Too much .... too little

Today I have suffered another round of supposedly good intention with lack of mental follow through. I think this comes from over scheduling.

Christian's grandparents organized a birthday get together ( consisiting of pizza and cake) for him on Sunday, the time unbeknownst to me. I agreed to this dinner get together about 2 weeks ago. A student of mine has a performance that he purchased tickets for me and Christian to attend the same day. Not knowing the time of the performance and thinking it to be a birthday dinner, I thought having these two activities would be manageable. When the mom of this student delivered the tickets, the concert time on the tickets read 3pm. That might work if the dinner were at five. I came to find they had scheduled the "party" for 3 also. When asking Ken if he thought this could be a lunchtime get together instead, he called his parents and "told" them to make the party for 12. Not my preferred method of handling it, but I thought it would be best if he spoke to his mom. His dad calls today saying that the party can't begin until 1 because he is playing a church job until 11:30 and then asks me why I am taking the boy away from his party..... of all adults.

I didn't know the time of the party/ meal with cake - problem #1
I didn't know the time of the concert - problem #2
I should have handled it personally and not let Ken intercede - problem #3
I should have run the meal here so as not to be affected by others schedules that I have no way of knowing about - problem #4
I have no idea how to handle last minute changes when they affect others - problem #5

Thinking that a concert may not be all that fun for a little boy, I conceded on him not going. Watching TV around a bunch of talking adults probably would be more entertaining. I can't tell the solidness of other people's plans when they happen with so little communication, but yet I didn't think to mention the concert, although my student had asked more than a week ago. I didn't think a change of the time of this meal would be a big deal since it is pizza and cake with family, but I now know I didn't give enough consideration to it.

I am so confused because I try to be, at least I think I do, as accommodating as people ask. I will move a time or do extra somethings because someone else needs it or wants it. On Thursday, Ken got put on a job for Friday. He was previously scheduled to watch Christian and I had a rehearsal. His parents were unavailable. It had all been planned. Thursday at 4 he calls to tell me he can't due to this last minute assignment and says I have to call for a babysitter. Not that he was sorry for the inconvenience or would appreciate if I called. His mother then tells me I should skip the rehearsal to stay home. Angry and hurt that my inconvenience was not even taken into the slightest account, I ended up finding a great babysitter who could do this last minute. Part of me was real angry and the other part thinking, eh, it could happen to anyone.

After this event and the aggrevation part, I again reflected on an inconvenience imposed upon another earlier in the week. Damn Karma.

The more I am treated like this, it seems the more selfish I become, almost like self preservation. Intention over thoughtfulness. This is bad.

That, in addition to scheduling things for family, job, health, and for others, I sometimes forget to consider others or see how all planned activties line up I should have gotten the times for the concert and the get-together, but was too busy to step back and see how they fit together.

And when I do something totally self serving, it seems mistimed or misplaced and causes frustration over relief, both to myself and others.

This time, I wanted to support this student as he seemed to want me to and take my son to, oh, something that reflects what I and most of his immediate family do for a living and hope to teach him to enjoy or appreciate it in some sense. Selfish. And in turn, I throw the extended family into a tizzy because pizza and cake were to be eaten at 3 and, with this poorly planned decision, I seemingly am greatly negatively affecting others schedules.

What I think I am finding is an old teacher dictum - planning should take 90% of the task. Execution only takes about 10%. Fail to plan, plan to fail. But, when you are over scheduled, you lack the time to plan.

Being a more "fly by the seat of your pants" person by nature it kills me when the only things that seem pleasant are those that have been planned. That, and I hate the fact that I seem to do the exact same things I hate when others do.

As for earlier in the week, I was looking to share some time and space in a friendly environment, not necessarily conversation and certainly not conflict. I didn't read the "bright" neon signs that the other party had neither the time nor will for either. It seemed it was my turn to be inconsiderate.

I guess this is just another life lesson.