Europe. More accurately, UK, France, Switzerland, Austria, Italy, and Germany. I can't even attempt to express how I feel about this. Even thought I have taken this trip before, just being there makes me feel....scholarly, and perhaps a little more worldly, in the good way. I do wish I could live over there, even if just for a few months. I'd actually love for my son to attend school over there for a while. I think being anywhere other than north America just makes the world feel smaller and perhaps in a way more real. The last time I took this trip, I remember thinking
how old, or rather how historical Britain was as we drove through parts of London having prewar and post war architecture side by side. France was remarkably historical, since they sold out to the Nazis in order to remain untouched. I guess what became even more clear was how young the USA is.
I went to DC shortly thereafter and realized how much of France is there, in the buildings and even just the road design. I always thought that being on the Mall in DC was like a time portal, as that was the mall so many leaders looked upon and walked on prior. Europe just amplifies that feeling 20 fold. How can you not be inspired by justp being where such beautiful art, architecture, and the ghosts of great people are?
That being said, the yin to that Yang is the fact that I am not bi or in any way multi lingual. Here, that's neither here nor there. It's most annoying when you can't tell whether the manicurist or the Spanish restaurant folks are talking about you. There, it really makes me feel uneducated. Almost everyone speaks more than one language.
Even as I type this on this idiotic smart phone, I think one of the greatest attractions is to a life of simpler times. Maybe not nicer of more convenient, but simpler.
And I best stop here before this phone flies through the window.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Monday, June 11, 2012
Is it right to write?
Ah the usual time lapse. Time to begin my summer ramblings.
I have reached that time of year where I again feel like I have a life that is mostly my own instead of being lent to me from work. This is the time where I reorganize the house, find the floor that I lost sometime after January, watch more movies than healthy, and sleep to my heart's content. In this organizational frenzy I collect bags and bags of things to be given away, things I had thought lost, and forgotten things.
When I lived on the east coast I was not working full time and I loved to send cards - birthday, anniversary, Mother's Day, Father's Day, funny greetings, brief hellos, etc. I found the box in which I would collect these cards so that I had them to send at a moment's notice - and purchase them when on sale. Be it known that now I cringe at the necessity to purchase a card. $4-$5 for something that will be acknowledge for usually no more than a week and then disposed. I'd rather give the recipient cash or take them for a drink than spend that much money on something so...... disposable. But, I do miss the hand written sentiment.
Do you remember in school when you might relish or fear the thoughts that were passed on notes in the classroom? How you'd love to see the "He likes you" or "Want to meet after school" or "I think you're cute" or fear the "you stink" or "you're mean" or "he doesn't like you". Did you get birthday cards from family in your childhood? I did. Now, we used to always, pettily look for the cash within it, but it was so nice to get the cards too. College - ah, that was the era of writing for me. When I transferred schools, I used to keep in touch via letters containing the news of the time - all the good gossip. We did what Facebook and email are used for today. We never wasted postage on the sentiments on Twitter though. Hehehe, can you imagine that? Getting a letter that says " At the store. Out of Red Bull". That idea cracks me up personally.
But, now that I get to sit and think for a minute, and I sit next to these 3 small rubbermaid containers of stationary and cards, I feel a pang of guilt. When did life get so busy that you can't sit to write someone a brief hello or a statement of missing their presence? When did life get so petty or expensive that the postage for said letter trumps the personalness of writing it? Or have we all become so self protected that emails and Facebook keep things at arms length since it is technology and not from our own hand and meant for the world - or cyberspace?
I love stationary. I love the colors. I love cards - mostly the funny ones, but also the sentimental ones from time to time. I miss them, yet I know come late August I will feel them a burden more than a blessing.
I can't wait to go to Europe!! I can, as when I return that means that half my summer will be over, but I can't as it makes me need to write. My cell phone doesn't work in Europe and, if I manage to get one to use over there, it will be unGodly expensive to use often, so postcards and letters are the best way to communicate. Now, many of the letters written in the last 5 days won't even get to the states before I do, but hopefully the postage stamp will make up for that. Ahhhh, can't wait !!
If you want a letter or postcard, just let me know.I'll send you one. I don't mind the to-do list there, as, how many times do you get mail from London, Paris, Switzerland, Austria or Germany??? If you do get mail from those locals often, well good for you. The most exotic place I get mail from is a little town in Western Maryland. Although you might consider that somewhat foreign, it doesn't count.
When did it become so wrong to write?????
I have reached that time of year where I again feel like I have a life that is mostly my own instead of being lent to me from work. This is the time where I reorganize the house, find the floor that I lost sometime after January, watch more movies than healthy, and sleep to my heart's content. In this organizational frenzy I collect bags and bags of things to be given away, things I had thought lost, and forgotten things.
When I lived on the east coast I was not working full time and I loved to send cards - birthday, anniversary, Mother's Day, Father's Day, funny greetings, brief hellos, etc. I found the box in which I would collect these cards so that I had them to send at a moment's notice - and purchase them when on sale. Be it known that now I cringe at the necessity to purchase a card. $4-$5 for something that will be acknowledge for usually no more than a week and then disposed. I'd rather give the recipient cash or take them for a drink than spend that much money on something so...... disposable. But, I do miss the hand written sentiment.
Do you remember in school when you might relish or fear the thoughts that were passed on notes in the classroom? How you'd love to see the "He likes you" or "Want to meet after school" or "I think you're cute" or fear the "you stink" or "you're mean" or "he doesn't like you". Did you get birthday cards from family in your childhood? I did. Now, we used to always, pettily look for the cash within it, but it was so nice to get the cards too. College - ah, that was the era of writing for me. When I transferred schools, I used to keep in touch via letters containing the news of the time - all the good gossip. We did what Facebook and email are used for today. We never wasted postage on the sentiments on Twitter though. Hehehe, can you imagine that? Getting a letter that says " At the store. Out of Red Bull". That idea cracks me up personally.
But, now that I get to sit and think for a minute, and I sit next to these 3 small rubbermaid containers of stationary and cards, I feel a pang of guilt. When did life get so busy that you can't sit to write someone a brief hello or a statement of missing their presence? When did life get so petty or expensive that the postage for said letter trumps the personalness of writing it? Or have we all become so self protected that emails and Facebook keep things at arms length since it is technology and not from our own hand and meant for the world - or cyberspace?
I love stationary. I love the colors. I love cards - mostly the funny ones, but also the sentimental ones from time to time. I miss them, yet I know come late August I will feel them a burden more than a blessing.
I can't wait to go to Europe!! I can, as when I return that means that half my summer will be over, but I can't as it makes me need to write. My cell phone doesn't work in Europe and, if I manage to get one to use over there, it will be unGodly expensive to use often, so postcards and letters are the best way to communicate. Now, many of the letters written in the last 5 days won't even get to the states before I do, but hopefully the postage stamp will make up for that. Ahhhh, can't wait !!
If you want a letter or postcard, just let me know.I'll send you one. I don't mind the to-do list there, as, how many times do you get mail from London, Paris, Switzerland, Austria or Germany??? If you do get mail from those locals often, well good for you. The most exotic place I get mail from is a little town in Western Maryland. Although you might consider that somewhat foreign, it doesn't count.
When did it become so wrong to write?????
Sunday, April 01, 2012
Is it a bad thing
Is it a bad thing that one can take such great pleasure in getting a high scrabble score or beating a computer at cribbage? So maybe these things aren't life defining, but I do feel they have some impact on the general mood of the day. I should be worried, shouldn't I ?
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Dangerous discovery
By George, I think I figured it out.......adding posts via phone. I swear this phone may be the end of me. Thankfully its harder to write via phone, so I won't be staying up all hours writing the crap in my head. But I will day this, since I haven't been posting,once again my head, heart, stomach, are filled with so many things to say its overwhelming. Like that feeling when you're overloaded with home or house work and you simply don't know where to begin. Meh, I guess I'll try to either read and/ or sleep it off tonight. I'll just be content with my discovery. Yea me! ;-)
Friday, March 30, 2012
Peek a boo
Ok, it's been a while, but I have to share this....
Have you ever searched yourself on the internet? Your friends? Oh my goodness !!!! It is a little creepy.
First off, I never knew so much could be posted about a person. From Facebook links to comments or tags, to unknown of sites which provide your address and other information they say they can sell for a nominal fee, to a bunch of other random sites and things that pop up. And then there is all the inaccurate information, which honestly, makes me feel much better than seeing all the accurate stuff. Does anyone know how to manipulate the personal information that's out there???? Because I'm thinking I'd like in on that knowledge.
Ew. I feel like I need to take a shower..... but is there a camera there too??? Double ew.
This whole internet thing just got a whole lot creepier.
Have you ever searched yourself on the internet? Your friends? Oh my goodness !!!! It is a little creepy.
First off, I never knew so much could be posted about a person. From Facebook links to comments or tags, to unknown of sites which provide your address and other information they say they can sell for a nominal fee, to a bunch of other random sites and things that pop up. And then there is all the inaccurate information, which honestly, makes me feel much better than seeing all the accurate stuff. Does anyone know how to manipulate the personal information that's out there???? Because I'm thinking I'd like in on that knowledge.
Ew. I feel like I need to take a shower..... but is there a camera there too??? Double ew.
This whole internet thing just got a whole lot creepier.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Dreams
I don't believe a great deal in dream psycology. I just know when I have dreams, when I don't think I do and when I remember them. I tend to have the most vivid ones just when I am about to wake, which makes waking up even more unpleasant. Last night I had the most peculiar one. But it's funny, even as I try to recall it pieces go missing. Bizarre. So the recount won't exactly make sense or flow... maybe at all. Sorry 'bout that.
I'll spare too many details as they wouldn't make sence but, the crux of it was I was with a friend on the mid floor of a very fancy home while her husband, another male friend, and a female of unknown origin were in the basement. There was a pool outside the middle floor and I asked if I could swim laps. After swimming, I came out of the pool and my friend was very distraught about she and her husband's marrage. We talked for a while ( but this alone was weird because to my eye there is nothing wrong with the relationship in real life) and then somehow it came to my knowledge that my other friend and this female got together in some fashion - I guess. Even I can't remember the particulars there of how I would have assumed or found that infomation out as in the dream I never went downstairs - and I dreamed it. Anyway, in the dream I began to sob/ball/ become hysterical. And I mean hysterical. That uncontrollable crying when you can't breathe and you almost make yourself sick cry. I swear I felt the outcome of this one. Besides, when I did wake up, I was slightly short of breath. How disturbing !!!!
This sort of dream is a rarity for me, but all the same, slightly unerving. I'm sure you all have had deja vu right? I don't get it that often, but often it seems to refer back to something from one of these discouncerting dreams. It never flashes the ones where I actually like the outcome.
Again, I don't put great stock in this but all the same, ughh. There must be a disturbance in the force ;-)
Now, if life could put me in the situations of some dreams earlier in the week, I'd take it. Obviously Mr. Sandman and I are not on good terms.
I'll spare too many details as they wouldn't make sence but, the crux of it was I was with a friend on the mid floor of a very fancy home while her husband, another male friend, and a female of unknown origin were in the basement. There was a pool outside the middle floor and I asked if I could swim laps. After swimming, I came out of the pool and my friend was very distraught about she and her husband's marrage. We talked for a while ( but this alone was weird because to my eye there is nothing wrong with the relationship in real life) and then somehow it came to my knowledge that my other friend and this female got together in some fashion - I guess. Even I can't remember the particulars there of how I would have assumed or found that infomation out as in the dream I never went downstairs - and I dreamed it. Anyway, in the dream I began to sob/ball/ become hysterical. And I mean hysterical. That uncontrollable crying when you can't breathe and you almost make yourself sick cry. I swear I felt the outcome of this one. Besides, when I did wake up, I was slightly short of breath. How disturbing !!!!
This sort of dream is a rarity for me, but all the same, slightly unerving. I'm sure you all have had deja vu right? I don't get it that often, but often it seems to refer back to something from one of these discouncerting dreams. It never flashes the ones where I actually like the outcome.
Again, I don't put great stock in this but all the same, ughh. There must be a disturbance in the force ;-)
Now, if life could put me in the situations of some dreams earlier in the week, I'd take it. Obviously Mr. Sandman and I are not on good terms.
Colorado .... really?
Today was my trip to Gunnison and I was very much much looking forward to it, untill this freak little snow storm blew in and Monarch Pass has become more treacherous to pass and we have a snow day. Awesome. :-( The snow day is a perk, but very poorly timed I must say. With any luck, I try to make the trip tomorrow.
What a pisser.
But, humor from the honor band front. A new band joke from one of the conductors of the last honor band. You must read this in a British accent as the conductor who told it was British himself, " What do a conductor and a condom have in common?" " It's more fun without but safer with one". Hehehehe.
What a pisser.
But, humor from the honor band front. A new band joke from one of the conductors of the last honor band. You must read this in a British accent as the conductor who told it was British himself, " What do a conductor and a condom have in common?" " It's more fun without but safer with one". Hehehehe.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Honor bands commence
And now begins honor band season. This is the time I travel Thursday - Saturday with kids to various honor bands and see great conductors work to create great things with high school musicians.
This weekend, the wild, wonderful world of..... Pueblo "-( Ok, the location isn't stellar, but the kids and the groups will be great.) AND Timothy Reynish from the UK is coming to conduct one of the groups. I have few fetishes in my crazy existence, but a British accent is one of them. I told the kids, "Even if you're getting yelled at it's ok, because it will be in a British accent!!!" So very excited to meet the man and more so to speak with him ;-) !!!
Other than that, 2.5 days filled with teenagers, fellow band directors and music. Eh, 2 out of 3 ain't bad ;-). Just kidding. Looking forward to an inspiring ( and partially perspiring) weekend.
Next weekend is Gunnison. Haven't been there yet, so..... excited for a new CO location.
I feel like there is so much to say but too little time to share it/type it/ spell it. Ever get that??? Eh, if it sticks, I'll post it later, I guess.
Most days "Living the dream".... some days just "surviving/ enduring the nightmare" ;-)
This weekend, the wild, wonderful world of..... Pueblo "-( Ok, the location isn't stellar, but the kids and the groups will be great.) AND Timothy Reynish from the UK is coming to conduct one of the groups. I have few fetishes in my crazy existence, but a British accent is one of them. I told the kids, "Even if you're getting yelled at it's ok, because it will be in a British accent!!!" So very excited to meet the man and more so to speak with him ;-) !!!
Other than that, 2.5 days filled with teenagers, fellow band directors and music. Eh, 2 out of 3 ain't bad ;-). Just kidding. Looking forward to an inspiring ( and partially perspiring) weekend.
Next weekend is Gunnison. Haven't been there yet, so..... excited for a new CO location.
I feel like there is so much to say but too little time to share it/type it/ spell it. Ever get that??? Eh, if it sticks, I'll post it later, I guess.
Most days "Living the dream".... some days just "surviving/ enduring the nightmare" ;-)
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
That time of year
Ironically enough, I have nothing to say about Valentine's Day ;-) It's a good day. Probably better for those sharing it with other folks, but, meh, I have family and friends to share love with, so.... all good. :-)
A small funny that I shared with some folks earlier - I was joking with some of my high schoolers about it being "Singles awareness day" and the one said, " You know the acronym for that is SAD right?" I just laughed. Didn't want to ask which was worse celebrating "SAD" or "VD". Hmmmm.... ;-)
But all I have to say is that it's that time of season where there's no time.... for much of anything other than work. That's it.
So, "Goodnight Moon".
A small funny that I shared with some folks earlier - I was joking with some of my high schoolers about it being "Singles awareness day" and the one said, " You know the acronym for that is SAD right?" I just laughed. Didn't want to ask which was worse celebrating "SAD" or "VD". Hmmmm.... ;-)
But all I have to say is that it's that time of season where there's no time.... for much of anything other than work. That's it.
So, "Goodnight Moon".
Thursday, February 09, 2012
I needed that
Tonight was a great night. GREAT night. First of all my wind ensemble played really well. REALLY well. Secondly, we did this joint concert with a local brass band and they were INCREDIBLE !!! They sounded amazing and inspired my kids. They didn't even know the instruments could do some of those things. And, they are super nice people - one of my high schoolers told me so. ;-)
I got to lead the groups for the closing number and it was ( as another band student calls it) bandgasmic. ;-)
But then, they ( the brass band/ their director) invited me to go out and join them after the concert. I'm not super great at social events after school nights, but, as the high schooler said, "they are super nice people." I got to have a few beers and meet a kick ass trombone player ( kick ASS) who played in the Navy Band of DC - the band where my ex-husband played when I met him. So we had a small connection there. And I met the AFA band's former commanding officer - who my ex played under while we were married here. ( as you can see, we travel in rather small or let's say concentric circles - sometimes my married name can be a real asset in this business - he gave me that and my son, can't complain about that). It was so great to meet some new musicians and feel like I have known them all my life. A few weren't too bad on the eyes, which isn't a bad thing either. But all were very genuine people and a blessing to have met.
There are days I wonder about the whole music thing. Today was validation. Musicians have suffered since their inception, so there's no surprises there, and yet the music lives on and connects us all. I love the new acquaintances I met tonight - the people I met because of the common thread of music.
I needed that. That and the beer ;-)
Now, I need sleep and to be able to awake at 6am. Damn you Sam Adams !!!!
I got to lead the groups for the closing number and it was ( as another band student calls it) bandgasmic. ;-)
But then, they ( the brass band/ their director) invited me to go out and join them after the concert. I'm not super great at social events after school nights, but, as the high schooler said, "they are super nice people." I got to have a few beers and meet a kick ass trombone player ( kick ASS) who played in the Navy Band of DC - the band where my ex-husband played when I met him. So we had a small connection there. And I met the AFA band's former commanding officer - who my ex played under while we were married here. ( as you can see, we travel in rather small or let's say concentric circles - sometimes my married name can be a real asset in this business - he gave me that and my son, can't complain about that). It was so great to meet some new musicians and feel like I have known them all my life. A few weren't too bad on the eyes, which isn't a bad thing either. But all were very genuine people and a blessing to have met.
There are days I wonder about the whole music thing. Today was validation. Musicians have suffered since their inception, so there's no surprises there, and yet the music lives on and connects us all. I love the new acquaintances I met tonight - the people I met because of the common thread of music.
I needed that. That and the beer ;-)
Now, I need sleep and to be able to awake at 6am. Damn you Sam Adams !!!!
Saturday, February 04, 2012
What's your role?
In talking to a friend yesterday this came up. We were actually talking about teaching though ( imagine that) but I got to thinking that the question is relatively profound. What is your role? And can you accept that role, or the definition of that role changing.
As teachers at our school, we can sometimes be asked to cap a student - at a ceremony, place the graduation cap upon the students head as someone reads what you or another faculty member wrote about why that student is special or how we will remember them. Students pick their capper based upon who they feel had a significant impact on their journey to graduation. It's quite an honor really.
Well, my friend used to be asked by no less than 4 students, often more. Last year, I don't think she was asked at all, and she said she had a hard time with that. She was used to being regarded as a mentor to many of her students and took offense when not asked. She then said as she thought about it, she became more accepting of it, even though she may not like it. She said she reached this decision by accepting that her role has changed.
As teachers, the most simple mind would say that the teacher's job is to convey information relevant to their subject area. Ha !!! I wish that was all a teacher had to do. No.... that's not true. I just wish folks realized and recognized all a teacher must do. Impart information, guidance counsel, test monitor, creatively manage limited budget or resources, organize staff, act as parent and school liaison, observe and report mental health of students, and more I can't quantify now. In fact, of all teacher duties, I don't spend as much time teaching as I do on the other stuff - and that's true for most of us. Anyone can teach a subject. Very few can successfully teach kids.
But then, you feel yourself get caught in the throws of your role - what if someone doesn't ask you for your input at this meeting? What is someone doesn't involve you in the next big decision about the school, what if the students aren't wanting to take your class because it's too hard or "uncool", what if you have students taking your class simply because it is "cool" and don't care about the content of the class, what if great numbers of students don't regard you as the mentor you felt they did 2,5,10 years ago? Are you failing? Are you becoming ineffective? What do you do?
Well, she decided to find peace in the refocusing on the "why" you do what you are doing instead of the "how" your role is defined. Choices people make are theirs and theirs alone. Although you can influence them, you can't always assure how you are influencing them, as perspective and reception is as unique and individual as people themselves. By going back to the "why", you surrender the responsibilities or burden of the definition of your role and define your role by it's purpose instead. Celebrated success and reputation become ancillary instead of primary.
Like I said, pretty deep stuff.
We are in the registration window at school and this is the most depressing time of year for performing arts. We wait and see who sticks and who quits. That's really the crux of it. When we recruit beginners, that is the most exciting time because these are all new recruits in the pipeline. When older kids register, we watch the potential exodus. This is, in part, what prompted this discussion.
But, I think this can be applied in any profession or especially parenting. The role of the parent of an infant is very different than that of the teenager, which again changes when one is the parent of an adult. Although the title of parent never changes, the actual role or definition of the role does.
What about spouse? Or friend? Or a way 'out there' concept, individual purpose? I sometimes wonder what constitutes a mid life crisis and, in turn wonder if it isn't essentially a person's loss of ability to define or accept their role or purpose at a stage in life or the inability to accept that the role has changed from what it once was. Not sure.
I wonder how I will handle my son going to college - if he chooses to do so. I wonder what I will do, since life to this point has, in part, been directed by acting in a manner that is best for him. When he's on his own, I will have to re-strategize how I make some decisions and that's ok. Sometimes, I wish to be the mother of an infant again and I know again, decisions will have to be made on how to do that well. Other times, I resolve myself that the season for that has passed and it is time to plan for the next one. I wonder if I can successfully fit the role of girlfriend or wife. Sometimes, I wonder if I really want to make those compromises and sacrifices and other times, it's without a doubt that I'd like to and I'll fight to figure it out as I go. And, sometimes I wonder how hard one should work to be called into a role they think they want to have. Sometimes, I think we call people who do that - desperate.
But, to accept the roles as they come, I think in layman's terms, this concept is expressed as "roll with the punches".
But, spiritually sometimes people wonder what their purpose in life is. I think evaluating what one's role/ roles are, being content with them, and asking if we staying true to the "why" we are doing them IS necessary for contentment. Or, in that search, to discover that we are simply trying to make all fit into the marketed definitions of the "what's and how's" of our role's accepted definitions and not fighting for the virtue of them instead.
Former student Ben Johnson I am convinced was a genius. His graduation speech premise was "What are you doing?" I like to add the addendum, "WHY are you doing it?"
As teachers at our school, we can sometimes be asked to cap a student - at a ceremony, place the graduation cap upon the students head as someone reads what you or another faculty member wrote about why that student is special or how we will remember them. Students pick their capper based upon who they feel had a significant impact on their journey to graduation. It's quite an honor really.
Well, my friend used to be asked by no less than 4 students, often more. Last year, I don't think she was asked at all, and she said she had a hard time with that. She was used to being regarded as a mentor to many of her students and took offense when not asked. She then said as she thought about it, she became more accepting of it, even though she may not like it. She said she reached this decision by accepting that her role has changed.
As teachers, the most simple mind would say that the teacher's job is to convey information relevant to their subject area. Ha !!! I wish that was all a teacher had to do. No.... that's not true. I just wish folks realized and recognized all a teacher must do. Impart information, guidance counsel, test monitor, creatively manage limited budget or resources, organize staff, act as parent and school liaison, observe and report mental health of students, and more I can't quantify now. In fact, of all teacher duties, I don't spend as much time teaching as I do on the other stuff - and that's true for most of us. Anyone can teach a subject. Very few can successfully teach kids.
But then, you feel yourself get caught in the throws of your role - what if someone doesn't ask you for your input at this meeting? What is someone doesn't involve you in the next big decision about the school, what if the students aren't wanting to take your class because it's too hard or "uncool", what if you have students taking your class simply because it is "cool" and don't care about the content of the class, what if great numbers of students don't regard you as the mentor you felt they did 2,5,10 years ago? Are you failing? Are you becoming ineffective? What do you do?
Well, she decided to find peace in the refocusing on the "why" you do what you are doing instead of the "how" your role is defined. Choices people make are theirs and theirs alone. Although you can influence them, you can't always assure how you are influencing them, as perspective and reception is as unique and individual as people themselves. By going back to the "why", you surrender the responsibilities or burden of the definition of your role and define your role by it's purpose instead. Celebrated success and reputation become ancillary instead of primary.
Like I said, pretty deep stuff.
We are in the registration window at school and this is the most depressing time of year for performing arts. We wait and see who sticks and who quits. That's really the crux of it. When we recruit beginners, that is the most exciting time because these are all new recruits in the pipeline. When older kids register, we watch the potential exodus. This is, in part, what prompted this discussion.
But, I think this can be applied in any profession or especially parenting. The role of the parent of an infant is very different than that of the teenager, which again changes when one is the parent of an adult. Although the title of parent never changes, the actual role or definition of the role does.
What about spouse? Or friend? Or a way 'out there' concept, individual purpose? I sometimes wonder what constitutes a mid life crisis and, in turn wonder if it isn't essentially a person's loss of ability to define or accept their role or purpose at a stage in life or the inability to accept that the role has changed from what it once was. Not sure.
I wonder how I will handle my son going to college - if he chooses to do so. I wonder what I will do, since life to this point has, in part, been directed by acting in a manner that is best for him. When he's on his own, I will have to re-strategize how I make some decisions and that's ok. Sometimes, I wish to be the mother of an infant again and I know again, decisions will have to be made on how to do that well. Other times, I resolve myself that the season for that has passed and it is time to plan for the next one. I wonder if I can successfully fit the role of girlfriend or wife. Sometimes, I wonder if I really want to make those compromises and sacrifices and other times, it's without a doubt that I'd like to and I'll fight to figure it out as I go. And, sometimes I wonder how hard one should work to be called into a role they think they want to have. Sometimes, I think we call people who do that - desperate.
But, to accept the roles as they come, I think in layman's terms, this concept is expressed as "roll with the punches".
But, spiritually sometimes people wonder what their purpose in life is. I think evaluating what one's role/ roles are, being content with them, and asking if we staying true to the "why" we are doing them IS necessary for contentment. Or, in that search, to discover that we are simply trying to make all fit into the marketed definitions of the "what's and how's" of our role's accepted definitions and not fighting for the virtue of them instead.
Former student Ben Johnson I am convinced was a genius. His graduation speech premise was "What are you doing?" I like to add the addendum, "WHY are you doing it?"
Friday, February 03, 2012
Thank you magic internet
Well, I wished for snow and I got it. I wished for a snow day and I received that too.
Now, magic internet, how about a million dollars???? ;-)
Now, magic internet, how about a million dollars???? ;-)
Wednesday, February 01, 2012
Last thought on the day
Totally unrelated...
This is February first and here's what I think today,
Goodbye's aren't necessary until someone passes away. I'll stick with "see you later" 's.
And....... there's no reason to bolt a door on your own that you wish to stay open or at least unlocked. If it closes itself, fine. It the wind blows it shut, fine. And if someone else closes it, that's fine too.
Besides, just because that one door is unlocked, doesn't mean you have to limit yourself to travel only through that one door. You don't have to avoid it, but, you don't have to only travel that way either. Find and explore the other doors to travel through until you want to, and choose to go through "that" door or until someone beckons you from the other side. It's easier to see them when the door is open anyway, and far easier to let them in than when it's bolted shut. Who knows? You may meet someone who you've been hoping to see, or someone as a total surprise. But, I believe an open door is far more welcoming and less inhibiting than a shut, locked one. Besides, who wants to be locked up in their own house anyway???
Obscure enough???
Good.
It wasn't written for you anyway. No offense ;-)
This is February first and here's what I think today,
Goodbye's aren't necessary until someone passes away. I'll stick with "see you later" 's.
And....... there's no reason to bolt a door on your own that you wish to stay open or at least unlocked. If it closes itself, fine. It the wind blows it shut, fine. And if someone else closes it, that's fine too.
Besides, just because that one door is unlocked, doesn't mean you have to limit yourself to travel only through that one door. You don't have to avoid it, but, you don't have to only travel that way either. Find and explore the other doors to travel through until you want to, and choose to go through "that" door or until someone beckons you from the other side. It's easier to see them when the door is open anyway, and far easier to let them in than when it's bolted shut. Who knows? You may meet someone who you've been hoping to see, or someone as a total surprise. But, I believe an open door is far more welcoming and less inhibiting than a shut, locked one. Besides, who wants to be locked up in their own house anyway???
Obscure enough???
Good.
It wasn't written for you anyway. No offense ;-)
Read this.... what do you think??
Ah, so much to say here, but bedtime for bonzo.
But read this article. What do you think???
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/18/magazine/what-if-the-secret-to-success-is-failure.html?pagewanted=all
But read this article. What do you think???
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/18/magazine/what-if-the-secret-to-success-is-failure.html?pagewanted=all
Monday, January 30, 2012
Where's the snow???!!!
No time to think today, but there is always time to whine :-)
It has been warm for the last 2+ weeks here. And today, it's January 30th and 65 degrees in Colorado. COLORADO !!!!! Uh, this is not cool... Literally.
Now, I know the weather can be volatile here, but this is simply ridiculous. My son is wearing shorts, and I can't blame him.
So, here's my public request. I want snow !!! Either for the acknowledgment that it IS winter and to put my seasonal clock back into functionality, or that I do live in Colorado and not Alabama or Florida, and for the love of all that is holy, to be offered a freakin' snow day. But, WE NEED SNOW for a SNOW DAY !!!!
Uncool.
I may need to take a weekend trip into the mountains, just to remember where I live.
Now, when it's snowing in April, that too will be uncool.
Growl...........
It has been warm for the last 2+ weeks here. And today, it's January 30th and 65 degrees in Colorado. COLORADO !!!!! Uh, this is not cool... Literally.
Now, I know the weather can be volatile here, but this is simply ridiculous. My son is wearing shorts, and I can't blame him.
So, here's my public request. I want snow !!! Either for the acknowledgment that it IS winter and to put my seasonal clock back into functionality, or that I do live in Colorado and not Alabama or Florida, and for the love of all that is holy, to be offered a freakin' snow day. But, WE NEED SNOW for a SNOW DAY !!!!
Uncool.
I may need to take a weekend trip into the mountains, just to remember where I live.
Now, when it's snowing in April, that too will be uncool.
Growl...........
Saturday, January 28, 2012
'Bout time
Well, it's January 28th and I am finally getting to taking down Christmas decorations. 2 hours in and so far, so good. It's amazing how empty the place looks without the stuff but it's a relief to begin putting it all away. It's sad that decorating for the holidays can feel like such a pain and that putting everything away does too. Good thing I like the holidays or this would SO not be worth it. ;-)
But, no worries, the tree is still up. I LOVE Christmas trees and ornaments. I purchased a few when I was in Europe last time and you can bet I'll pick up a few more on this year's trip. The Swiss and Germans know how to make ornaments !!!! Someday, I want to spend the holidays over there... preferably not homeless or in a hostil but, beggars can't be choosy :-)
Well, I hope to at least get the ornaments off tonight and tomorrow morning and begin to wrap and store them immediately as evenings and weekends are booked, oh.... through the rest of month. Worst case, the ornaments will get put away and the tree will remain standing. Then, I'll hang hearts on the tree and call it a Valentine's tree. If that works, I'll just put some bunnies and eggs on strings too, in case April comes too fast. Shoot, then I'll just keep the tree up and put suns up for summer and leaves up for fall, pumpkins and ghosts for Halloween, Turkeys for Thanksgiving until next Christmas comes around. Hmmmm..... Brain child???
Here's hoping it doesn't get that bad.
Can you pay people to take down your trees???????
But, no worries, the tree is still up. I LOVE Christmas trees and ornaments. I purchased a few when I was in Europe last time and you can bet I'll pick up a few more on this year's trip. The Swiss and Germans know how to make ornaments !!!! Someday, I want to spend the holidays over there... preferably not homeless or in a hostil but, beggars can't be choosy :-)
Well, I hope to at least get the ornaments off tonight and tomorrow morning and begin to wrap and store them immediately as evenings and weekends are booked, oh.... through the rest of month. Worst case, the ornaments will get put away and the tree will remain standing. Then, I'll hang hearts on the tree and call it a Valentine's tree. If that works, I'll just put some bunnies and eggs on strings too, in case April comes too fast. Shoot, then I'll just keep the tree up and put suns up for summer and leaves up for fall, pumpkins and ghosts for Halloween, Turkeys for Thanksgiving until next Christmas comes around. Hmmmm..... Brain child???
Here's hoping it doesn't get that bad.
Can you pay people to take down your trees???????
Thursday, January 26, 2012
life needs a soundtrack....and an editor
Just a random entry today, as I break from one thing as I head into another. I do use this little blog thing to reflect. I'd use a non digital journal as I do like them, but sadly, I know I'd lose it. And there is something a little more personal ( good thing) and time consuming (bad thing) in the written word versus the typed one - in my opinion anyway.
But, as I read through my entries of late, I heard what I said. Whether I agree with myself varies day to day, but there are no "way out there" thoughts, just thoughts accurate to where I was the day I wrote it.
I find myself wanting a soundtrack. Do you ever do that? Find yourself somewhere and then think about a piece of music? At the top of Pikes Peak, on a hike, looking out from the balcony. This is why I love driving with the radio on. From Eminem, to Beethoven, to Lady Gaga and Rihanna to Nine inch Nails, it just lets you feel, whatever it is you are feeling a little more potently. Or maybe it just lets you share it. For whatever reason, it's cool ;-) I want some musical soundtracks to these entries or at least I think I do. I have read blogs with sound clips and they are impossible to read over the blaring, distorted sound track. So, I guess I'll provide my own mental soundtracks and make you all suffer without any. This gives you the freedom to choose your own.
But really, I wish I had an editor. Oh how it irritates me that I have misspelled a word or used the wrong 'there' or 'they're' or 'their'. I am college graduate darn it. And I still can't seem to spell and use proper syntax. Ughhh !!!!!
But I always argue that content is more valuable than context. All the same...... darn it !!!! ;-)
Back to work..........
( note - this work was revised 3 hours after writing it. Ugh !!!! But, perfection isn't a destination, but a journey...... right??? )
But, as I read through my entries of late, I heard what I said. Whether I agree with myself varies day to day, but there are no "way out there" thoughts, just thoughts accurate to where I was the day I wrote it.
I find myself wanting a soundtrack. Do you ever do that? Find yourself somewhere and then think about a piece of music? At the top of Pikes Peak, on a hike, looking out from the balcony. This is why I love driving with the radio on. From Eminem, to Beethoven, to Lady Gaga and Rihanna to Nine inch Nails, it just lets you feel, whatever it is you are feeling a little more potently. Or maybe it just lets you share it. For whatever reason, it's cool ;-) I want some musical soundtracks to these entries or at least I think I do. I have read blogs with sound clips and they are impossible to read over the blaring, distorted sound track. So, I guess I'll provide my own mental soundtracks and make you all suffer without any. This gives you the freedom to choose your own.
But really, I wish I had an editor. Oh how it irritates me that I have misspelled a word or used the wrong 'there' or 'they're' or 'their'. I am college graduate darn it. And I still can't seem to spell and use proper syntax. Ughhh !!!!!
But I always argue that content is more valuable than context. All the same...... darn it !!!! ;-)
Back to work..........
( note - this work was revised 3 hours after writing it. Ugh !!!! But, perfection isn't a destination, but a journey...... right??? )
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Home Depot - labyrinth of home stuff
It's amazing what a night's sleep can do for you. Fatigue does bad things to your brain ;-)
Let me share a sorta funny story - that happens almost everytime I go into Home Depot.
I'll begin by saying I love Home Depot and Lowe's. Sometimes it just makes me want to design and accessorize a house. I love all the doors, door handles, windows, carpets, refrigerators, stoves, fixtures, sinks, cabinets, etc. BUT, when you go in looking for a security peep hole for the front door and something to stick a ceramic tile to wood, a little different story. The only thing worse is looking for a single type of nut or screw. ( ok, if you're gonna take it there fine, but I'm not. I'll just chuckle instead)
I start by going to the info desk, asking about the peep hole, I get sent to doors. After about 7-10 minutes searching this HUGE area with wood doors, glass doors, sliding doors, etc. I see nothing...small. So, I ask someone else and they say "aisle 10". Uh, ok, but the aisle numbers aren't in the rear of the store where I was, so I wander....wander...wander, until I get a brain and head towards the front where the signs are. I find the aisle, and I see keys, smoke and C02 detectors and other things, but can't find the peep holes. Thankfully there was an associate working at the key place, which is in the same aisle ( now is the time to share, the handy, knowledgeable older - or younger - handy man is SUCH a comfort. There's something to be said for the "Little House on the Prairie - Michael Landon character" kinda guy. So if you don't have a man at home, borrow one from Home Depot ;-) )
I asked him where to find the peep holes and he points to this obscure point in the aisle where there are 4 varieties of peep hole. FOUR !!! In that gigunda aisle!!! I'm so glad he showed them to me and also helped me be sure that the one I selected would fit and would be appropriate. Then I asked him what I should use to adhere the ceramic tile ( these are my son's artwork from class) to the wooden frame they came with. He said silicone. Ok. Easy enough.....
NOT !!! Off to the caulking aisle. Who knew there are around 50 types of caulk and silicone? And.. is caulk silicone? I ran with no, but... ( shoulder shrug). So this attractive guy comes up and asks if I need help. Uh, yeah. I must have looked like an illeterate person looking at an aisle of library books. So I told him what I was looking for and he guesses silicone for bathroom. Good guess. We read the backs of the tubes and it looks good. So I start to head away and he goes, "Do you need a gun?" Not unless you steal from me or "things aren't that bad" I thought. But then I realized I did need a gun... a caulking gun. Sheesh !!! I should have spent a little more time with dad. He smiled at my stall. Then he found one that would work, but was cheap (I like him already) and I completed my run.
So I went in to the store thinking it would take 12-15 minutes. Yeah, right. 40 minutes later I had gotten the 2 things I had planned to get and the one thing I didn't think/remember that I did need.
And hence goes almost every trip to Home Depot.
I need to never plan a 2 hour shopping trip there, or I may not emerge for days !!!!! But, it's is still a very, VERY cool place !!!!! ;-)
Let me share a sorta funny story - that happens almost everytime I go into Home Depot.
I'll begin by saying I love Home Depot and Lowe's. Sometimes it just makes me want to design and accessorize a house. I love all the doors, door handles, windows, carpets, refrigerators, stoves, fixtures, sinks, cabinets, etc. BUT, when you go in looking for a security peep hole for the front door and something to stick a ceramic tile to wood, a little different story. The only thing worse is looking for a single type of nut or screw. ( ok, if you're gonna take it there fine, but I'm not. I'll just chuckle instead)
I start by going to the info desk, asking about the peep hole, I get sent to doors. After about 7-10 minutes searching this HUGE area with wood doors, glass doors, sliding doors, etc. I see nothing...small. So, I ask someone else and they say "aisle 10". Uh, ok, but the aisle numbers aren't in the rear of the store where I was, so I wander....wander...wander, until I get a brain and head towards the front where the signs are. I find the aisle, and I see keys, smoke and C02 detectors and other things, but can't find the peep holes. Thankfully there was an associate working at the key place, which is in the same aisle ( now is the time to share, the handy, knowledgeable older - or younger - handy man is SUCH a comfort. There's something to be said for the "Little House on the Prairie - Michael Landon character" kinda guy. So if you don't have a man at home, borrow one from Home Depot ;-) )
I asked him where to find the peep holes and he points to this obscure point in the aisle where there are 4 varieties of peep hole. FOUR !!! In that gigunda aisle!!! I'm so glad he showed them to me and also helped me be sure that the one I selected would fit and would be appropriate. Then I asked him what I should use to adhere the ceramic tile ( these are my son's artwork from class) to the wooden frame they came with. He said silicone. Ok. Easy enough.....
NOT !!! Off to the caulking aisle. Who knew there are around 50 types of caulk and silicone? And.. is caulk silicone? I ran with no, but... ( shoulder shrug). So this attractive guy comes up and asks if I need help. Uh, yeah. I must have looked like an illeterate person looking at an aisle of library books. So I told him what I was looking for and he guesses silicone for bathroom. Good guess. We read the backs of the tubes and it looks good. So I start to head away and he goes, "Do you need a gun?" Not unless you steal from me or "things aren't that bad" I thought. But then I realized I did need a gun... a caulking gun. Sheesh !!! I should have spent a little more time with dad. He smiled at my stall. Then he found one that would work, but was cheap (I like him already) and I completed my run.
So I went in to the store thinking it would take 12-15 minutes. Yeah, right. 40 minutes later I had gotten the 2 things I had planned to get and the one thing I didn't think/remember that I did need.
And hence goes almost every trip to Home Depot.
I need to never plan a 2 hour shopping trip there, or I may not emerge for days !!!!! But, it's is still a very, VERY cool place !!!!! ;-)
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Let it go
I swear, I do more than fixate on this stuff. But, this is one of the things that eats at me a little.
Relationships between male and female - necessary or wishful thinking??
I went to dinner with a friend of mine on Friday and we got to talking about this. I was asked, "How was I doing?" since she said I seemed a little out of sorts after the holidays. Meh....
So, I tried to dodge the bullet, but she's a little too persistent. Sometimes talking about this stuff makes me feel totally self conscious that I sound utterly sappy,wishy-washy, delusional and illogical, or just sad and off my rocker. But at the same time, she reminded me that these are judgements, and she wasn't there to judge, but to listen. So I talked. I really love my friend.
I'll skip the finer points but I openly will disclose that we talked about feeling lonely. Her niece met her new husband and step daughter online, so she asked if I had tried it. I said I was hesitant. I don't want to look for a person to be with the way I shop for jeans or shoes and I may be greatly limiting myself this way.
My one friend is 'out there' doing the online dating thing and I get to occasionally hear the tales of these adventures, and I love hearing about them. But as I hear about them, the more I think, I can't do it.
She gave me the, what I'll call the party line, for male/ female relationships and marriages - you deserve to find someone who will respect and treasure you. I believe that, and I want to offer that, but I don't know that it's possible.
I want the romance. Again from Sex and the City, I want " all consuming, inconvenient love". It doesn't have to be instantaneous. I'm of the mind that it's better if it's not. It's a glance, a smile, a pleasant shudder at unintentional contact, a joke, a tickle fight, a kiss on the forehead, a hug that lasts a little too long, the desire to talk to one another constantly but obeying self control, the friendly email, the coffee someone brings just because they can, holding hands during a movie, smiling when you think of them..... etc. All this makes the other stuff, you know the "other stuff" better right? Or am I just super old fashioned here?
I don't think I can find this online, but maybe I am wrong. On the flip side, I am not sure I am patient enough to wait for it to happen by chance or fate. During high school and college, you are surrounded by people, able to watch them and for them to watch you. You can see who you might be interested in and have a chance to interact with them on any and all levels. You have friends explore and test the waters for you. Now, there is little variety in the trek from home to work to home. Most of the folks in my acquaintance are married or already deemed not that kind of material, so what now, change work locations? My previous experiences online were, "interesting" at best, but it was kind of clear what the guys were looking for - a bed partner in 1-3 dates. Yeah, that might be fun, but, not what I'm looking for...... not totally.
So on the same topic but different direction, she asked me why I seem to return to the same mental place in this one situation. I said, hope. It's familiar and I've lived with it so long, it's hard to imagine not having it. But, for this hope to reach any state of fruition also seems impossible, improbable, and highly unlikely - no, I don't mean to seem redundant.
So, she says she understands (which I am so happy about, since few who know do) but, she also said, "What do you think you need to do?" To which I shrug. I have done all I am comfortable or feel safe doing to no response or avail. She says, "That's your answer. Perhaps you need to let this go. It has too much control over you. There's no proof or reason to hold onto this hope, so keep the idea of what you want and seek it elsewhere" Ah, my wise friend. So easily said, but...
But, I wonder if it isn't time.
So, I'm not ready to man shop. Maybe I'll just hope and pray that someone will come into my life to be a friend, a playmate, and then in time, a male role model for my son, a bed mate and a life mate. She reminded me of something that I had forgotten - when you are married, you can still be lonely sometimes, but it is passing and often can be shared for relief. It is a sad state when you with someone and you are always lonely. ( Been there, done that, got the t-shirt)
Better to be lonely on your own than lonely with another.
But the good news is that I keep getting spammed by this thing called "Fuckbook". So, if I get really hard up, it's good to know I have options ;-) ( seriously???)
When it should be the easiest thing in the world to do, why is it so hard sometimes to just let go.
Relationships between male and female - necessary or wishful thinking??
I went to dinner with a friend of mine on Friday and we got to talking about this. I was asked, "How was I doing?" since she said I seemed a little out of sorts after the holidays. Meh....
So, I tried to dodge the bullet, but she's a little too persistent. Sometimes talking about this stuff makes me feel totally self conscious that I sound utterly sappy,wishy-washy, delusional and illogical, or just sad and off my rocker. But at the same time, she reminded me that these are judgements, and she wasn't there to judge, but to listen. So I talked. I really love my friend.
I'll skip the finer points but I openly will disclose that we talked about feeling lonely. Her niece met her new husband and step daughter online, so she asked if I had tried it. I said I was hesitant. I don't want to look for a person to be with the way I shop for jeans or shoes and I may be greatly limiting myself this way.
My one friend is 'out there' doing the online dating thing and I get to occasionally hear the tales of these adventures, and I love hearing about them. But as I hear about them, the more I think, I can't do it.
She gave me the, what I'll call the party line, for male/ female relationships and marriages - you deserve to find someone who will respect and treasure you. I believe that, and I want to offer that, but I don't know that it's possible.
I want the romance. Again from Sex and the City, I want " all consuming, inconvenient love". It doesn't have to be instantaneous. I'm of the mind that it's better if it's not. It's a glance, a smile, a pleasant shudder at unintentional contact, a joke, a tickle fight, a kiss on the forehead, a hug that lasts a little too long, the desire to talk to one another constantly but obeying self control, the friendly email, the coffee someone brings just because they can, holding hands during a movie, smiling when you think of them..... etc. All this makes the other stuff, you know the "other stuff" better right? Or am I just super old fashioned here?
I don't think I can find this online, but maybe I am wrong. On the flip side, I am not sure I am patient enough to wait for it to happen by chance or fate. During high school and college, you are surrounded by people, able to watch them and for them to watch you. You can see who you might be interested in and have a chance to interact with them on any and all levels. You have friends explore and test the waters for you. Now, there is little variety in the trek from home to work to home. Most of the folks in my acquaintance are married or already deemed not that kind of material, so what now, change work locations? My previous experiences online were, "interesting" at best, but it was kind of clear what the guys were looking for - a bed partner in 1-3 dates. Yeah, that might be fun, but, not what I'm looking for...... not totally.
So on the same topic but different direction, she asked me why I seem to return to the same mental place in this one situation. I said, hope. It's familiar and I've lived with it so long, it's hard to imagine not having it. But, for this hope to reach any state of fruition also seems impossible, improbable, and highly unlikely - no, I don't mean to seem redundant.
So, she says she understands (which I am so happy about, since few who know do) but, she also said, "What do you think you need to do?" To which I shrug. I have done all I am comfortable or feel safe doing to no response or avail. She says, "That's your answer. Perhaps you need to let this go. It has too much control over you. There's no proof or reason to hold onto this hope, so keep the idea of what you want and seek it elsewhere" Ah, my wise friend. So easily said, but...
But, I wonder if it isn't time.
So, I'm not ready to man shop. Maybe I'll just hope and pray that someone will come into my life to be a friend, a playmate, and then in time, a male role model for my son, a bed mate and a life mate. She reminded me of something that I had forgotten - when you are married, you can still be lonely sometimes, but it is passing and often can be shared for relief. It is a sad state when you with someone and you are always lonely. ( Been there, done that, got the t-shirt)
Better to be lonely on your own than lonely with another.
But the good news is that I keep getting spammed by this thing called "Fuckbook". So, if I get really hard up, it's good to know I have options ;-) ( seriously???)
When it should be the easiest thing in the world to do, why is it so hard sometimes to just let go.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Business as usual
Ah, back to the grind stone. No time to P&M about life's tribulations now. Just time to get dressed, get to work, do all the other stuff, catch a meal if time and wallet allow, go home, go to bed and hit it all again the next day. Good stuff.
But...so I don't forget, my ex-inlaws and I had an 'interesting' discussion about money. Although I like having money ( for those 2 days I may have some) most days I hate money. I'll have to try to sum it all up here later, becuase I must go to bed to arise to arrive at my job on time to make and earn said money.
Bleh.....
But...so I don't forget, my ex-inlaws and I had an 'interesting' discussion about money. Although I like having money ( for those 2 days I may have some) most days I hate money. I'll have to try to sum it all up here later, becuase I must go to bed to arise to arrive at my job on time to make and earn said money.
Bleh.....
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Levity
( Before I begin, I wonder if the time these things are written is known to the universe here. It might give some insight on how driven I am to use my planning periods this week.) But I don't think healthy contemplation at any time is a bad thing for a teacher (or anyone really). The lack of it, now that's a concern.
So with all these "deep" thoughts posts lately ( to be read with slightly sarcastic undertone as that's how I thought it) I felt I needed some levity today. I often wonder if others think about this stuff, because in the daily grind no one really talks about this stuff. Who really wants to? Maybe over coffee now and then with your closest friends, but most daily exchanges are light hearted, trivial, or just helping one another get to another weekend. There are times that I wonder if I think about inconsequential - fru-fru stuff a little too often. Maybe. Maybe not. Who knows. Sometimes it's good - helps me think or see something I didn't before. Sometimes its revealing. And sometimes, it's highly aggravating even to me. :-)
But today, happily, I ran into some coworkers that reminded me of some funny stories. Forgive me if I have shared these before, but they are too funny not to share again and they brought a smile to my face.
In music classes, the most innocuous comments can be perverted in the most inappropriate ways and sometimes, they just come out that way in translations.
#1 - jazz band guitarist - We hear this "TWANG" in rehearsal and I look over and the highly aggravated guitarist says "Darn it !!! My G-string just broke" So if you're out and public and hear "TWANG".... think twice. :-)
#2 - elementary teacher had taught 3rd grade class the concept of intervals - the distance between 2 notes. The following day she asks the class, "Does anyone remember the word that means the distance between 2 notes?" and a student answers, " Yes. Intercourse. Oh wait... that's not it. What was it?"
#3 - Second grade class listens to a Mozart's horn concerto and is asked to describe what they heard. The responses are; " Dancing" "Fun" "Bouncy" " Horny".........
#4 - And the standard high school line ....( oh wait, and New Years tag) In talking about articulating accents ( putting emphasis on a note using air and the tongue) the female teacher says, "Come on, use your tongue like you mean it" and 'that' student tags, " That what she said".
#5 - Lastly, one from this week that makes me laugh and shudder. We were talking about a passage slowing down when it shouldn't be. I say " We have a problem brewing here. Let's break this apart and pull that tea bag before it steeps too long" I guess one cannot say "tea-bag" in a high school classroom any longer. About 4 of my high schoolers go into that girly giggle ( not all girls mind you) and all I could say was " Ugh. I'm going to beat some of you" and exit that early remark as quickly as possible. They know the nasty reference for tea bag but don't know what the word steep means. Scary.....
The music room is a very precarious place to be sometimes. But amusing nonetheless.
Back to work.....
So with all these "deep" thoughts posts lately ( to be read with slightly sarcastic undertone as that's how I thought it) I felt I needed some levity today. I often wonder if others think about this stuff, because in the daily grind no one really talks about this stuff. Who really wants to? Maybe over coffee now and then with your closest friends, but most daily exchanges are light hearted, trivial, or just helping one another get to another weekend. There are times that I wonder if I think about inconsequential - fru-fru stuff a little too often. Maybe. Maybe not. Who knows. Sometimes it's good - helps me think or see something I didn't before. Sometimes its revealing. And sometimes, it's highly aggravating even to me. :-)
But today, happily, I ran into some coworkers that reminded me of some funny stories. Forgive me if I have shared these before, but they are too funny not to share again and they brought a smile to my face.
In music classes, the most innocuous comments can be perverted in the most inappropriate ways and sometimes, they just come out that way in translations.
#1 - jazz band guitarist - We hear this "TWANG" in rehearsal and I look over and the highly aggravated guitarist says "Darn it !!! My G-string just broke" So if you're out and public and hear "TWANG".... think twice. :-)
#2 - elementary teacher had taught 3rd grade class the concept of intervals - the distance between 2 notes. The following day she asks the class, "Does anyone remember the word that means the distance between 2 notes?" and a student answers, " Yes. Intercourse. Oh wait... that's not it. What was it?"
#3 - Second grade class listens to a Mozart's horn concerto and is asked to describe what they heard. The responses are; " Dancing" "Fun" "Bouncy" " Horny".........
#4 - And the standard high school line ....( oh wait, and New Years tag) In talking about articulating accents ( putting emphasis on a note using air and the tongue) the female teacher says, "Come on, use your tongue like you mean it" and 'that' student tags, " That what she said".
#5 - Lastly, one from this week that makes me laugh and shudder. We were talking about a passage slowing down when it shouldn't be. I say " We have a problem brewing here. Let's break this apart and pull that tea bag before it steeps too long" I guess one cannot say "tea-bag" in a high school classroom any longer. About 4 of my high schoolers go into that girly giggle ( not all girls mind you) and all I could say was " Ugh. I'm going to beat some of you" and exit that early remark as quickly as possible. They know the nasty reference for tea bag but don't know what the word steep means. Scary.....
The music room is a very precarious place to be sometimes. But amusing nonetheless.
Back to work.....
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Passion - Ha, I'm not the only one.
Someone else talking about "feelings" . Thank goodness !!!!
The following excerpt is from a fellow staff member ( hope they never find this blog) talking about stopping to teach at the school where I work.
".I have watched for the last 12 years as one legislative mandate after another has washed over the landscape of secondary public education. Each of those mandates has made charter schools a little more like the traditional public schools we were created as an alternative to.".............
......."In any case, the net result of it all is that my fire for continuing to do this has dwindled. A paycheck is nice but does nothing to replace the glow of a healthy fire. For me, there is no passion without that fire. I am willing to forgo a lot of things, but passion is not one of those things. Consequently, I have chosen to take my energies and invest them elsewhere at the end of this school year."
Another hmmm moment. Do you love what you do for a job/career? How long do you see yourself doing it? What are your other options should you decide to stop?
I think about this every now and again. American public education is a battlefield at best with many competing interests, first and foremost it would seem is money. Next is to replace home parenting. Somewhere close to the bottom is creating educated, thoughtful, upstanding, self sustaining citizens. Ok, so for a teacher on a global scale, that's a bit of a downer.
But there are perks too. Teaching somebody something is a great joy and a non purchasable, irreplaceable gift. But, there's always the yin and yang isn't there. How long to you try to give 110% knowing you may get a 50% return rate or can you live with yourself if you only give 70% to maintain status quo and state of mental and/or physical health?
Anyway, as I thought about this, I was also thinking how much a career and the choices you make within that realm can resemble relationships and the choices you make in them too.
Options;
Stick to what you know, accept it, work at it and yourself to keep it from getting old or "boring", or settle for it and maybe hope that it gets better.
Leave and go and explore the unknown and see what happens and where other interests lie.
Have some job hunter seek you and change alliances.
And, it seems you should be passionate about what you do and what your role is, most of the time, to have intrinsic reward.
Do you see the corollary??? A little creepy actually, but true, don't you think.
So which do you focus on first? Career contentment and then personal relationship contentment/fulfillment or vice versa or do you work equally hard at both simultaneously? Or.... do you only work so that you can play and have or look for "relationships" so that you can play too?? Ew, that notion seems disgustingly selfish to me, yet profoundly simple. I guess that's why it doesn't work for me. I seem to be attracted to the complex, as much as it vexes me at times. Simple is boring...... sometimes.
Or, do you just do what's true to and for you and say screw everything else.
Hmmm. I tell you, after reading that " Eat, Pray, Love" book, Bali or even India sounds better each and every day.
I think when you're caught in a rat race, of any genus, sometimes you forget where your going, sometimes forget where you have been, and then the horrible realization comes that..... eventually the rat dies even though the race continues. Where's the story of the rat stopping just to rest and eat it's cheese? Or is that the rat in the trap?
Ben Johnson, a former student summed it up the best. "What are you doing??" and the follow up question. "WHY are you doing it?"
Not depressed I swear to you. Just...... thinking.
I have to say this though,as a tangent, I'm not the biggest fan of the thirty's decade thus far. I guess I should try to learn to be. I won't be here (in my 30's that is) all that much longer and last decade flew by before I realized it. How did that happen???
The following excerpt is from a fellow staff member ( hope they never find this blog) talking about stopping to teach at the school where I work.
".I have watched for the last 12 years as one legislative mandate after another has washed over the landscape of secondary public education. Each of those mandates has made charter schools a little more like the traditional public schools we were created as an alternative to.".............
......."In any case, the net result of it all is that my fire for continuing to do this has dwindled. A paycheck is nice but does nothing to replace the glow of a healthy fire. For me, there is no passion without that fire. I am willing to forgo a lot of things, but passion is not one of those things. Consequently, I have chosen to take my energies and invest them elsewhere at the end of this school year."
Another hmmm moment. Do you love what you do for a job/career? How long do you see yourself doing it? What are your other options should you decide to stop?
I think about this every now and again. American public education is a battlefield at best with many competing interests, first and foremost it would seem is money. Next is to replace home parenting. Somewhere close to the bottom is creating educated, thoughtful, upstanding, self sustaining citizens. Ok, so for a teacher on a global scale, that's a bit of a downer.
But there are perks too. Teaching somebody something is a great joy and a non purchasable, irreplaceable gift. But, there's always the yin and yang isn't there. How long to you try to give 110% knowing you may get a 50% return rate or can you live with yourself if you only give 70% to maintain status quo and state of mental and/or physical health?
Anyway, as I thought about this, I was also thinking how much a career and the choices you make within that realm can resemble relationships and the choices you make in them too.
Options;
Stick to what you know, accept it, work at it and yourself to keep it from getting old or "boring", or settle for it and maybe hope that it gets better.
Leave and go and explore the unknown and see what happens and where other interests lie.
Have some job hunter seek you and change alliances.
And, it seems you should be passionate about what you do and what your role is, most of the time, to have intrinsic reward.
Do you see the corollary??? A little creepy actually, but true, don't you think.
So which do you focus on first? Career contentment and then personal relationship contentment/fulfillment or vice versa or do you work equally hard at both simultaneously? Or.... do you only work so that you can play and have or look for "relationships" so that you can play too?? Ew, that notion seems disgustingly selfish to me, yet profoundly simple. I guess that's why it doesn't work for me. I seem to be attracted to the complex, as much as it vexes me at times. Simple is boring...... sometimes.
Or, do you just do what's true to and for you and say screw everything else.
Hmmm. I tell you, after reading that " Eat, Pray, Love" book, Bali or even India sounds better each and every day.
I think when you're caught in a rat race, of any genus, sometimes you forget where your going, sometimes forget where you have been, and then the horrible realization comes that..... eventually the rat dies even though the race continues. Where's the story of the rat stopping just to rest and eat it's cheese? Or is that the rat in the trap?
Ben Johnson, a former student summed it up the best. "What are you doing??" and the follow up question. "WHY are you doing it?"
Not depressed I swear to you. Just...... thinking.
I have to say this though,as a tangent, I'm not the biggest fan of the thirty's decade thus far. I guess I should try to learn to be. I won't be here (in my 30's that is) all that much longer and last decade flew by before I realized it. How did that happen???
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Strike 2
Ok. I wrote one post and it reached a point that I had to dump into the other blog so then I started another ( which I copied/ stole from a really old post from Ryan) and felt bad for not being original, so..... no dice. ( but do go to 2005 maybe and look up Ryan's "remember when" post, if you know who Ryan is that is)
So sadly, no profundity tonight.
There was a full moon last night and tonight and here, it was absolutely spectacular to see.
There. I'll blame it on the moon.
So sadly, no profundity tonight.
There was a full moon last night and tonight and here, it was absolutely spectacular to see.
There. I'll blame it on the moon.
Monday, January 09, 2012
Random thoughts
I said I liked quotes and I wasn't lying. Besides, I've had such a good streak of writing everyday, I hated to break it today. Maybe I'll break it tomorrow instead......... ;-)
Here are tonight's random thoughts and...... boy is it a smorgasbord:
“We look at each other wondering what the other is thinking but we never say a thing.” - Dave Matthews
" Ants Marching"
“Time goes by so fast, people go in and out of your life. You must never miss the opportunity to tell these people how much they mean to you.”
“The only source of knowledge is experience” Albert Einstein
True friends are those who, when you make a fool of yourself, don't believe that this condition is permanent. -Erwin T. Randall
“Every person, all the events of your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.”
-Richard Bach
Chew on those. I will too as I get cozy with my date for the evening................. Mr.Sandman. ;-)
Here are tonight's random thoughts and...... boy is it a smorgasbord:
“We look at each other wondering what the other is thinking but we never say a thing.” - Dave Matthews
" Ants Marching"
“Time goes by so fast, people go in and out of your life. You must never miss the opportunity to tell these people how much they mean to you.”
“The only source of knowledge is experience” Albert Einstein
True friends are those who, when you make a fool of yourself, don't believe that this condition is permanent. -Erwin T. Randall
“Every person, all the events of your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.”
-Richard Bach
Chew on those. I will too as I get cozy with my date for the evening................. Mr.Sandman. ;-)
Sunday, January 08, 2012
What's on your mind ?
I think that most people would be a lot happier if they learned to just say what's on their mind instead of hiding it.
Let's have some fun shall we?? Thank you B.C. for offering this.
Now, do you "really" think people would be happier doing that?
This may tie into that whole "secrets" entry I am working on, but I'm still..... contemplating/brooding on that entry as a whole. ;-)
For some things, it's so very easy to say what's on your mind; "I'm cold." "I hate that sweater" " I really like that song". But for the most part, those things are very superficial at best. Or, at least at very low risk.
But to say things that hit closer to a person, they are much harder to iterate, aren't they? Or is that just me? For instance (in hypotheticals) I could never easily tell a family member. "I think you are being incredibly rude and sincerely wish you would be more considerate" or tell a co-worker "Your assessment of your own wisdom is very over-inflated" or tell someone you have feelings for ....... whatever it is you can't say to them in person.
Who does it help to say these things? The other person? Hmm, I think you can argue that by just considering yourself that other person. It's only nice when it's something you "want" to hear.
Does it help the confessor? Well, that's what I'm trying to find out with that other blog, but I guess it depends on what the utterer is looking to accomplish. When a person shares their mind they kind of are assuming the other person cares what they think, or at least has an interest in what they are talking about and value their opinion. What if they don't? What if what's on "your" mind just makes another angry, or upset, or uncomfortable? What then???
In that vein, isn't speaking your mind a type of selfish act?
Sharing your mind, much like sharing your heart, is occassionally a risk taking venture....like swimming in greatly varied, unknown, bodies of water. Much better to test and be familiar with the water, knowing there's a chance there are some places you may never be safe to swim. Doesn't mean dangerous waters can't be very,very enticing and it doesn't mean we don't sometimes swim in them anyway.
And, when exposing a part of yourself, let's say skinny dipping, sometimes it's much more comfortable to be by one's self. ( granted it may not be as enjoyable)
Have I killed that analogy enough ??????
I guess, some thoughts I share like breath and others, sometimes I hold onto until;
- I deem them worthy or safe to share
- they dissolve
- they just can't be self contained any longer.
Or, if of a personal nature, until a person they are meant for asks for them.
Some thoughts I want to hold onto forever while others I pray will fade away. And then, sometimes after those desired to fade thoughts have done so, they are revived and come back just as present as they ever were, if not more so.
Life's a pisser like that sometimes.
I have spoken enough of my mind tonight ;-)
“When a secret is revealed, it is the fault of the man who confided it”
Secret thoughts and open countenance will go safely over the whole world.
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Let's have some fun shall we?? Thank you B.C. for offering this.
Now, do you "really" think people would be happier doing that?
This may tie into that whole "secrets" entry I am working on, but I'm still..... contemplating/brooding on that entry as a whole. ;-)
For some things, it's so very easy to say what's on your mind; "I'm cold." "I hate that sweater" " I really like that song". But for the most part, those things are very superficial at best. Or, at least at very low risk.
But to say things that hit closer to a person, they are much harder to iterate, aren't they? Or is that just me? For instance (in hypotheticals) I could never easily tell a family member. "I think you are being incredibly rude and sincerely wish you would be more considerate" or tell a co-worker "Your assessment of your own wisdom is very over-inflated" or tell someone you have feelings for ....... whatever it is you can't say to them in person.
Who does it help to say these things? The other person? Hmm, I think you can argue that by just considering yourself that other person. It's only nice when it's something you "want" to hear.
Does it help the confessor? Well, that's what I'm trying to find out with that other blog, but I guess it depends on what the utterer is looking to accomplish. When a person shares their mind they kind of are assuming the other person cares what they think, or at least has an interest in what they are talking about and value their opinion. What if they don't? What if what's on "your" mind just makes another angry, or upset, or uncomfortable? What then???
In that vein, isn't speaking your mind a type of selfish act?
Sharing your mind, much like sharing your heart, is occassionally a risk taking venture....like swimming in greatly varied, unknown, bodies of water. Much better to test and be familiar with the water, knowing there's a chance there are some places you may never be safe to swim. Doesn't mean dangerous waters can't be very,very enticing and it doesn't mean we don't sometimes swim in them anyway.
And, when exposing a part of yourself, let's say skinny dipping, sometimes it's much more comfortable to be by one's self. ( granted it may not be as enjoyable)
Have I killed that analogy enough ??????
I guess, some thoughts I share like breath and others, sometimes I hold onto until;
- I deem them worthy or safe to share
- they dissolve
- they just can't be self contained any longer.
Or, if of a personal nature, until a person they are meant for asks for them.
Some thoughts I want to hold onto forever while others I pray will fade away. And then, sometimes after those desired to fade thoughts have done so, they are revived and come back just as present as they ever were, if not more so.
Life's a pisser like that sometimes.
I have spoken enough of my mind tonight ;-)
“When a secret is revealed, it is the fault of the man who confided it”
Celebrate
I just wanted to gloat, share, celebrate this little accomplishment here versus FB since here the readership seems more limited. Meh, I may put it on FB later just because I am so happy. But don't get too tantilized, it's not THAT big of a deal. Just a happy spot for me
Little backround: I am a big fan of the breakfast meal - eggs, pancakes, french toast, quiche, omlettes, etc. I usually prefer my eggs scrambled though. A few weeks ago Christian informed me that scrambled eggs were no longer preferred by him, but over easy eggs were. When I worked at Denny's in college I loved watching the cooks do that.... "swoopy-do" thing of flipping the egg from the pan, but I knew I would get egg ALL over the stove. So I used to use a spatula to flip an egg. Let me tell you, NOT the best way to flip an egg and not pop the yolk.
I sucked it up, mustered my gumption and thought to attempt to flip an egg.I started with one. Did ok, no mess -age on the stove, but I did pop the yolk. :-( A few more attempts and I started being more successful.
Today.... TODAY....this morning I took the challenge and buttered my pan on the mission to flip 2 eggs. To make an already too long story shorter..... I DID IT !!!!!! Happy dance !!! I can now flip eggs. Sooo excited. Humpty Dumpty may have fallen off the wall, but now I can flip him ;-) All is not lost.
Happy day !!!
Little backround: I am a big fan of the breakfast meal - eggs, pancakes, french toast, quiche, omlettes, etc. I usually prefer my eggs scrambled though. A few weeks ago Christian informed me that scrambled eggs were no longer preferred by him, but over easy eggs were. When I worked at Denny's in college I loved watching the cooks do that.... "swoopy-do" thing of flipping the egg from the pan, but I knew I would get egg ALL over the stove. So I used to use a spatula to flip an egg. Let me tell you, NOT the best way to flip an egg and not pop the yolk.
I sucked it up, mustered my gumption and thought to attempt to flip an egg.I started with one. Did ok, no mess -age on the stove, but I did pop the yolk. :-( A few more attempts and I started being more successful.
Today.... TODAY....this morning I took the challenge and buttered my pan on the mission to flip 2 eggs. To make an already too long story shorter..... I DID IT !!!!!! Happy dance !!! I can now flip eggs. Sooo excited. Humpty Dumpty may have fallen off the wall, but now I can flip him ;-) All is not lost.
Happy day !!!
Saturday, January 07, 2012
The little things
After my worries about Monday's rehearsal, my conductor comes up to me today and compliments..... my hair. I forgot that I didn't blow dry it the day of that rehearsal because I was running late and not feeling in the best of health.
Still, it's kinda nice when a guy compliments something about the way you look, his personal persuasions aside. I'll take it :-)
Now, if I could have remembered to transpose in C instead of D in the run through, it would have been an ever better day......
Still, it's kinda nice when a guy compliments something about the way you look, his personal persuasions aside. I'll take it :-)
Now, if I could have remembered to transpose in C instead of D in the run through, it would have been an ever better day......
Great quote
"Life's not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain."
Note - I found this after being shown a little girl's FB fage, a little girl who just passed away from brain cancer. That's bravery.
And, the organization founded becuase of her - her organization NEGU..... Never Ever Give Up.
All I can say is wow....
May I learn to dance half a gracefully as she did.
Note - I found this after being shown a little girl's FB fage, a little girl who just passed away from brain cancer. That's bravery.
And, the organization founded becuase of her - her organization NEGU..... Never Ever Give Up.
All I can say is wow....
May I learn to dance half a gracefully as she did.
Friday, January 06, 2012
Gotta love Yahoo news
So, I am thinking that I'm not going to keep up this post everyday thing. In fact, today, I was thinking specically about "not" writing, as this blog sort of reminds me of binge eating and then regaining a sense of self control and normalcy. Yeah, that didn't work. Hand me that cookie.....
But anyway, I was going to go serious and talk about secrets - to keep or not to keep ( oooooh) as I recently put another journal under high security due to content - sorry, nothing seedy just personal.
As I signed on to the laptop today, I had to make sure I am in touch with the world so I took a look at Yahoo news ( NYT has nothing on that ;-) ) Anyway, the majority of the articles are almost always brain numbing, and have "no desire to know" content, but the comments... THE COMMENTS are so, so funny !!!! Some really are witty, and others just serve to remind me how many cruel and stupid people there are in the world. Plus, I love how folks just bust on Yahoo news itself. "I plucked my eyebrows today and it hurt. Did I make the Yahoo cut?" was a personal favorite.
Check out the comments for Justin Bieber's tattoo.
http://music.yahoo.com/blogs/stop-the-presses/justin-bieber-reveals-latest-religious-tattoo-image-jesus 190635680.html
I couldn't care less that he has one. Sure, I can respect his reasons, but that aside, I don't really care why he got one, that he got one, and I don't want to read on national news about people's tattoos. But, as I said before, the comments for this article are very fun. I almost peed my pants laughing. In fact, I continue to laugh remembering them.
Now that's good reading !!!
But anyway, I was going to go serious and talk about secrets - to keep or not to keep ( oooooh) as I recently put another journal under high security due to content - sorry, nothing seedy just personal.
As I signed on to the laptop today, I had to make sure I am in touch with the world so I took a look at Yahoo news ( NYT has nothing on that ;-) ) Anyway, the majority of the articles are almost always brain numbing, and have "no desire to know" content, but the comments... THE COMMENTS are so, so funny !!!! Some really are witty, and others just serve to remind me how many cruel and stupid people there are in the world. Plus, I love how folks just bust on Yahoo news itself. "I plucked my eyebrows today and it hurt. Did I make the Yahoo cut?" was a personal favorite.
Check out the comments for Justin Bieber's tattoo.
http://music.yahoo.com/blogs/stop-the-presses/justin-bieber-reveals-latest-religious-tattoo-image-jesus 190635680.html
I couldn't care less that he has one. Sure, I can respect his reasons, but that aside, I don't really care why he got one, that he got one, and I don't want to read on national news about people's tattoos. But, as I said before, the comments for this article are very fun. I almost peed my pants laughing. In fact, I continue to laugh remembering them.
Now that's good reading !!!
Thursday, January 05, 2012
Learn something new everyday
A helpful distraction from personal thought - I learned a new word today from a student. Synesthesia.
Once you know what it means, you'll understand my surprize/ disappointment that I didn't know it already.
Synesthesia is a perceptual condition of mixed sensations: a stimulus in one sensory modality (e.g., hearing) involuntarily elicits a sensation/experience in another modality (e.g. vision). Likewise, perception of a form (e.g., a letter) may induce an unusual perception in the same modality (e.g. a color)
It's much more involved than that, and I am having some fun reading about it. The student brought it up as we were listening to a piece of rather abstract music that is about a modern work of art. He said that he couldn't describe the music using words as he was trying to become a synesthetic and experience the music that way.... and he was serious. I asked what synesthetic was and he gave an "ok" definition as it is somewhat difficult to define. I humorred him but had no idea what that was. I have heard that people with perfect pitch can tell a note by the color they see in their minds eye when hearing it, but that's the closest I could get. But, as I researched the artwork which the music was about, someone had described the artist as a possible synesthetic. So, it was there I ended up learning how to spell it and then began a little research.
It's a common attritubute associated to artists - visual, musicial, even theatrical. Other than that, I don't have much to say about it other than it's intriging. I will say it's almost as abstract as the condition it refers to. :-)
I do know I learned about something new today. Always a plus.
Always a plus to have healthy distraction too !
Once you know what it means, you'll understand my surprize/ disappointment that I didn't know it already.
Synesthesia is a perceptual condition of mixed sensations: a stimulus in one sensory modality (e.g., hearing) involuntarily elicits a sensation/experience in another modality (e.g. vision). Likewise, perception of a form (e.g., a letter) may induce an unusual perception in the same modality (e.g. a color)
It's much more involved than that, and I am having some fun reading about it. The student brought it up as we were listening to a piece of rather abstract music that is about a modern work of art. He said that he couldn't describe the music using words as he was trying to become a synesthetic and experience the music that way.... and he was serious. I asked what synesthetic was and he gave an "ok" definition as it is somewhat difficult to define. I humorred him but had no idea what that was. I have heard that people with perfect pitch can tell a note by the color they see in their minds eye when hearing it, but that's the closest I could get. But, as I researched the artwork which the music was about, someone had described the artist as a possible synesthetic. So, it was there I ended up learning how to spell it and then began a little research.
It's a common attritubute associated to artists - visual, musicial, even theatrical. Other than that, I don't have much to say about it other than it's intriging. I will say it's almost as abstract as the condition it refers to. :-)
I do know I learned about something new today. Always a plus.
Always a plus to have healthy distraction too !
Morning thought
There's more to share with that caption, but as there is more pressing business at hand I wanted to note this one. In reading email from a orchestra board member she has at the bottom of her emails this quote:
Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live. --Mark Twain
Do you think Mr. Twain would be ok if one would substitute "delusions" for illusions? I mean, how different are they really, save connotation? ;-)
And... forgive any overly wayward thoughts these past days. Consider it the DayQuil talking :-)
And if you have any favorite quotes or mantras, share them. I use them often for...... regaining mental equilibrium..... kinda .....
Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live. --Mark Twain
Do you think Mr. Twain would be ok if one would substitute "delusions" for illusions? I mean, how different are they really, save connotation? ;-)
And... forgive any overly wayward thoughts these past days. Consider it the DayQuil talking :-)
And if you have any favorite quotes or mantras, share them. I use them often for...... regaining mental equilibrium..... kinda .....
Tuesday, January 03, 2012
Monday, January 02, 2012
Keep it coming...
Just wanted to share one of those, "oh so awesome" moments that seem to happen with a little more frequency in my life than I might prefer.
Today's was at orchestra rehearsal. Let me preface a bit by saying my nose is stuffy and running like mad today. A great way to return back to work. But anyway, I was also reminded via email that I had a Chamber Orchestra rehearsal this evening. I was very excited about that ( note sarcasm) as I hadn't played my horn since.... Christmas. Well then I get a text from the principal horn ( he plays first horn - the high parts and the majority of the solos - I play second horn) that he would not be at rehearsal tonight due to a very bad accident his mother had. That was very sad news, but then he adds that I need to play the solo to Mendelsohn's Midsummer Night's Dream. Uhhhhh, not good timing.
So I looked it up online and the only free version I could find was the opening 20 or so measures AND I couldn't get it to print, so I saved it to my computer and took the whole laptop to rehearsal ( another push to invest in an iPad). So, nose running, face and lungs not in shape, I get through the first part of the rehearsal ( not fabulously I must add) and ask the 'handsome' but alternative lifestyle conductor if we would be playing the Nocturno ( the movement with the solo) I showed him the excerpt I had just so that if we did play it, he knew I wasn't a total moron by not playing the entire thing. He humored me and said sure.
When we got to it, I was playing by reading off a a laptop set on a chair, not the best for posture OR eye contact with your conductor, but I managed to get through it. ( I truly believe people in my aquaintance just learn accept the way I am and humor me on a general basis, as I am sure this looked far from kosher) I broke a few phrases becuase of lack of breath support, but the performance wasn't embarrassing. What comes next was though.
This very nice, but very LOUD oboe player comes to see me as we are dismissed from playing - the last number only used strings. The din of the room wasn't overly loud as rehearsal was still continuing and says in her whipser ( aka a def man's shout) "Did you see him smiling at you the whole time you played?" to which I replied " Uh, no. I was too busy squinting towards the laptop" She says," That's what I thought, that's why I wanted to tell you" to which, in the way that's only mine I said " Well that's a once in a lifetime experience" - meaning me getting to play the solo, not him smiling at me..... although I do usually draw a scowl or an index finger pointing to a baton WITH a scowl. So I can only imagine he heard all of this and I could feel my face turning red, so I moved to get the heck out of dodge.
I haven't decided to thank him for humoring my solo read via email and pretend that the oboe player never made a comment or simply slink away and hope he heard nothing and this will all be a memory by next rehearsal. Hmmmmm.
So, my solo moment comes with a little piece of embarrassment to go with it.
Everyone else has moments like these too....... right???
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