered to take us to the grocery store so that we might get out of the house for a bit. Boy, that was exciting!!! And I'm not joking.
Upon re-entering the development, we saw 2 snow plows go by. Oh my, we might actually get plowed out. Yeah - no. The plows are only used on the larger development roads that surround us. None of the interior ones got touched. Guess our
taxes don't cover such perks. Not even a drop of sand has touched our street. Those SOB's !!!!!
But, on the cheerier side, we saw people, got help shoveling, and also now have syrup for pancakes. Perhaps I 'll make them tonight. I only pray that I can get out of here for a small trip to the mall and/or Wal-Mart tomorrow..... or Santa might be looking pretty cheap this year ;-).
So here we sit in the house still slightly barricaded by about 2.5 feet of snow extending from the base of the driveway out past the middle of the street, not to mention the 5 foot walls that I created on either side of the driveway from shoveling.
Father in law offers to come and help shovel. I gratefully accept knowing that the snow will be heavier today after the sunshine.
Co worker who lives in town offers to help hearing that Ken is out of town. He says there was no snow downtown and the highway is pretty freaking clear. Ok, so here we have downtown barely touched by the snow and drivable main roads, yet I live on the road that you either need a bobcat or a Hummer to travel. Ok, that's slightly exaggerated but all the same. I can't get anywhere by my own means.
Christian's grandad and great-grandad help shovel out the remaining part of the driveway so that perhaps Saturday I might be able to emerge from my neighborhood using my own vehicle. Grandad also volunteered to take us to the grocery store so that we might get out of the house for a bit. Boy, that was exciting!!! And I'm not joking.
Upon re-entering the development, we saw 2 snow plows go by. Oh my, we might actually get plowed out. Yeah - no. The plows are only used on the larger development roads that surround us. None of the interior ones got touched. Guess our
taxes don't cover such perks. Not even a drop of sand has touched our street. Those SOB's !!!!!
But, on the cheerier side, we saw people, got help shoveling, and also now have syrup for pancakes. Perhaps I 'll make them tonight. I only pray that I can get out of here for a small trip to the mall and/or Wal-Mart tomorrow..... or Santa might be looking pretty cheap this year ;-).
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Let it snow...
Here in Colorado we have been bombarded with snow. Even living here, I don't know what the total snowfall level was, but I know that there was... and is at least 3 feet of snow from the garage door to and into the road. Traffic here has been minimal at best. Although, watching the handfuls of 4 wheel drive Jeeps and 4 wheelers go by, I'm really wishing I had purchased the 4x4 version of my car. Note to self - when purchasing your next home either find one with a homeowners association OR save a couple dollars and purchase a snow blower. If this happens again next year, I may go ahead and turn in my leased car and go for the 4x4 variety.
My son and I spent a little over 2 hours outside attempting to clear the driveway. Well, I shoveled and he made his valiant efforts between throwing snow and jumping into the 3+ foot snow drifts. The other male of the house is currently in Chicago. What a bum.
Due to this weather excitement, my parents, who were scheduled to arrive here yesterday, are forced to remain on the east coast until the morning of the 24th. It took many various phone calls of patience, understanding, persuasion and manipulation to accomplish the feats of getting them to maintain their will to come out and to get the airlines to make the necessary changes to allow them to. All in all, what needed to get done got done and the plans that once stood have all been rearranged. Joy. But I am thinking it was worth the aggravation as it will probably be the best present my son and possibly my parents could get (delays withstanding)
Since there really isn't a great deal to do here in the house and no chance of going out anywhere else, Christian and I are forced to find various means of entertainment. Christian has discovered the Disney and Orbitz website games and has been enjoying them greatly. For a six year old, I am amazed at how eptly he navigates a computer. Yeah, he whines when something doesn't work, but say refresh and he knows where to go. He knows how to type in an address in the top line and of course he can use Google to find a website he doesn't know the address for. My own little computer geek. The irony of that is choking.(But I guess Ken has an inclination in that direction as he majored in comp sci for a few years in college.) I practically have to ration his time or pull him off the computer. I guess coloring a coloring book or a board game doesn't always compete. Guess I better figure out how to use these PS3 or XBox thingys just to maintain the ability to relate.
I have been cleaning and packing odds and ends for my inevitable relocation. I'm actually getting pretty excited about all that. I've also been forced to cook. Eh, it's not so bad. Besides, I can make a mean fish stick meal with mac and cheese and peas. Delectable. The beef tenderloin will have to wait.
Breakfast is my preference, but we are out of syrup. Pisser. No pancakes or French toast until I can get to the store. Christian enjoys raisin toast and bacon so all is not lost. Can sometimes sneak in some eggs. Besides, when all else fails, there is always the boxed miracle known as cereal.
We have also taken to watching a Christmas movie every night. We have seen "A Christmas Story" at least 3 times. A personal favorite of my own, it's pretty cool that my son likes it too. I too ingested a good amount of soap as a child. We have also seen "A Charlie Brown Christmas", " A Muppet Christmas Movie" and " Santa Claus". It's actually been kind of fun. I think I may make it a tradition starting the week Christmas break starts. And we'll have hot chocolate and cookies or some sort of snack with the movies. I hope Christian could withstand such an activity for a few years before it becomes totally "lame".
Tonight, we are watching the movie with the house lit by candlelight. I personally adore candlelight. Can't explain it totally, it just feels warm and peaceful with candlelight. Romantic stuffs aside, even Christmas decorations look better with candlelight and not to mention the house smells pretty great.... the candles being Yankee Candles :-).
So, even though we are essentially trapped by the elements, it's not so terrible. I am sorry all the complications it has caused for my family and friends, not to mention countless others. My preference would have been that it could have happened during the school year, but at least it might be a white Christmas. Besides, in my case, sometimes things need to keep you home so that you can actually enjoy home... and a six year old who likes fart jokes. The six year old's ok. The fart jokes wear a little thin though. ;-)
My son and I spent a little over 2 hours outside attempting to clear the driveway. Well, I shoveled and he made his valiant efforts between throwing snow and jumping into the 3+ foot snow drifts. The other male of the house is currently in Chicago. What a bum.
Due to this weather excitement, my parents, who were scheduled to arrive here yesterday, are forced to remain on the east coast until the morning of the 24th. It took many various phone calls of patience, understanding, persuasion and manipulation to accomplish the feats of getting them to maintain their will to come out and to get the airlines to make the necessary changes to allow them to. All in all, what needed to get done got done and the plans that once stood have all been rearranged. Joy. But I am thinking it was worth the aggravation as it will probably be the best present my son and possibly my parents could get (delays withstanding)
Since there really isn't a great deal to do here in the house and no chance of going out anywhere else, Christian and I are forced to find various means of entertainment. Christian has discovered the Disney and Orbitz website games and has been enjoying them greatly. For a six year old, I am amazed at how eptly he navigates a computer. Yeah, he whines when something doesn't work, but say refresh and he knows where to go. He knows how to type in an address in the top line and of course he can use Google to find a website he doesn't know the address for. My own little computer geek. The irony of that is choking.(But I guess Ken has an inclination in that direction as he majored in comp sci for a few years in college.) I practically have to ration his time or pull him off the computer. I guess coloring a coloring book or a board game doesn't always compete. Guess I better figure out how to use these PS3 or XBox thingys just to maintain the ability to relate.
I have been cleaning and packing odds and ends for my inevitable relocation. I'm actually getting pretty excited about all that. I've also been forced to cook. Eh, it's not so bad. Besides, I can make a mean fish stick meal with mac and cheese and peas. Delectable. The beef tenderloin will have to wait.
Breakfast is my preference, but we are out of syrup. Pisser. No pancakes or French toast until I can get to the store. Christian enjoys raisin toast and bacon so all is not lost. Can sometimes sneak in some eggs. Besides, when all else fails, there is always the boxed miracle known as cereal.
We have also taken to watching a Christmas movie every night. We have seen "A Christmas Story" at least 3 times. A personal favorite of my own, it's pretty cool that my son likes it too. I too ingested a good amount of soap as a child. We have also seen "A Charlie Brown Christmas", " A Muppet Christmas Movie" and " Santa Claus". It's actually been kind of fun. I think I may make it a tradition starting the week Christmas break starts. And we'll have hot chocolate and cookies or some sort of snack with the movies. I hope Christian could withstand such an activity for a few years before it becomes totally "lame".
Tonight, we are watching the movie with the house lit by candlelight. I personally adore candlelight. Can't explain it totally, it just feels warm and peaceful with candlelight. Romantic stuffs aside, even Christmas decorations look better with candlelight and not to mention the house smells pretty great.... the candles being Yankee Candles :-).
So, even though we are essentially trapped by the elements, it's not so terrible. I am sorry all the complications it has caused for my family and friends, not to mention countless others. My preference would have been that it could have happened during the school year, but at least it might be a white Christmas. Besides, in my case, sometimes things need to keep you home so that you can actually enjoy home... and a six year old who likes fart jokes. The six year old's ok. The fart jokes wear a little thin though. ;-)
Saturday, December 09, 2006
Sorry to complain
Ugh. Things are crazy, but were going alright until my considerate, tactful, soon to be ex-husband opens his mouth.
For an understanding of the week, I have been working usual school hours 7-4:30 and then playing rehearsals in the evenings from 6:30- 9:30 or 10 pm. "He" had to go on tour with his work, from Sunday through Wednesday. So we've both had taxing weeks. He, however, had a much needed 2 day break by having OFF WORK Thursday and Friday. We both had a performances on Thursday and Friday nights from 7-10pm.
I had to head to a rehearsal this morning at 11. We both played a performance at 3. I then had to head to a different performance at 7 while he also had one at 7.
Craziness, but this is a musicians time of year to earn some money.
In all this, I have had no time to do laundry. Ok. So, in passing I said that I would try and wake up so that I could do it this morning. And he said he would do his on Sunday. Yes, we do our laundry separate, but that explanation would be another post. No big deal. I tried, but couldn't manage to get myself out of bed at 7:30 to do 2 loads of laundry and then proceed to get ready for the rehearsal. Feeling a little under the weather didn't help that, but it was my wanting to sleep that kept me in bed.
I leave at 10:20 telling him that I didn't wake up in time to start any laundry,so he could use the machines if he wanted. ( At this point, I must mention that he had OFF Thursday and Friday)
I arrive home from my last gig at 9:20ish and say hello. He is sitting in the Lazy Boy watching TV. During my break, I had managed to visit with my son ( whom I haven't seen very much of this past week. He's staying w/ his grandparents) and do some Christmas shopping. I tell my husband what I had gotten and we recapped out performances. As I am heading up to my room to get changed he asks me if I got my laundry done. Uh, yeah, I did it while my ass was seated in various performance halls. No, I wasn't home. He says that I said I was going to do it today. Yup, that's what I said, but that didn't happen. He says that he MUST use the machines tomorrow for his stuff. I say fine, yet he presses the point that he is inconvenienced at the fact the my laundry isn't done. Uh, I do my son's and my own stuff. He does his. I said he could use the machines. WHAT'S THE FREAKING INCONVENIENCE!!!! It would seem the inconvenience is mine. So, in order to have concert black to wear for tomorrow's 7:30 am performance, I am washing darks NOW at 11:30 pm. He is going to wear his stinky clothing from today. Good thing I don't sit next to him. So as I prepare to move the darks to the dryer he is sleeping Aw, poor baby. He's had a tough day. Me? I obviously didn't do jack.
This is the shit that reminds me why divorce can be a good thing.
This man can NEVER put someone else first. EVER. Yet he insists on all acknowledging his great feats in living life of, oh, working and breathing. I wanted so bad to ask why he chose not to do some laundry on Thursday or Friday when he had the machines, and the whole freaking house to himself, but what would that prove. I think he just wanted to rub in my face that I didn't do something I said I would, even though I myself had addressed it this morning saying I preferred and maybe even needed to sleep. Doesn't matter. I have inconvenienced him. How? I have no clue. More than likely, he won't even do his laundry tomorrow, which may get under my skin even more.
The thing that pisses me off the most is that a quarrel over laundry can make me so mad. A new low.
For an understanding of the week, I have been working usual school hours 7-4:30 and then playing rehearsals in the evenings from 6:30- 9:30 or 10 pm. "He" had to go on tour with his work, from Sunday through Wednesday. So we've both had taxing weeks. He, however, had a much needed 2 day break by having OFF WORK Thursday and Friday. We both had a performances on Thursday and Friday nights from 7-10pm.
I had to head to a rehearsal this morning at 11. We both played a performance at 3. I then had to head to a different performance at 7 while he also had one at 7.
Craziness, but this is a musicians time of year to earn some money.
In all this, I have had no time to do laundry. Ok. So, in passing I said that I would try and wake up so that I could do it this morning. And he said he would do his on Sunday. Yes, we do our laundry separate, but that explanation would be another post. No big deal. I tried, but couldn't manage to get myself out of bed at 7:30 to do 2 loads of laundry and then proceed to get ready for the rehearsal. Feeling a little under the weather didn't help that, but it was my wanting to sleep that kept me in bed.
I leave at 10:20 telling him that I didn't wake up in time to start any laundry,so he could use the machines if he wanted. ( At this point, I must mention that he had OFF Thursday and Friday)
I arrive home from my last gig at 9:20ish and say hello. He is sitting in the Lazy Boy watching TV. During my break, I had managed to visit with my son ( whom I haven't seen very much of this past week. He's staying w/ his grandparents) and do some Christmas shopping. I tell my husband what I had gotten and we recapped out performances. As I am heading up to my room to get changed he asks me if I got my laundry done. Uh, yeah, I did it while my ass was seated in various performance halls. No, I wasn't home. He says that I said I was going to do it today. Yup, that's what I said, but that didn't happen. He says that he MUST use the machines tomorrow for his stuff. I say fine, yet he presses the point that he is inconvenienced at the fact the my laundry isn't done. Uh, I do my son's and my own stuff. He does his. I said he could use the machines. WHAT'S THE FREAKING INCONVENIENCE!!!! It would seem the inconvenience is mine. So, in order to have concert black to wear for tomorrow's 7:30 am performance, I am washing darks NOW at 11:30 pm. He is going to wear his stinky clothing from today. Good thing I don't sit next to him. So as I prepare to move the darks to the dryer he is sleeping Aw, poor baby. He's had a tough day. Me? I obviously didn't do jack.
This is the shit that reminds me why divorce can be a good thing.
This man can NEVER put someone else first. EVER. Yet he insists on all acknowledging his great feats in living life of, oh, working and breathing. I wanted so bad to ask why he chose not to do some laundry on Thursday or Friday when he had the machines, and the whole freaking house to himself, but what would that prove. I think he just wanted to rub in my face that I didn't do something I said I would, even though I myself had addressed it this morning saying I preferred and maybe even needed to sleep. Doesn't matter. I have inconvenienced him. How? I have no clue. More than likely, he won't even do his laundry tomorrow, which may get under my skin even more.
The thing that pisses me off the most is that a quarrel over laundry can make me so mad. A new low.
Sunday, December 03, 2006
When laughing hurts
My sister came for a visit this weekend. Always a good thing to have family around, sure, but sometimes, we just have a way of cracking each other up. It typically begins with one of us cracking ourself up first and then it goes from there. We went shopping at a Safeway and the parking lot was a little snow and ice covered in some places... especially the route I had chosen to walk. She cracked a smart ass comment ( which is the way we communicate in our family) which was then followed by the comment, "Ooooh, I feel an insurance claim coming on". Probably not that funny to most people, but that line carried through the rest of the night. It later was followed by, "Here's my card" referring to an insurance card.
It's terrible that as I type this, I have totally forgotten what had us laughing so hard in the car that my stomach hurt and my cheeks ache. I do remember a reference to it being so cold "in" the car, that our bodies could cough up ice cubes. It was made more humorous that we were laughing so hard, it got us both coughing so that we sounded like people with emphysema.
But, I guess the greatest thing is when there are people who can make you laugh so hard, you hurt. It's even better when that person, on occasion is yourself.
I share a saying jokingly with some folks that goes, "We're the funniest people we know" talking about ourselves. I guess that's not always a real impressive feat when one is easily amused.
All the same, I defer to this little poster I have that says, " Blessed are we who can laugh at ourselves for we shall never cease to be amused." I guess some just offer more material than others ;-).
It's terrible that as I type this, I have totally forgotten what had us laughing so hard in the car that my stomach hurt and my cheeks ache. I do remember a reference to it being so cold "in" the car, that our bodies could cough up ice cubes. It was made more humorous that we were laughing so hard, it got us both coughing so that we sounded like people with emphysema.
But, I guess the greatest thing is when there are people who can make you laugh so hard, you hurt. It's even better when that person, on occasion is yourself.
I share a saying jokingly with some folks that goes, "We're the funniest people we know" talking about ourselves. I guess that's not always a real impressive feat when one is easily amused.
All the same, I defer to this little poster I have that says, " Blessed are we who can laugh at ourselves for we shall never cease to be amused." I guess some just offer more material than others ;-).
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Today
Today was a Sunday like any other. My son woke up at least an hour before I intended to. He crawled into bed beside me, and, instead of resting quietly as he said he would, he gave me every ten minute update. When I finally decided to claim defeat he then informed me of the days agenda ( all of which I amend mind you. I'm not a complete pushover)
We ate breakfast around 9am ( which is pretty late, for him anyway) I simply reheated some frozen french toast and pancakes I had made earlier in the week and nuked some bacon. After we both cleaned up ( he is VERY helpful with that) I went on to some house stuff while he watched Playhouse Disney.
One of the chores on the dole was to clean the hamster's cage. ( that's not pretty folks) Upon beginning this task, I realized we had no bedding to lay in the bottom, so off to the pet store we go.
We got the "fluff and stuff" ( which I can best describe as resembling what regurgitated cardboard might look like) and were heading to leave when we saw the kitty corral towards the front of the store. He insisted that we go in, so, we did.
So many cats. Some were really adorable too. One reminded me of a calico I had when I was little. (My cat's name was Willow, but for some reason, I couldn't say that so I called him Bee-boo. He was an outdoor cat. Not the friendliest of creatures, but likeable and amusing nonetheless.) There was also a very cute black and brown Himalayan. Very friendly and rather passive. She was about to be adopted. There was a tabby who had one removed due to infection. The caretaker told us her name was "blinky" which I found humorous and mildly cruel at the same time.
We spent over 30 minutes in the 'kitty visiting center', when my son asks, " Can we take one home?" I actually had to think for a minute, but then my answer came rather succinctly; " I'm sorry but no". The "why's" were all truthful and in place for further inquiry:
A) his father can't stand cats and we still all reside together.
TANGENT - But he has been away for the past week, and although there has been more to do, it has been a rather calm existence. This whole split thing might just be a blessing. / TANGENT.
B) I brought no money for a pet adoption
C) I have never maintained a cat on my own. That was always my mom's thing. And when I was old enough to actually help in the caretaking, we had dogs. I'd actually love to have a dog, but I know that I often have to fight to be home to take care of my little boy. I can't imagine leaving a puppy alone in a house, and possibly a cage, for 9-10 hours a day. That's just cruel. Anyway, I'd just like to get some info and do a little research before leaping in and getting a cat.
Perhaps when I get my own place I might consider a feline friend. I also suppose I need to make sure that my son isn't allergic, as I was for a long time after our cat died. I think I still am, but very mildly. Nothing a dose of Benedryl and eye drops can't handle.
We left with our hamster carpet and proceeded to the toy store. We needed to look and see what he wanted to ask Santa to bring for Christmas. This was very good. Santa now feels better informed to make a good decision. I also allowed him to take some money from his piggy for a toy. If the toy he wanted was more expensive than the $$ he brought, I would match up to the amount he had. This worked rather well. And, yes, I did cap the amount of money he could take from the pig.
From there, it was home to clean the cage, noodle for a little bit, and prepare dinner for us and my sister. The night concluded with the usual drone of clean up, pj's, bathroom routine, story time and nightly bedtime negotiations. ( he's going to be lawyer) The better part of the latter half of the night was that my sis came by and I prepared a little dinner for her, as well as some moderately yummy cinnamon buns. Mmmm.
Well, that's it for excitement. Tomorrow begins a full 5 day week of school and a concert on Thursday. Yipppeee.
Better be off to bed.
To any reader - Sorry for the humdrum. Still working on that super exciting, scandalous, riveting story. Did I mention I cleaned the bathrooms? :-) A story for another time, perhaps.
We ate breakfast around 9am ( which is pretty late, for him anyway) I simply reheated some frozen french toast and pancakes I had made earlier in the week and nuked some bacon. After we both cleaned up ( he is VERY helpful with that) I went on to some house stuff while he watched Playhouse Disney.
One of the chores on the dole was to clean the hamster's cage. ( that's not pretty folks) Upon beginning this task, I realized we had no bedding to lay in the bottom, so off to the pet store we go.
We got the "fluff and stuff" ( which I can best describe as resembling what regurgitated cardboard might look like) and were heading to leave when we saw the kitty corral towards the front of the store. He insisted that we go in, so, we did.
So many cats. Some were really adorable too. One reminded me of a calico I had when I was little. (My cat's name was Willow, but for some reason, I couldn't say that so I called him Bee-boo. He was an outdoor cat. Not the friendliest of creatures, but likeable and amusing nonetheless.) There was also a very cute black and brown Himalayan. Very friendly and rather passive. She was about to be adopted. There was a tabby who had one removed due to infection. The caretaker told us her name was "blinky" which I found humorous and mildly cruel at the same time.
We spent over 30 minutes in the 'kitty visiting center', when my son asks, " Can we take one home?" I actually had to think for a minute, but then my answer came rather succinctly; " I'm sorry but no". The "why's" were all truthful and in place for further inquiry:
A) his father can't stand cats and we still all reside together.
TANGENT - But he has been away for the past week, and although there has been more to do, it has been a rather calm existence. This whole split thing might just be a blessing. / TANGENT.
B) I brought no money for a pet adoption
C) I have never maintained a cat on my own. That was always my mom's thing. And when I was old enough to actually help in the caretaking, we had dogs. I'd actually love to have a dog, but I know that I often have to fight to be home to take care of my little boy. I can't imagine leaving a puppy alone in a house, and possibly a cage, for 9-10 hours a day. That's just cruel. Anyway, I'd just like to get some info and do a little research before leaping in and getting a cat.
Perhaps when I get my own place I might consider a feline friend. I also suppose I need to make sure that my son isn't allergic, as I was for a long time after our cat died. I think I still am, but very mildly. Nothing a dose of Benedryl and eye drops can't handle.
We left with our hamster carpet and proceeded to the toy store. We needed to look and see what he wanted to ask Santa to bring for Christmas. This was very good. Santa now feels better informed to make a good decision. I also allowed him to take some money from his piggy for a toy. If the toy he wanted was more expensive than the $$ he brought, I would match up to the amount he had. This worked rather well. And, yes, I did cap the amount of money he could take from the pig.
From there, it was home to clean the cage, noodle for a little bit, and prepare dinner for us and my sister. The night concluded with the usual drone of clean up, pj's, bathroom routine, story time and nightly bedtime negotiations. ( he's going to be lawyer) The better part of the latter half of the night was that my sis came by and I prepared a little dinner for her, as well as some moderately yummy cinnamon buns. Mmmm.
Well, that's it for excitement. Tomorrow begins a full 5 day week of school and a concert on Thursday. Yipppeee.
Better be off to bed.
To any reader - Sorry for the humdrum. Still working on that super exciting, scandalous, riveting story. Did I mention I cleaned the bathrooms? :-) A story for another time, perhaps.
Friday, November 24, 2006
Uninspired
It's been a little while since I have written, so I thought I'd take a brief moment to rectify that. I was truly hoping for some great epiphany or wonderful source of inspiration to befall, but no such luck. Here instead is a brief recap of the daily drone.
This past week has been fair. Monday and Tuesday were in-service days ( days when teachers are bludgeoned with education propaganda and such) I went to the Dr on Monday for the back trauma. The great skilled doctor merely prescribed a ton of meds including a steroid, pain killer and muscle relaxant. Yeah, productive week. I am seeing a different doctor this coming week. The pain has receded, but the source is still unknown.
Wednesday I took my first attempt at making an apple pie. Not being a master of the culinary arts, this was quite a feat. That, plus my mother makes a kick-ass pie herself. That being true, I merely consulted her often. I am happy to report that the product was edible and somewhat pleasantly so.
Today, little C and I went to see Little Feet. Cute. Great animation. Some very funny moments. The story was fair, but I've seen worse from the warm fuzzy movie types.
As for right now, I think I am going to retire to the book I am reading. It's this guys narrative about the time he read the entire Encyclopedia Britannica. I wasn't sure at first, but it's turning out to be a great combo of casual humor and interesting nerdy trivia.
Here's hoping for an epiphany.
Happy Holidays folks !!
This past week has been fair. Monday and Tuesday were in-service days ( days when teachers are bludgeoned with education propaganda and such) I went to the Dr on Monday for the back trauma. The great skilled doctor merely prescribed a ton of meds including a steroid, pain killer and muscle relaxant. Yeah, productive week. I am seeing a different doctor this coming week. The pain has receded, but the source is still unknown.
Wednesday I took my first attempt at making an apple pie. Not being a master of the culinary arts, this was quite a feat. That, plus my mother makes a kick-ass pie herself. That being true, I merely consulted her often. I am happy to report that the product was edible and somewhat pleasantly so.
Today, little C and I went to see Little Feet. Cute. Great animation. Some very funny moments. The story was fair, but I've seen worse from the warm fuzzy movie types.
As for right now, I think I am going to retire to the book I am reading. It's this guys narrative about the time he read the entire Encyclopedia Britannica. I wasn't sure at first, but it's turning out to be a great combo of casual humor and interesting nerdy trivia.
Here's hoping for an epiphany.
Happy Holidays folks !!
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Number next
There has so much going on as of late, it's hard to know where to start.
#1 - back issues - Ugh, this is driving me crazy. Several years ago I was diagnosed with a bulging disk (not quite herniated) for which I went to physical therapy. The last few months I've had this sporadic lower back pain that just hurts. This past week, it has come back and it's almost debilitating. I'll sit for 15 minutes, and when I get up, I can't stand straight. My shoulders will go back, but it's like my pelvis won't rotate forward so that the rest of my back will straighten. It's both a little unnerving and highly annoying. I'll see a doctor, as soon as I get a minute to, or if it gets to emergency status. There are 3 more musical theater performances to go and I can't really not be there for them. All I hope is that they can take some little hammer thing to my back and fix whatever the trouble is.
#2 - Margins - Have you ever felt overwhelmed? It seems as if I have lived 3 months of overwhelmed, but I am sure that there are others in much worse situations that me. Anyway, I went to a senior student character seminar where they discussed the idea of keeping "margins" with the students. They defined margin as what you are not obligated to do. For instance, your job and all other commitments are the writing in your life's textbook. The margin is where you collect your thoughts and place what you want to do or maintain free space. The speaker commented on how intimidating a book might appear if it had no margins. Perhaps life is the same. In this session, they had you take the total hours of a week 168 I think it was and subtract what your life takes. Here was mine;
168
12x5=work (during the musical that's 16) 60
4x1 = weekend work 4
2x4 = pers. rehearsal and concerts 8
8x7 = sleep 56
4x2 = housekeeping/laundry 8
3x7 = cooking +eating 21
2x2 = grocery and other shopping 4
161
Hmmm. I guess I could sleep less, but it really doesn't come out to 8 a night. Sometimes it more like 5 on some weekdays and then 10 on a weekend. Besides, I like sleep :-) As for TV, when do I watch tv.... that'd be once a week for a half hour, if I can keep my eyes open. This all goes back to my previous thoughts on free time. I hate the prospect of having nothing to do. The argument to that is, there are times when I can't plan for those things that I need to plan for in order to do, uh, like my classes or reflecting on things done or projecting future goals. ( I say that as I write this while I am listening to jazz tunes for my jazz class tomorrow)
Oh yeah, and I have a kid. Don't see that in that schedule do you? Lucky for me, he actually gets a little of that sleep time ( by giving me the countdown to when I am supposed to get up. That sounds like," What time are you getting up?", "8", "Ok, it is 7:35. You have 25 minutes until you get up", " Thank you". Five minutes later, " You have 20 minutes until you have to get up". "It's 7:45. Only fifteen minutes until you get up"... you get the idea) and combos cleaning and grocery time too. But that 7 hours remaining, as much of that goes to him as it can, which on weekends, is a pretty big chunk. Thank goodness for Mr. Biggs and parks. It's honestly not enough time though and rarely doesn't seem rushed.
But really, margins. There's an idea that might be nice to contemplate. People can't do it all (oh yeah, watch me) Honestly though, what can go in order to get some wiggle room? Which sacrifices are better?
It's all a little overwhelming to even consider.
Lastly, I am in the process of brainstorming a video presentation to present to my senior students. This is the first class of seniors of whom I have taught for all four years. They are remarkable people and I want to offer tribute to them by doing a video presentation. I'll keep piecing that sucker together.
That'll have to come after the concert we have in 2 weeks and the planning for the 2 concerts, and five festivals following that. Sweet !!
As for forward glances, can't wait to see Little Feet. A penguin with a groove. Pretty cool.
That's a glimpse of the now. Who-hoo. Time for bed.
#1 - back issues - Ugh, this is driving me crazy. Several years ago I was diagnosed with a bulging disk (not quite herniated) for which I went to physical therapy. The last few months I've had this sporadic lower back pain that just hurts. This past week, it has come back and it's almost debilitating. I'll sit for 15 minutes, and when I get up, I can't stand straight. My shoulders will go back, but it's like my pelvis won't rotate forward so that the rest of my back will straighten. It's both a little unnerving and highly annoying. I'll see a doctor, as soon as I get a minute to, or if it gets to emergency status. There are 3 more musical theater performances to go and I can't really not be there for them. All I hope is that they can take some little hammer thing to my back and fix whatever the trouble is.
#2 - Margins - Have you ever felt overwhelmed? It seems as if I have lived 3 months of overwhelmed, but I am sure that there are others in much worse situations that me. Anyway, I went to a senior student character seminar where they discussed the idea of keeping "margins" with the students. They defined margin as what you are not obligated to do. For instance, your job and all other commitments are the writing in your life's textbook. The margin is where you collect your thoughts and place what you want to do or maintain free space. The speaker commented on how intimidating a book might appear if it had no margins. Perhaps life is the same. In this session, they had you take the total hours of a week 168 I think it was and subtract what your life takes. Here was mine;
168
12x5=work (during the musical that's 16) 60
4x1 = weekend work 4
2x4 = pers. rehearsal and concerts 8
8x7 = sleep 56
4x2 = housekeeping/laundry 8
3x7 = cooking +eating 21
2x2 = grocery and other shopping 4
161
Hmmm. I guess I could sleep less, but it really doesn't come out to 8 a night. Sometimes it more like 5 on some weekdays and then 10 on a weekend. Besides, I like sleep :-) As for TV, when do I watch tv.... that'd be once a week for a half hour, if I can keep my eyes open. This all goes back to my previous thoughts on free time. I hate the prospect of having nothing to do. The argument to that is, there are times when I can't plan for those things that I need to plan for in order to do, uh, like my classes or reflecting on things done or projecting future goals. ( I say that as I write this while I am listening to jazz tunes for my jazz class tomorrow)
Oh yeah, and I have a kid. Don't see that in that schedule do you? Lucky for me, he actually gets a little of that sleep time ( by giving me the countdown to when I am supposed to get up. That sounds like," What time are you getting up?", "8", "Ok, it is 7:35. You have 25 minutes until you get up", " Thank you". Five minutes later, " You have 20 minutes until you have to get up". "It's 7:45. Only fifteen minutes until you get up"... you get the idea) and combos cleaning and grocery time too. But that 7 hours remaining, as much of that goes to him as it can, which on weekends, is a pretty big chunk. Thank goodness for Mr. Biggs and parks. It's honestly not enough time though and rarely doesn't seem rushed.
But really, margins. There's an idea that might be nice to contemplate. People can't do it all (oh yeah, watch me) Honestly though, what can go in order to get some wiggle room? Which sacrifices are better?
It's all a little overwhelming to even consider.
Lastly, I am in the process of brainstorming a video presentation to present to my senior students. This is the first class of seniors of whom I have taught for all four years. They are remarkable people and I want to offer tribute to them by doing a video presentation. I'll keep piecing that sucker together.
That'll have to come after the concert we have in 2 weeks and the planning for the 2 concerts, and five festivals following that. Sweet !!
As for forward glances, can't wait to see Little Feet. A penguin with a groove. Pretty cool.
That's a glimpse of the now. Who-hoo. Time for bed.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
A little funny
Love my high school students....
Today, we are having a rehearsal and the percussionists are "noodling" (i.e. - playing softly when they are not supposed to be playing at all) on the mallet instruments. A little preoccupied, I say, " Percussion, stop tinkeling" Hmm. One of my senior trumpet players then asks partly in jest and part serious, " Ms.S, do you know that tinkling is a reference to urinating ?".
"Yeah. What's your point?"
Next time I'll say, "So, if I say it sounds like crap right now, will that be misunderstood?" My money sits on the reply will be, "Depends on what section you are talking about."
Pushing the envelope just a little.... and a few sharp wits. These are a few of my favorite things......
Today, we are having a rehearsal and the percussionists are "noodling" (i.e. - playing softly when they are not supposed to be playing at all) on the mallet instruments. A little preoccupied, I say, " Percussion, stop tinkeling" Hmm. One of my senior trumpet players then asks partly in jest and part serious, " Ms.S, do you know that tinkling is a reference to urinating ?".
"Yeah. What's your point?"
Next time I'll say, "So, if I say it sounds like crap right now, will that be misunderstood?" My money sits on the reply will be, "Depends on what section you are talking about."
Pushing the envelope just a little.... and a few sharp wits. These are a few of my favorite things......
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Boys will be boys
I tell myself that I'm ready to raise a little boy....
Then I get things like this over email. (There were also some tremendous pictures, but I don't know how to transfer them here.) These are the things people don't share to expecting parents or ones with super little guys. Wonder why? ;-)
And you also find out interesting things when you have sons, like...
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft.
house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a
crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and
a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint
can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to th row the ball up a
few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a
long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a
baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's
already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed w ith Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even
though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certai n Lego's wi ll pass through the digestive tract of a 4-
year old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same
sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you
still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool fi lters d o not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV
commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys
do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response
time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make
earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their
friends, with or without kids.
25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
Hmmmm. Then again, maybe not.
Then I get things like this over email. (There were also some tremendous pictures, but I don't know how to transfer them here.) These are the things people don't share to expecting parents or ones with super little guys. Wonder why? ;-)
And you also find out interesting things when you have sons, like...
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft.
house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a
crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and
a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint
can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to th row the ball up a
few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a
long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a
baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's
already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed w ith Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even
though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certai n Lego's wi ll pass through the digestive tract of a 4-
year old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same
sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you
still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool fi lters d o not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV
commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys
do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response
time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make
earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their
friends, with or without kids.
25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
Hmmmm. Then again, maybe not.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
In the reflecting mirror
Well, it's now a 4 day run of being awake from 5:30 am to 11:30pm and working 7-10:30..... except for Halloween of course. As I am a sleeper, fatigue level is very high.
For today's news... Sometimes teaching adolescents gives you a chance to see things in a different light.
As of today, 2 of my students are having "trauma". One is being a little cruel to another and the other is shutting down. I get this information from the one who is pulling away. She states that her friend is being very bossy and rude, insulting her and others. To cut this epic short, I became haunted by that "Dear Margo" email. I don't think the one friend wants to cut off the other, but she doesn't want to confront or address the problem. She's not totally in the right either, but her friend isn't making things easy. The other is very bright, bull headed, self justified and honestly, a little immature. Talk about it? Let it drop and fade? Abandon completely? I advised her to give it a little time and to eventually discuss it. If it blows up, she can end this friendship without feeling totally badly about the decision. As strongly as I felt about that "Margo" entry, now I'm not sure. High maintenance people... who knows one of those ;-). If she doesn't see or experience any positives from being with or around the other person, maybe it is best to bail. Going to school with her everyday may complicate matters though.
After this girl had recounted some of her issues and left, I couldn't help but flash into other thoughts. (Self analyzing? I never do that.;-) ) ;
The danger of sarcasm - people don't know when you are serious or not. I LIVE this one. I have been in several encounters where people don't know that I am being sarcastic OR don't ask if they think I was being cruel. This is very dangerous when one uses sarcasm often..... and has an inclination for a biting tongue. I'm not saying being sarcastic is a good way to be, but, sometimes in moderation, it can make things amusing and sometimes lighten the mood.
People who come off as super critical that don't mean to be and don't think before they speak - (Eh hem) Sometimes people state unsolicited opinions of things timed in such a manner, or about things that another might find critical or offensive. They aren't really meant to be that way, but perhaps more caution should be taken before speaking about something someone holds dear. Hard to do, unless you know what another does value, so perhaps greater attention should be paid to that too. Ever goat someone just to get under someone's skin a little bit and attempt to engage them in a conversation? Not a great technique, but again, it can open some doors when taken as bait for fun banter and debate rather than criticism.
And then there are just the over-reactors.- I think, in general, women have a greater propensity towards this than men. Hormones. :-(. Take a little something and put 20 other meanings and motivations to it. Yeah, I NEVER do that. ( note bolt of lightening and growing nose)
I like to see these situations play out and see what happens. However, if I don't get a little sleep soon, the ability to be as rational as I am able will be greatly diminished. I can see it now. Any ability to listen without judgment or bias will be totally gone and my advice to all will be, "Suck it up or tell 'em to kiss your ass". Yup. That oughta guarantee me a contract and a raise for next year.
Kids.
For today's news... Sometimes teaching adolescents gives you a chance to see things in a different light.
As of today, 2 of my students are having "trauma". One is being a little cruel to another and the other is shutting down. I get this information from the one who is pulling away. She states that her friend is being very bossy and rude, insulting her and others. To cut this epic short, I became haunted by that "Dear Margo" email. I don't think the one friend wants to cut off the other, but she doesn't want to confront or address the problem. She's not totally in the right either, but her friend isn't making things easy. The other is very bright, bull headed, self justified and honestly, a little immature. Talk about it? Let it drop and fade? Abandon completely? I advised her to give it a little time and to eventually discuss it. If it blows up, she can end this friendship without feeling totally badly about the decision. As strongly as I felt about that "Margo" entry, now I'm not sure. High maintenance people... who knows one of those ;-). If she doesn't see or experience any positives from being with or around the other person, maybe it is best to bail. Going to school with her everyday may complicate matters though.
After this girl had recounted some of her issues and left, I couldn't help but flash into other thoughts. (Self analyzing? I never do that.;-) ) ;
The danger of sarcasm - people don't know when you are serious or not. I LIVE this one. I have been in several encounters where people don't know that I am being sarcastic OR don't ask if they think I was being cruel. This is very dangerous when one uses sarcasm often..... and has an inclination for a biting tongue. I'm not saying being sarcastic is a good way to be, but, sometimes in moderation, it can make things amusing and sometimes lighten the mood.
People who come off as super critical that don't mean to be and don't think before they speak - (Eh hem) Sometimes people state unsolicited opinions of things timed in such a manner, or about things that another might find critical or offensive. They aren't really meant to be that way, but perhaps more caution should be taken before speaking about something someone holds dear. Hard to do, unless you know what another does value, so perhaps greater attention should be paid to that too. Ever goat someone just to get under someone's skin a little bit and attempt to engage them in a conversation? Not a great technique, but again, it can open some doors when taken as bait for fun banter and debate rather than criticism.
And then there are just the over-reactors.- I think, in general, women have a greater propensity towards this than men. Hormones. :-(. Take a little something and put 20 other meanings and motivations to it. Yeah, I NEVER do that. ( note bolt of lightening and growing nose)
I like to see these situations play out and see what happens. However, if I don't get a little sleep soon, the ability to be as rational as I am able will be greatly diminished. I can see it now. Any ability to listen without judgment or bias will be totally gone and my advice to all will be, "Suck it up or tell 'em to kiss your ass". Yup. That oughta guarantee me a contract and a raise for next year.
Kids.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Halloween in the arctic
My son, my sister and I headed out for a little " trick or treating" tonight. Before doing so, we had to prepare with our gloves, hats, long johns, handwarmers, etc because it was around 30 degrees. Here, it seems tradition to be pretty darn cold on Halloween. 3 years ago, there was a thin layer of ice on the ground which made walking from house to house somewhat of a scary experience itself. These are the time I miss East coast Octobers...... and wish we had a fireplace.
The little boy went as the RED ranger from the Power Rangers. Being the slackers we are, my sister wore an old Fed Ex uniform and I wore one of her old lab coats, a stethoscope, and a ball cap. Nobody was sure if I was going for a doctor or a butcher, but I wanted the ball cap for warmth.
The folks in this neighborhood are awesome about this time of year. Scores of homes were participating and many had decorated their homes with either Halloween or fall decor.
2 of the houses we visited had a scary scene set up. In one, they had their garage open, draped with black sheets and things glowing due to a black light. 2 witches were there and were rather friendly. They didn't scare the little guy at all. Sitting in a chair was a scarecrow with his head bent over and a bowl of candy in his lap. The witches told the kids to get the candy from the bowl. As they reached into it, the 'scarecrow' came alive. He lifted his head to show his pale lined face and grabbed the kids arms. Oh my. That sure took my guy by surprise. He wasn't even sure how to react - whether to scream or cry. It didn't help that his aunt and myself were cracking up hysterically. I don't think he ever put the "trick" part into the equation. He recovered fairly quickly. I hope he'll get the hang of the whole "scary" theme as we go on. He's not currently a big fan of either pranks or the blood and guts thing.
Another highlight was one of the adult costumes. There was a guy in a "real" storm trooper costume - white everything - and even a voice changer. That costume was impressive. There was a gentleman at one of the houses we stopped at that was joking saying that the adults get into more than the kids. He then commented on what the storm trooper's outfit might have cost. Funny where adult minds go. Regardless, it was awesome.
After about an hour of freezing our butts off and then possessing a plastic pumpkin very full with candy, the Red ranger decided to call it a night. It's much nicer when your kid says he's had enough than to cut them off.
We returned home where he then proceeded to give out candy to tricker treaters who stopped by. All in all, a good night. Totally worth a little frost bite. :-)
The little boy went as the RED ranger from the Power Rangers. Being the slackers we are, my sister wore an old Fed Ex uniform and I wore one of her old lab coats, a stethoscope, and a ball cap. Nobody was sure if I was going for a doctor or a butcher, but I wanted the ball cap for warmth.
The folks in this neighborhood are awesome about this time of year. Scores of homes were participating and many had decorated their homes with either Halloween or fall decor.
2 of the houses we visited had a scary scene set up. In one, they had their garage open, draped with black sheets and things glowing due to a black light. 2 witches were there and were rather friendly. They didn't scare the little guy at all. Sitting in a chair was a scarecrow with his head bent over and a bowl of candy in his lap. The witches told the kids to get the candy from the bowl. As they reached into it, the 'scarecrow' came alive. He lifted his head to show his pale lined face and grabbed the kids arms. Oh my. That sure took my guy by surprise. He wasn't even sure how to react - whether to scream or cry. It didn't help that his aunt and myself were cracking up hysterically. I don't think he ever put the "trick" part into the equation. He recovered fairly quickly. I hope he'll get the hang of the whole "scary" theme as we go on. He's not currently a big fan of either pranks or the blood and guts thing.
Another highlight was one of the adult costumes. There was a guy in a "real" storm trooper costume - white everything - and even a voice changer. That costume was impressive. There was a gentleman at one of the houses we stopped at that was joking saying that the adults get into more than the kids. He then commented on what the storm trooper's outfit might have cost. Funny where adult minds go. Regardless, it was awesome.
After about an hour of freezing our butts off and then possessing a plastic pumpkin very full with candy, the Red ranger decided to call it a night. It's much nicer when your kid says he's had enough than to cut them off.
We returned home where he then proceeded to give out candy to tricker treaters who stopped by. All in all, a good night. Totally worth a little frost bite. :-)
Monday, October 30, 2006
So tell me what you want, what you really,really want
I want to go to my happy place. Sad thing is, I think I have misplaced the map... along with my briefcase :-(
The prospect of divorce makes one, me at least, over analyze every relationship you have or have had, looking for flaws or ones to emerge. Looking for what is bad and seeing if you are to blame for it. I've read that children go through this. I didn't know adults did as well. Even when the best of situations, it encourages thoughts of self doubt. I hope the journey proves to be worthwhile and not detrimental.
I can't help but think this may go back to reflect on the "narcissistic" side of me, but I'm going to rationalize that it is important for people to know what they want. Again, my wants go to relationships.
I just read a blog where a wife tells roughly ten things that she adores about her husband. Although a little cheesy :-), I think that is great. And by the sounds of it, I am fairly positive that the husband could return the favor.
My experience has not mirrored that. At one point, after marriage, my spouse and I tried to share what we wanted from a "partner". He said, ""physical relations no less than once a week and a hot meal on the table" I think he meant this to reflect he did not have tremendous expectation, but my reaction to it was insult. I want more than that. He says that is being selfish. His expectations are supposedly easy to meet and will show that one cares.
Uh.... I want to be more to someone than that and I don't consider what I want to be icing. I almost feel them compulsory. Whether what I want is real or attainable or not, that I still have to learn, but these are some things that I want from another (a friend or other) and that I want to be able to provide to others.
#1 - Someone who makes you want to be a better person. (boy that sounds super cheesy) You know, someone who inspires you to try harder, be better, think harder.
#2 - A helper - Someone who wants to be a help or who offers aid. I want to help others, but, for fear of interfering, I usually wait until asked. I also love people who actively want to help when they are able or when "they notice" it is greatly needed.
#3 - Reliable & trustworthy - When they say something will be done, it gets done or they acknowledge why it wasn't. Everyone drops a ball here and there. But sometimes, you do something because it's your integrity that is being defined or you apologize and explain why something wasn't done and make amends. The "blow off" kinda makes me angry.
#4 - Values people - this, I think, can be shown be the way people treat and talk about others. Sometimes I feel this can be pretty hard, especially when you get the impression that you are valueless to someone else.
#5 - Has the ability to be compassionate and understanding - Not a total "all about me" person - i.e. the one who always has a one up story or can not demonstrate sympathy/empathy for another.
#6 - Not overly judgmental or at least moderately so -
#7 - Has a sense of humor - a necessity. Anyone who can make someone laugh already touches them... as long as the laughter isn't in total ridicule. Besides, everyone should be able to laugh at themselves every once in a while. And anyone who knows me needs to know that what I speak can only be taken seriously or literally about 50% of the time... depending on the day.
#8 - A picker-upper - I say this feeling a bit in Debbie Downer mode myself, but someone who helps to see the better things or the good things rather than "always" pointing out the negative. One of those little things today was, on the way to work, I enjoyed playing "hit the tumbleweed" What fun !!!
#9 - Respectable - takes care of themselves ( without going crazy) and shows common courtesies when appropriate.
#10 - Able and willing to communicate - someone who can or will try to express their thoughts, opinions, and feelings on things.
#11 - Patience and Forgiveness - :-). Hmmm. Another definite necessity and a trait I struggle with myself.
# 12 - Able to admit they have erred. - harder than it sounds
#13 - Just enjoy the company of. - You can't prescribe this one. You do, or you don't.
I'm glad I have listed these things as it reminds me of things I need to do to improve myself as well. You can't ask people in your life to be everything you aren't. Give to get. Show to be shown. Do onto others.... you know how it goes.
It's a big order,huh? Although still probably incomplete. I'll just send it to "Friends and More R US" so that I can get this puppy filled. Ah, a puppy!!! Perhaps that is the solution.
Whatever the case, for me and these matters of relationships, it's time to lay low and regroup. I told an acquaintance of mine that I have a tendency to beat my head against walls until they either break down or until it hurts too much. ("recalcitrant" I think is a fancy word for it.) In these matters, my head is broken and bleeding and the walls still stand. It may be best to let these walls alone and survey for some pasture instead, while I mend what..... needs to be mended.
Regardless, I'm gonna give this wish list to Santa. ;-) Preferably a hot one. Can't hurt to hope a little.
The prospect of divorce makes one, me at least, over analyze every relationship you have or have had, looking for flaws or ones to emerge. Looking for what is bad and seeing if you are to blame for it. I've read that children go through this. I didn't know adults did as well. Even when the best of situations, it encourages thoughts of self doubt. I hope the journey proves to be worthwhile and not detrimental.
I can't help but think this may go back to reflect on the "narcissistic" side of me, but I'm going to rationalize that it is important for people to know what they want. Again, my wants go to relationships.
I just read a blog where a wife tells roughly ten things that she adores about her husband. Although a little cheesy :-), I think that is great. And by the sounds of it, I am fairly positive that the husband could return the favor.
My experience has not mirrored that. At one point, after marriage, my spouse and I tried to share what we wanted from a "partner". He said, ""physical relations no less than once a week and a hot meal on the table" I think he meant this to reflect he did not have tremendous expectation, but my reaction to it was insult. I want more than that. He says that is being selfish. His expectations are supposedly easy to meet and will show that one cares.
Uh.... I want to be more to someone than that and I don't consider what I want to be icing. I almost feel them compulsory. Whether what I want is real or attainable or not, that I still have to learn, but these are some things that I want from another (a friend or other) and that I want to be able to provide to others.
#1 - Someone who makes you want to be a better person. (boy that sounds super cheesy) You know, someone who inspires you to try harder, be better, think harder.
#2 - A helper - Someone who wants to be a help or who offers aid. I want to help others, but, for fear of interfering, I usually wait until asked. I also love people who actively want to help when they are able or when "they notice" it is greatly needed.
#3 - Reliable & trustworthy - When they say something will be done, it gets done or they acknowledge why it wasn't. Everyone drops a ball here and there. But sometimes, you do something because it's your integrity that is being defined or you apologize and explain why something wasn't done and make amends. The "blow off" kinda makes me angry.
#4 - Values people - this, I think, can be shown be the way people treat and talk about others. Sometimes I feel this can be pretty hard, especially when you get the impression that you are valueless to someone else.
#5 - Has the ability to be compassionate and understanding - Not a total "all about me" person - i.e. the one who always has a one up story or can not demonstrate sympathy/empathy for another.
#6 - Not overly judgmental or at least moderately so -
#7 - Has a sense of humor - a necessity. Anyone who can make someone laugh already touches them... as long as the laughter isn't in total ridicule. Besides, everyone should be able to laugh at themselves every once in a while. And anyone who knows me needs to know that what I speak can only be taken seriously or literally about 50% of the time... depending on the day.
#8 - A picker-upper - I say this feeling a bit in Debbie Downer mode myself, but someone who helps to see the better things or the good things rather than "always" pointing out the negative. One of those little things today was, on the way to work, I enjoyed playing "hit the tumbleweed" What fun !!!
#9 - Respectable - takes care of themselves ( without going crazy) and shows common courtesies when appropriate.
#10 - Able and willing to communicate - someone who can or will try to express their thoughts, opinions, and feelings on things.
#11 - Patience and Forgiveness - :-). Hmmm. Another definite necessity and a trait I struggle with myself.
# 12 - Able to admit they have erred. - harder than it sounds
#13 - Just enjoy the company of. - You can't prescribe this one. You do, or you don't.
I'm glad I have listed these things as it reminds me of things I need to do to improve myself as well. You can't ask people in your life to be everything you aren't. Give to get. Show to be shown. Do onto others.... you know how it goes.
It's a big order,huh? Although still probably incomplete. I'll just send it to "Friends and More R US" so that I can get this puppy filled. Ah, a puppy!!! Perhaps that is the solution.
Whatever the case, for me and these matters of relationships, it's time to lay low and regroup. I told an acquaintance of mine that I have a tendency to beat my head against walls until they either break down or until it hurts too much. ("recalcitrant" I think is a fancy word for it.) In these matters, my head is broken and bleeding and the walls still stand. It may be best to let these walls alone and survey for some pasture instead, while I mend what..... needs to be mended.
Regardless, I'm gonna give this wish list to Santa. ;-) Preferably a hot one. Can't hurt to hope a little.
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Other blogs of interest
There is this one blog that I love entitled "mad meyers". He has some very clever sayings and links to interesting things.
Here is one he had on his blog that is awesome for you "mechanically inclined" types. This at a party would be hilarious.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/84221353@N00/281833134/in/pool-make/
Here is one he had on his blog that is awesome for you "mechanically inclined" types. This at a party would be hilarious.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/84221353@N00/281833134/in/pool-make/
Change - and passive aggressiveness
Mood - It's a down day
Change - it's inevitable, right? But in some cases, I don't like it. That proably comes across as an over simplification, however, I don't think that makes it any less true.
I specifically don't like change when it comes to my interactions with other people. Let me be more clear - I don't like negative change when it comes to my interactions with other people.
I wish there were more clarity in handling these than there is.
Examples, you lose contact with friends from college - hate that
A situation strains your relationship with coworkers and their is no immediate resolution is sight
What seemed to be a promising friendship takes a nose dive for unknown reasons
Etc.
You get the picture. How do other people handle these things? In the past, I had just let time take care of it and, many times, the result was never close to what I had wanted... not meaning the result wasn't best, but many times I feel it could have been better. In the last year or so, I have tried to disclose more and get more information so as to try and navigate these situations. Sadly, I have to admit that isn't working so great either. Again clarification; with my students and coworkers it really has. The honesty is the best policy saying seems to be accurate here. In matters where "I" seem to me more invested, honesty is more difficult, sometimes unwise, and when given, seems to be rebuffed or makes the other party totally uncomfortable and non communicative. My current situation at home is the most pervasive here, but (as my life seems to model) history does, has, and will repeat itself in other places.
I still feel that honesty is the best policy, but it is hard to decide how to proceed when you don't have total honesty on the other side of the fence. It is near impossible to move your chess piece when you can't even guess the moves or their reasons from your joining player. I guess that is why both players can see the board. When you don't know where the other person is coming from, all that can be done is speculation and that...... oh forget about it. When it comes to people I see in a positive way, I speculate what "I want" to be true, not always accurately perceiving the subtle signs that are being given, or failing to perceive those signs in the negative light in which they are being given. When I perceive people poorly, I tend to think in the opposite manner.
The post about the "truth" is a total display of passive aggressive because I was upset. I didn't have anywhere to put that so I put it here. I don't know if it was wrong as it incriminates no one, but, it's not exactly "handling" a situation either. I don't know if I can or even should handle it. I know that I miss something I once thought there was and have to convince myself to stop trying to recreate it.
My place on the totem pole has been carved and I just seem unwilling to see it.
Perhaps that isn't change, but an earlier misplacing of the place on the totem pole. That one is true in the house. You can't really know where you stand until someone "shows" you. Then, I guess, that is really more accurate than anything someone could say, isn't it? And once that place is learned, the import of what you say is directly related to it.
I know change can be good, but damn if it doesn't hurt like hell. I wish I knew how to better handle change.
I'll believe things will improve soon. I kinda have to. I'm not sure how to accomplish that yet, but I'll figure something out.
As for today, there aren't many other directions to look.
Change - it's inevitable, right? But in some cases, I don't like it. That proably comes across as an over simplification, however, I don't think that makes it any less true.
I specifically don't like change when it comes to my interactions with other people. Let me be more clear - I don't like negative change when it comes to my interactions with other people.
I wish there were more clarity in handling these than there is.
Examples, you lose contact with friends from college - hate that
A situation strains your relationship with coworkers and their is no immediate resolution is sight
What seemed to be a promising friendship takes a nose dive for unknown reasons
Etc.
You get the picture. How do other people handle these things? In the past, I had just let time take care of it and, many times, the result was never close to what I had wanted... not meaning the result wasn't best, but many times I feel it could have been better. In the last year or so, I have tried to disclose more and get more information so as to try and navigate these situations. Sadly, I have to admit that isn't working so great either. Again clarification; with my students and coworkers it really has. The honesty is the best policy saying seems to be accurate here. In matters where "I" seem to me more invested, honesty is more difficult, sometimes unwise, and when given, seems to be rebuffed or makes the other party totally uncomfortable and non communicative. My current situation at home is the most pervasive here, but (as my life seems to model) history does, has, and will repeat itself in other places.
I still feel that honesty is the best policy, but it is hard to decide how to proceed when you don't have total honesty on the other side of the fence. It is near impossible to move your chess piece when you can't even guess the moves or their reasons from your joining player. I guess that is why both players can see the board. When you don't know where the other person is coming from, all that can be done is speculation and that...... oh forget about it. When it comes to people I see in a positive way, I speculate what "I want" to be true, not always accurately perceiving the subtle signs that are being given, or failing to perceive those signs in the negative light in which they are being given. When I perceive people poorly, I tend to think in the opposite manner.
The post about the "truth" is a total display of passive aggressive because I was upset. I didn't have anywhere to put that so I put it here. I don't know if it was wrong as it incriminates no one, but, it's not exactly "handling" a situation either. I don't know if I can or even should handle it. I know that I miss something I once thought there was and have to convince myself to stop trying to recreate it.
My place on the totem pole has been carved and I just seem unwilling to see it.
Perhaps that isn't change, but an earlier misplacing of the place on the totem pole. That one is true in the house. You can't really know where you stand until someone "shows" you. Then, I guess, that is really more accurate than anything someone could say, isn't it? And once that place is learned, the import of what you say is directly related to it.
I know change can be good, but damn if it doesn't hurt like hell. I wish I knew how to better handle change.
I'll believe things will improve soon. I kinda have to. I'm not sure how to accomplish that yet, but I'll figure something out.
As for today, there aren't many other directions to look.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Personalities
After reading the email about the complaint against the Type A narcissist, I thought I might briefly research personality types and a few disorders. This can be bad, for in this,( just like after reading a medical journal -once you've deciphered it) you find symptoms and signs that you yourself possess.
Let me copy some info for you;
Type A personality -
Insatiable desire to achieve their goals
Strong willingness to compete in all situations
Strong desire for recognition and advancement
Desire to multitask under time constraints
Above average mental and physical alertness
Have limitless problems with time. Irritable, restless with other's pace, high impatience at having to wait for someone, rage at having to wait in line, detests wasting time, drives over the speed limit, evades red lights, is 'hard on equipment,' always underestimates the time a job will take.
Have esteem issues, as they donÂ’t base their value on solid ground but rather on meeting standards. They value themselves and what they do by money. They spend or give money as a way of showing love or affection. In relationships there is a medium of exchange and of acceptance with others and it is money.
Is a perfectionist and of low self esteem. Getting dirty makes them feel cheap and worthless. They need neat surroundings.
Reluctant to share power/control/delegate, takes on more and more work, pursue more challenging tasks, plays hard as works, detests losing, plays to win even against children/friends, sets higher goals for self. challenging.concernedd with getting and having rather than being.
May deny emotion or not know they have any. They may feel guilty for having or showing emotions as this would take them away from the source of real value for them which is to meet standards like a perfectly performing machine.
Recreation only with friends from work better communication at work than at home organized hobbies work as a substitute for intimate contacts. Reading is all work related. Work late more than peers do. When awakened thoughts go to work. Live by deadlines and quotas. Creates unnecessary deadlines
Type B -
Relaxed
Likelier than a Type A personality to be patient
Creative and imaginative
Inclined to self-analyze
"B" type loves to party, travel and be part of groups, and is often the center of attention. They love excitement and are often impatient and demanding as a result of being a "high energy" type.
The "B" personality is as supportive of others as they are direct in their approach. Most people enjoy being around them or watching or listening to them "perform". It is very important for the "B" personality to be liked by others and can be easily hurt if they think someone doesn't care for them. They may take it very personally.
Type C -
The "C" thrives on details, accuracy and takes just about everything seriously. The "C" doesn't like "hype", rather, they want facts...Information from which they can verify the details and make a decision. They are very consistent in everything they do because everything has an order or procedure; thus they can be predictable at times and often very dependable, however, don't expect them to make a decision when YOU want it, as it will only come after THEY have checked all the facts and are satisfied that everything is correct.
They are deep, thoughtful and usually very sensitive. They enjoy know how and why things are the way they are rather than taking anything at face value.
You want to be right.
You research every aspect of a situation and consider every eventuality before making a decision.
You value your reputation for being accurate and logical.
You like systems and procedures that produce predictable and consistent outcomes.
You look for what could go wrong.
You read the fine print. You are a stickler for detail.
You prefer to work alone.
You have very high standards, especially for yourself. You can be a perfectionist.
Energized by...
Being right
Having access to information and data
Having time to investigate the problem, formulate a plan, and carry it through to completion
Being dealt with in a reserved, business-like manner
Being recognized and rewarded for specific accomplishments
Lose energy by...
Dealing with sudden or abrupt change
Being required to socialize, to deal with emotionally charged situations, and to disclose personal information
Lacking the time to process information or to evaluate consequences
Being criticized by people who don't understand the situation
Working in a system that lacks quality control or safety regulations
They say that no one is typically only one personality type, but rather a combination of several. I know which I fit under... I believe to anyway. Mine is A - multitask w/ some issues with time B - imaginative and self analyze to the point of detriment. As for C, I just don't like being criticized by people who don't know what they are talking about.
In my brief research, I also found hints how to get along with those of different types. I should have read such information about A & C personalities earlier in life.
So, are B's the only ones that think they have feelings or attempt to deal with them? Gee, that's great. :-(
Which are you? I know it's not the Myers Briggs, but I think everyone can take a stab to see where their traits lie. Or, just take the Myers - Briggs test.
Let me copy some info for you;
Type A personality -
Insatiable desire to achieve their goals
Strong willingness to compete in all situations
Strong desire for recognition and advancement
Desire to multitask under time constraints
Above average mental and physical alertness
Have limitless problems with time. Irritable, restless with other's pace, high impatience at having to wait for someone, rage at having to wait in line, detests wasting time, drives over the speed limit, evades red lights, is 'hard on equipment,' always underestimates the time a job will take.
Have esteem issues, as they donÂ’t base their value on solid ground but rather on meeting standards. They value themselves and what they do by money. They spend or give money as a way of showing love or affection. In relationships there is a medium of exchange and of acceptance with others and it is money.
Is a perfectionist and of low self esteem. Getting dirty makes them feel cheap and worthless. They need neat surroundings.
Reluctant to share power/control/delegate, takes on more and more work, pursue more challenging tasks, plays hard as works, detests losing, plays to win even against children/friends, sets higher goals for self. challenging.concernedd with getting and having rather than being.
May deny emotion or not know they have any. They may feel guilty for having or showing emotions as this would take them away from the source of real value for them which is to meet standards like a perfectly performing machine.
Recreation only with friends from work better communication at work than at home organized hobbies work as a substitute for intimate contacts. Reading is all work related. Work late more than peers do. When awakened thoughts go to work. Live by deadlines and quotas. Creates unnecessary deadlines
Type B -
Relaxed
Likelier than a Type A personality to be patient
Creative and imaginative
Inclined to self-analyze
"B" type loves to party, travel and be part of groups, and is often the center of attention. They love excitement and are often impatient and demanding as a result of being a "high energy" type.
The "B" personality is as supportive of others as they are direct in their approach. Most people enjoy being around them or watching or listening to them "perform". It is very important for the "B" personality to be liked by others and can be easily hurt if they think someone doesn't care for them. They may take it very personally.
Type C -
The "C" thrives on details, accuracy and takes just about everything seriously. The "C" doesn't like "hype", rather, they want facts...Information from which they can verify the details and make a decision. They are very consistent in everything they do because everything has an order or procedure; thus they can be predictable at times and often very dependable, however, don't expect them to make a decision when YOU want it, as it will only come after THEY have checked all the facts and are satisfied that everything is correct.
They are deep, thoughtful and usually very sensitive. They enjoy know how and why things are the way they are rather than taking anything at face value.
You want to be right.
You research every aspect of a situation and consider every eventuality before making a decision.
You value your reputation for being accurate and logical.
You like systems and procedures that produce predictable and consistent outcomes.
You look for what could go wrong.
You read the fine print. You are a stickler for detail.
You prefer to work alone.
You have very high standards, especially for yourself. You can be a perfectionist.
Energized by...
Being right
Having access to information and data
Having time to investigate the problem, formulate a plan, and carry it through to completion
Being dealt with in a reserved, business-like manner
Being recognized and rewarded for specific accomplishments
Lose energy by...
Dealing with sudden or abrupt change
Being required to socialize, to deal with emotionally charged situations, and to disclose personal information
Lacking the time to process information or to evaluate consequences
Being criticized by people who don't understand the situation
Working in a system that lacks quality control or safety regulations
They say that no one is typically only one personality type, but rather a combination of several. I know which I fit under... I believe to anyway. Mine is A - multitask w/ some issues with time B - imaginative and self analyze to the point of detriment. As for C, I just don't like being criticized by people who don't know what they are talking about.
In my brief research, I also found hints how to get along with those of different types. I should have read such information about A & C personalities earlier in life.
So, are B's the only ones that think they have feelings or attempt to deal with them? Gee, that's great. :-(
Which are you? I know it's not the Myers Briggs, but I think everyone can take a stab to see where their traits lie. Or, just take the Myers - Briggs test.
Truth? You can't handle the Truth.
Ever felt like this is how people treat you. I sure have. Granted sometimes, it's claused under the "what's best for the other person", but even then, the truth can be stated gently. For example, the girl question of " How does this look?" Yeah, a trap from many, but if it looks bad, a true friend will say something to the effect of "I've seen you look better in other things" although a, "You look like a purple heifer" may be more appropriate. I know that there are times or topics that are hard to broach, but honesty, even second hand if necessary, is better than dishonesty or avoidance.
I remember a guy who was interested in me in college. We had a great time together - playing tennis, hanging out. I knew he was interested, but didn't know the extent. It never came up, so I didn't think it was that crucial a topic. Although he was a "really" great guy, he was a smoker. Besides, I didn't know him well enough to be super attracted to him. Even if I had, the smoking thing would have been a _huge_ obstacle. Anyway, we were headed for summer break and we had just performed in an ensemble for the commencement ceremony. I was leaving with my horn buddies (including 2 males) for something to eat and this guy came up to wish me a good summer. Nice enough gesture, but as I was turning to leave, he must have going in for a kiss and got my ear. Uh, awkward. My friends just stood and stared. I, caught off guard and a little grossed out, said, "bye" and left. Didn't quite know what to do with that and we never ended up talking about it. I saw him the fall I returned and things were a little weird. I felt terrible. Although I wanted to talk about it, and even apologize for my part in it, I didn't want to revisit something he didn't. Why, at the time didn't he just ask or say he was interested? I wouldn't have avoided him, but I could have saved him a little embarrassment and told him I wasn't into him that way.
And what about the people who you ask to do something and are "never" available or never just tell you they aren't available? Ok, so telling someone you don't want to spend time with them is sort of like smacking them in the face, but once the smack is delivered, it's an all clear, right? Perhaps subtlety, like, "No, I'm not available to do something and probably won't be for a long time" is ok, but still a little vague. Adding in, "spending time with you is not a priority to me" may clear that up. Another possibility is, "No, I'd rather not, and I think I'll feel like that for a while". At least that doesn't offer a hope that the unavailability is likely to change anytime soon. I personally think, if one has courtesy, both deserve an explanation, although the speaker would probably need some cahones to say the truth. Because running and hiding from someone makes them feel so much better than saying, " Don't want to hang out with you. Sorry." Don't think so.
This was an article in Dear Margo ( great, I'm now reduced to reading 'Dear Margo)
> DEAR MARGO: I need your help! I have a friend I've known for about 10 years. We e-mail almost every day and get together > about once a month. The problem is, my friend is an A-type personality narcissist, and I am growing tired of her.
> Everything that is said or done has become a contest as to who is smarter/better (I am corrected on my e-mail spelling);
> she beats issues into the ground to make sure she has the last word. She is late to our get-togethers except when she
> comes to my house, and then she ignores my length of stay requests (comes early, leaves late).
> She's started to be rude and condescending, complains about everything in her life and gossips to no end. She just takes
> too much energy, and I no longer enjoy her company and wish no further contact with her. My problem: If I tell her all this, > she will deny everything and attack me.
> I simply want to go away quietly, never to have our paths cross again. If I am vague, she will hunt me down to find out why. > I don't want to be rude or mean, I just want to end the friendship. -- HAD ENOUGH
> DEAR HAD: My dear, in this situation, you do not offer reasons. Just go with the old dictum: never explain, never complain. > It is hard to imagine she was like this from the beginning, else why would you have liked her? Let us just chalk it up to
> aging badly.
> Stop with the e-mails and making dates. If she asks why, tell her you have just become very busy. If she hounds you for a > reason, simply say her behavior has started to annoy you. Odds are that she will never speak to you again.
(Perhaps this person is writing about me? Though a narcissistic thought, I sure hope they aren't. Type A narcissist? Nope, looked it up and although I have developed some type A tendencies in a few areas, I am definitely a more type B person. Narcissist? I'd have to agree that I can be on occasion. I hope not too often. If it's really bad, I wish someone would say something)
Old dictum my ass !!! Is this sound advice? A friend you've known for 10 years has started to annoy you. Uh, there's a shocker. Welcome to life. I think it might have been better to express the complaints earlier rather than right before ending the friendship. The friendship must not mean all that much. There's 10 years wasted. If you tell your friend all that is bugging you and they deny it and attack you, uh, case proven. Even if they don't agree, a true friend should hear you out and maybe even apologize. If no changes are conceded upon, you end the friendship with no dirty laundry. Shoot, most people who have been dating for just a couple months give more courtesy than the "very busy" crap. And if they don't, well, they often inherit an unfavorable nickname.
"If I am vague, she will hunt me down to find out why" Um, then don't be vague. It's not rude to be honest. It may feel mean, but it's no crueler than lying to avoid a conflict. The last sentence Margo offers, I feel is probably the best one, although still cold. If needed, I'd run with it. Besides, an A type narcissist can't be to blame so, right there, by calling one in the wrong, that may end the friendship with that. This can be a problem if the person stating complaint is a Type C personality, because then, the conflict makes sense and so does the desire not to confront it.
I can't believe this advice. I hope if the person took it, the coin never turns so that they are on the other side.
Sure. ALL relationships are hard. Maybe sometimes just too hard. But if people could just be honest, many feelings and much energy could be spared and focused on other things rather than wasted on ones that were hoped to be fruitful, aren't so, and never will be.
When has knowing the truth _really_ hurt someone in the long term? More than believing a lie?
Just tell the freakin' truth !!!!!!!!
I remember a guy who was interested in me in college. We had a great time together - playing tennis, hanging out. I knew he was interested, but didn't know the extent. It never came up, so I didn't think it was that crucial a topic. Although he was a "really" great guy, he was a smoker. Besides, I didn't know him well enough to be super attracted to him. Even if I had, the smoking thing would have been a _huge_ obstacle. Anyway, we were headed for summer break and we had just performed in an ensemble for the commencement ceremony. I was leaving with my horn buddies (including 2 males) for something to eat and this guy came up to wish me a good summer. Nice enough gesture, but as I was turning to leave, he must have going in for a kiss and got my ear. Uh, awkward. My friends just stood and stared. I, caught off guard and a little grossed out, said, "bye" and left. Didn't quite know what to do with that and we never ended up talking about it. I saw him the fall I returned and things were a little weird. I felt terrible. Although I wanted to talk about it, and even apologize for my part in it, I didn't want to revisit something he didn't. Why, at the time didn't he just ask or say he was interested? I wouldn't have avoided him, but I could have saved him a little embarrassment and told him I wasn't into him that way.
And what about the people who you ask to do something and are "never" available or never just tell you they aren't available? Ok, so telling someone you don't want to spend time with them is sort of like smacking them in the face, but once the smack is delivered, it's an all clear, right? Perhaps subtlety, like, "No, I'm not available to do something and probably won't be for a long time" is ok, but still a little vague. Adding in, "spending time with you is not a priority to me" may clear that up. Another possibility is, "No, I'd rather not, and I think I'll feel like that for a while". At least that doesn't offer a hope that the unavailability is likely to change anytime soon. I personally think, if one has courtesy, both deserve an explanation, although the speaker would probably need some cahones to say the truth. Because running and hiding from someone makes them feel so much better than saying, " Don't want to hang out with you. Sorry." Don't think so.
This was an article in Dear Margo ( great, I'm now reduced to reading 'Dear Margo)
> DEAR MARGO: I need your help! I have a friend I've known for about 10 years. We e-mail almost every day and get together > about once a month. The problem is, my friend is an A-type personality narcissist, and I am growing tired of her.
> Everything that is said or done has become a contest as to who is smarter/better (I am corrected on my e-mail spelling);
> she beats issues into the ground to make sure she has the last word. She is late to our get-togethers except when she
> comes to my house, and then she ignores my length of stay requests (comes early, leaves late).
> She's started to be rude and condescending, complains about everything in her life and gossips to no end. She just takes
> too much energy, and I no longer enjoy her company and wish no further contact with her. My problem: If I tell her all this, > she will deny everything and attack me.
> I simply want to go away quietly, never to have our paths cross again. If I am vague, she will hunt me down to find out why. > I don't want to be rude or mean, I just want to end the friendship. -- HAD ENOUGH
> DEAR HAD: My dear, in this situation, you do not offer reasons. Just go with the old dictum: never explain, never complain. > It is hard to imagine she was like this from the beginning, else why would you have liked her? Let us just chalk it up to
> aging badly.
> Stop with the e-mails and making dates. If she asks why, tell her you have just become very busy. If she hounds you for a > reason, simply say her behavior has started to annoy you. Odds are that she will never speak to you again.
(Perhaps this person is writing about me? Though a narcissistic thought, I sure hope they aren't. Type A narcissist? Nope, looked it up and although I have developed some type A tendencies in a few areas, I am definitely a more type B person. Narcissist? I'd have to agree that I can be on occasion. I hope not too often. If it's really bad, I wish someone would say something)
Old dictum my ass !!! Is this sound advice? A friend you've known for 10 years has started to annoy you. Uh, there's a shocker. Welcome to life. I think it might have been better to express the complaints earlier rather than right before ending the friendship. The friendship must not mean all that much. There's 10 years wasted. If you tell your friend all that is bugging you and they deny it and attack you, uh, case proven. Even if they don't agree, a true friend should hear you out and maybe even apologize. If no changes are conceded upon, you end the friendship with no dirty laundry. Shoot, most people who have been dating for just a couple months give more courtesy than the "very busy" crap. And if they don't, well, they often inherit an unfavorable nickname.
"If I am vague, she will hunt me down to find out why" Um, then don't be vague. It's not rude to be honest. It may feel mean, but it's no crueler than lying to avoid a conflict. The last sentence Margo offers, I feel is probably the best one, although still cold. If needed, I'd run with it. Besides, an A type narcissist can't be to blame so, right there, by calling one in the wrong, that may end the friendship with that. This can be a problem if the person stating complaint is a Type C personality, because then, the conflict makes sense and so does the desire not to confront it.
I can't believe this advice. I hope if the person took it, the coin never turns so that they are on the other side.
Sure. ALL relationships are hard. Maybe sometimes just too hard. But if people could just be honest, many feelings and much energy could be spared and focused on other things rather than wasted on ones that were hoped to be fruitful, aren't so, and never will be.
When has knowing the truth _really_ hurt someone in the long term? More than believing a lie?
Just tell the freakin' truth !!!!!!!!
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Whatever you decide, make sure that you can live with the consequences
Ah, my dad. Possibly one of the quietest men in my life (unless sharing a humorous anecdote from work, or cursing a repair that is proceeding poorly) offers some of the best words of wisdom. This quote was made over 6 years ago when I was pregnant with my son and was in reference to several situations at the time. I find myself referring to it once again.
I am about to experience "a change in situation" as it is said obscurely. So far, that fact is neither of great concern or relief, which in itself is a little troubling. I was hoping for a strong internal reaction one way or the other. Regardless, that as of itself is not what leads me to think upon my dad's pearls of wisdom, but rather a facet of it.
One of the decisions that currently face me is of where to live. There are so many options and seemingly none ideal. The where to live decision sits totally on my shoulders and that is ok - almost preferred. The decision of whether to buy or rent also sits on my shoulders and offers a little more weight. Once again, I find myself looking at rental homes and apartments, and homes available for purchase. Now though, I am caught between the considerations of affordablity, commitment, and waste.
Can I afford a home? Depending on the purchase price, maybe. The first year in the new place, I think would be the worst financially, but after that ( and after income taxes) I think I'd be fine. But that all depends if what I can afford is close to what I want or am willing to live in. (Note - I'm not looking for a $1.2 million home for $200,000 or anything like that, but I don't want to buy a $170,000 "fixer-upper" for $145,000 when I am not anything close to a fixer) I saw one today with some major plusses and some middle of the road minuses. Do I want to get into the market with something like this and stay there for five years in the hopes to be able to "upgrade"? Do I do it knowing that for 1 full calendar year, there will be no new anything because of the purchase? I'm not sure. Part depends how much time and $$ would be necessary above and beyond maintaining it. Part depends on if it's a "too good to be true offer" since I'm still a few months out from truly being independant and presently, a down payment would be a minor issue. Would I rather have a year or two to place some $$$ aside for a down payment to lower the monthly commitment? Uh, yeah, but it's a "buyer's" market. But what about if you're a buyer w/ little money? Perhaps then it is a "lookers" market instead.
Buy and take a huge risk .......or rent and give away at least 2/3 of what could be going to my own equity. Then again, the down payment isn't even comparable, the apartments are maintanence free, have some pretty spiffy amenties, and would be available as long as I needed or could afford them. Here sits another quagmire - If I wanted to rent something really affordable ( ie. cheap) and pocket a good deal of money for a year, I'd have to look at places that are "majorly" outdated or small and in some cases located in less than ideal areas. When I consider the importance of having my son reside with me a good deal of time, this is unacceptable. But, if I look at the places he and I could coexist comfortably, that savings heap dimishes pretty signifigantly. Will renting force my way out of being able to buy? I watch and hear about the East coast market and it makes me fearful.
And rent to own?? I don't even know how to consider that yet.
I only hope that a strong viable option presents itself to me when the time of decision comes. When that time is, I don't know either. It could be now.
I know that I am accountable to this one and that's ok. It's not making a wise decision and the consequences that might face me of which I am scared. Everytime my thoughts sit here, my dad's voice rings in my head...."Whatever you decide, just make sure that you can live your life with the consequences". What if you aren't sure of the consequences ?
Gee, thanks dad.... Why didn't you send me to Vo-tech instead ???
I am about to experience "a change in situation" as it is said obscurely. So far, that fact is neither of great concern or relief, which in itself is a little troubling. I was hoping for a strong internal reaction one way or the other. Regardless, that as of itself is not what leads me to think upon my dad's pearls of wisdom, but rather a facet of it.
One of the decisions that currently face me is of where to live. There are so many options and seemingly none ideal. The where to live decision sits totally on my shoulders and that is ok - almost preferred. The decision of whether to buy or rent also sits on my shoulders and offers a little more weight. Once again, I find myself looking at rental homes and apartments, and homes available for purchase. Now though, I am caught between the considerations of affordablity, commitment, and waste.
Can I afford a home? Depending on the purchase price, maybe. The first year in the new place, I think would be the worst financially, but after that ( and after income taxes) I think I'd be fine. But that all depends if what I can afford is close to what I want or am willing to live in. (Note - I'm not looking for a $1.2 million home for $200,000 or anything like that, but I don't want to buy a $170,000 "fixer-upper" for $145,000 when I am not anything close to a fixer) I saw one today with some major plusses and some middle of the road minuses. Do I want to get into the market with something like this and stay there for five years in the hopes to be able to "upgrade"? Do I do it knowing that for 1 full calendar year, there will be no new anything because of the purchase? I'm not sure. Part depends how much time and $$ would be necessary above and beyond maintaining it. Part depends on if it's a "too good to be true offer" since I'm still a few months out from truly being independant and presently, a down payment would be a minor issue. Would I rather have a year or two to place some $$$ aside for a down payment to lower the monthly commitment? Uh, yeah, but it's a "buyer's" market. But what about if you're a buyer w/ little money? Perhaps then it is a "lookers" market instead.
Buy and take a huge risk .......or rent and give away at least 2/3 of what could be going to my own equity. Then again, the down payment isn't even comparable, the apartments are maintanence free, have some pretty spiffy amenties, and would be available as long as I needed or could afford them. Here sits another quagmire - If I wanted to rent something really affordable ( ie. cheap) and pocket a good deal of money for a year, I'd have to look at places that are "majorly" outdated or small and in some cases located in less than ideal areas. When I consider the importance of having my son reside with me a good deal of time, this is unacceptable. But, if I look at the places he and I could coexist comfortably, that savings heap dimishes pretty signifigantly. Will renting force my way out of being able to buy? I watch and hear about the East coast market and it makes me fearful.
And rent to own?? I don't even know how to consider that yet.
I only hope that a strong viable option presents itself to me when the time of decision comes. When that time is, I don't know either. It could be now.
I know that I am accountable to this one and that's ok. It's not making a wise decision and the consequences that might face me of which I am scared. Everytime my thoughts sit here, my dad's voice rings in my head...."Whatever you decide, just make sure that you can live your life with the consequences". What if you aren't sure of the consequences ?
Gee, thanks dad.... Why didn't you send me to Vo-tech instead ???
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Candor of children
My friend sent me an email containing pictures of some written prayers from little children. Even non religious folk may get a kick out of kids... being kids. I wish adults were this funny;
"Dear God,
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't you just keep the one's you have now?" - Jane
"Dear God,
In Bible times did people really talk that fancy?" - Jennifer
"Dear God,
Thank you for the baby brother but what I prayed for was a puppy" - Joyce
"Dear God,
I bet it is very hard for you to love all of everybody in the world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it" - Nan
"Dear God,
Please put a-nother Holiday between Christmas and Easter. There's nothing good in there now" - Ginny
"Dear God,
if we come back as something please don't let me be Jennifer Horton because I hate her" - Denise
" We read that Thos. Edison made light. But in Sun, school they said you did it. So I bet he stoled your idea." - Donna
"Dear God,
Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother." - Larry
By the way, who delivers mail to God? Can you send that Priority? Deep thoughts.........
"Dear God,
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't you just keep the one's you have now?" - Jane
"Dear God,
In Bible times did people really talk that fancy?" - Jennifer
"Dear God,
Thank you for the baby brother but what I prayed for was a puppy" - Joyce
"Dear God,
I bet it is very hard for you to love all of everybody in the world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it" - Nan
"Dear God,
Please put a-nother Holiday between Christmas and Easter. There's nothing good in there now" - Ginny
"Dear God,
if we come back as something please don't let me be Jennifer Horton because I hate her" - Denise
" We read that Thos. Edison made light. But in Sun, school they said you did it. So I bet he stoled your idea." - Donna
"Dear God,
Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother." - Larry
By the way, who delivers mail to God? Can you send that Priority? Deep thoughts.........
#1 - Tuesday -the BAND wagon
Let me begin by saying the snow dance wasn't a total wash out..... we had a 2 hour delay. :-) Here's the pro and con: Pro - we had a two hour delay AND got to wear jeans because of it. ( when you have a work dress code, jeans are a big deal) Con - uh, the roads were still ice covered at 9am and rather treacherous to drive. ( of course here I think the roads were clearer a little after 10)
Better some than none, I guess.
The best part of today came in my classes. My job can be very tedious as many times it entails saying the same concept 30 times in twenty different ways hoping for a lightbulb or two to go off. The hard part for the students is that they MUST achieve some sort of mastery of their individual part before a group rehearsal is truly successful. I often return to the fact that this separates musicians from sports players on occasion. When one person can throw three pointers and another can't, the player who can, his performance is not affected by the one who cannot - provided the less successful one doesn't have the ball all the time. A miss by a sports player does not in and of itself affect the performance of the others. Granted it may effect the end score. However. sometimes one err can have great affects - like a doubles tennis team where one player constantly misses the ball. The other player themself is not affected, but their performance is. But unlike sports, musicians aren't usually benched..... just fired.
Likewise in class, if you get A's and the person sitting to your right gets F's, your personal performance is not affected at all.
With musicians, if 3 of five players are playing something perfectly and two are not, the entire section is weaker because of it AT that point in time. Depending on the weakness, the 2 can literally destroy the work and success of the other 3. Musicians are very dependent on one another while still needing to have a great deal of self sufficiency. In a duet, the two need to play accurately, in time, and in tune, even though they are often playing very separate parts. The same is true, if not more so, in a successful large ensemble.
How do folks accomplish this feat? There are many facets to that, but one of the primary ones is listening. Listening to style, pitch, phrasing, balance. etc. TODAY, even the young junior highers were playing well AND listening.. and loving the product. They could hear that they sounded good and enjoyed the product of their efforts. In the senior high, their is an ensemble working on a piece designed for a more experienced ensemble almost double their size. Regardless, they put themselves to the grind stone and were notably excited to hear what they created. WHAT "THEY" CREATED!!!! They weren't note machines, they were musicians, communicating with each other and to others using sound. Sometimes it's like a playing a movie soundtrack, but you don't always know or agree on the pictures that accompany it, just the emotion they are reflecting. I know that sounds so "fru-fru" but it is true and an experience unlike many others. But they were excited and loving to play. It is such a rush to see when folks get the rewards that are sometimes so painful and time consuming to achieve.
To quote a line from " A League of Their Own" - "If it wasn't hard everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great." That applies to many things in life, but isn't that the truth? The things most enjoyed were the ones you had to work your ass off to get.... or maintain.
These are the days that remind me why I am a "band enthusiast" ( thanks Bobby !!!!) Great day !!!!
Better some than none, I guess.
The best part of today came in my classes. My job can be very tedious as many times it entails saying the same concept 30 times in twenty different ways hoping for a lightbulb or two to go off. The hard part for the students is that they MUST achieve some sort of mastery of their individual part before a group rehearsal is truly successful. I often return to the fact that this separates musicians from sports players on occasion. When one person can throw three pointers and another can't, the player who can, his performance is not affected by the one who cannot - provided the less successful one doesn't have the ball all the time. A miss by a sports player does not in and of itself affect the performance of the others. Granted it may effect the end score. However. sometimes one err can have great affects - like a doubles tennis team where one player constantly misses the ball. The other player themself is not affected, but their performance is. But unlike sports, musicians aren't usually benched..... just fired.
Likewise in class, if you get A's and the person sitting to your right gets F's, your personal performance is not affected at all.
With musicians, if 3 of five players are playing something perfectly and two are not, the entire section is weaker because of it AT that point in time. Depending on the weakness, the 2 can literally destroy the work and success of the other 3. Musicians are very dependent on one another while still needing to have a great deal of self sufficiency. In a duet, the two need to play accurately, in time, and in tune, even though they are often playing very separate parts. The same is true, if not more so, in a successful large ensemble.
How do folks accomplish this feat? There are many facets to that, but one of the primary ones is listening. Listening to style, pitch, phrasing, balance. etc. TODAY, even the young junior highers were playing well AND listening.. and loving the product. They could hear that they sounded good and enjoyed the product of their efforts. In the senior high, their is an ensemble working on a piece designed for a more experienced ensemble almost double their size. Regardless, they put themselves to the grind stone and were notably excited to hear what they created. WHAT "THEY" CREATED!!!! They weren't note machines, they were musicians, communicating with each other and to others using sound. Sometimes it's like a playing a movie soundtrack, but you don't always know or agree on the pictures that accompany it, just the emotion they are reflecting. I know that sounds so "fru-fru" but it is true and an experience unlike many others. But they were excited and loving to play. It is such a rush to see when folks get the rewards that are sometimes so painful and time consuming to achieve.
To quote a line from " A League of Their Own" - "If it wasn't hard everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great." That applies to many things in life, but isn't that the truth? The things most enjoyed were the ones you had to work your ass off to get.... or maintain.
These are the days that remind me why I am a "band enthusiast" ( thanks Bobby !!!!) Great day !!!!
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