Is it really all about relationships???

"It is all about relationships" That is one of the mantras of our school. Its a motto that I believe strongly in also, or at least I did. 90% of my brain or soul agrees with that although now the 10% is getting rather adimate that that is not the case.

Sometimes, I feel like some relationships are like a size 6 jean when you are a size 8 body. You really like the jeans, but you have to decide if you like them enough to change for them and if you wish to do the work to get them. You also need to consider whether the jeans will relax over time and perhaps be more forgiving of your "not quite size 6" body.

Sometimes, I think that relationships are like a high risk investment. You dump energy, time, concern, and feeling into an account in the hopes of seeing a return on your investment. Perhaps you might see a return and perhaps that return might be of signifigant consequence OR you might never see any kickback and lose the hope, energy, and concern that you have invested.

As I teach 7th-12 graders, I see the impacts of some relationships. I've seen the gifts of caring parents, I've seen the trauma of neglectful parents, I see the great joy and heartache of the adolescent relationship, as well as the power of mentoring from trusted teachers and coaches. But living it is very different from watching it.

I firmly believe that all relationships (family, friendship, dating, marriage) are work. I am just becoming discouraged in my thirtysomething years that, sometimes it appears the number of relationships worth working for are hard to find and decreasing in number.

Continuing from the aforementioned analogies - How hard do you look for a pair of jeans that fit you the way you are?? How much should you be willing to change to make a pair of jeans that you do like fit you when it is apparent they don't ?

How much do you invest before deciding to cut your losses? How many different investments should you be willing to try before just cutting your losses, keeping to yourself and saving instead? Is it possible to go broke in either financial situation?

This can't be a good schema for the future.