While I was driving home from the conductors symposium, I was thinking about the events and information presented at the event and trying to process it all. One thing I realized, or that I appreciate is that music educators, especially the most respected ones at the collegiate level, are some of the most enlightened and inspired people I have ever encountered. Music education, and education in the US in general, is in an age of uncertainty and floundering direction. It is so easy to be discouraged or to feel as if all you are is overworked and undervalued. The lecturing conductors helped to remind us, or me at least, that education of any sort is not about the now, but rather the later. Inspiring anyone to think, evaluate, challenge, describe, find alternatives, and give them some of the tools necessary to arrive at these goals, is a vision and a goal that may not be immediately seen. I know that I didn't appreciate half of the valuable teachers in my school years until I was out well of their presence, yet I remember them and the lessons they taught all too well. I may not fully appreciate mathematics to this very day, but I know that Mr. Frasier loved it, and I did in that precal class what I did for him. I wish I had encouraged myself to seek further application than filling a page with a 20 or more step proof.
One of the things these gentlemen said in their closing statemenst was, "surround yourself with quality people and you will become a quality person". Though sometimes this seems more challenging than others, I so believe this statement.
Another thing the emphasized over the 2 days was to teach the "feeling" or the "emotion" of the music. This is how I listen to music ( which is why I can only take hard rock and metal in small doses - too angry sounding) but I never realized how challenging this feat is for others. We listened to a few pieces and the one Maestro asked us to think of emotional descriptions of the excerpts. There were many in attendance who had trouble doing this. This is my main mission in my classroom. To help students have a reaction to music, whatever it may be. I forget who said it, but there is a quote that begins "Art/music begins where words end"
As I was thinking about these things, and trying to synthesize them when I began to take it in a different direction. It began in the direction of relationship and then I realized it transpires far beyond that. I began with the idea that a person is a collection of what they believe, what they need, and what they want. Perception is a persons reality, so therefore their belief system - right, wrong, good, bad, correct, incorrect, genius, ignorance, need, desire is the basis of who they are and how they act. Although fact can't be altered, perception can.
This collection of things guide peoples choices. They drive a particular car, purchase a home, befriend a person, subscribe to a religion, etc based upon a belief of a perception, a want or a need (even if that is only perceived).
Have you ever wanted or believed that you needed something that was bad for you? A bad decision, a relationship, a job, etc. simply because of of your beliefs, wants or needs? Where you aware that your .... perception or hierarchy of want and need was askew and you weren't aware of it? (The easiest analogy is the girl digging the bad boy type.) What was the result? Did you discover that the thing was "a poor choice" on your own? Did someone help to change your perception? Did an experience? Do you still want that " poor choice" even though you know it is a poor choice? Can you honestly tell yourself that?
A former student of mine, I guess 3 years ago now, delivered a graduation address with the message "What are you doing"? I think that question is one people should ask themselves on a fairly frequent basis, but then follow it with "Why are you doing it?"... for what purpose, result, goal?
How do you convince yourself to make the "right" choice when your perception of want or need drive you elsewhere? How do you make the choice that fills the need but may neglect the want? The choice that fits the perception of practical, but perhaps not the one of aesthetic? Is that what "settling" is? When I sacrifice perfection on a piece I select for the kids for the experience and exposure to it, is that settling?" When someone buys a smaller home so that they can afford their kids swimming lessons and soccer clubs, is that settling?" When someone marries a partner because they are a good stable person even though the fire and butterfly feeling isn't there, is that settling? Or is that making a choice and/or a sacrifice?
If you know you keep making poor choices is a specific arena - finances, relationships, music literature, etc, how does one change the belief, the want, the need, or their apparent hierarchy to one another in order to make wiser decisions?
I just arrived to this thought trail with the questions, " What if there was a thing you really wanted, or really thought you wanted, but you believe or even know that you can't have it? And what if you have had this want, this vision for so long that it is almost a part of you? How do you let that go without losing part of yourself? Or is letting go of the want, and the results of that the continual creation of who you are becoming?"
This could be a career goal, a personal image, parenthood, etc.
Not sure how I got here from a conductors symposium, but I know it had to do with the messages and the music. We heard music that was 'longing' 'anxiety' 'angst' ' hope' 'freedom' 'sturm and drang' etc. These composers had to have felt those things in order to write music having it. And one of our jobs is to help our students "translate" that. One of the points of contention was that teachers are making bad music choices teaching our students to appreciate 'bad' music - music that doesn't express anything, that doesn't say anything. And some of us are driven to, or drawn to bad music. They were offering suggestions on how to improve a directors selection processes.
I just wondered how many of us get stuck in a personal or professional rut for essentially the same reason, we are drawn to bad choices. How do we change our schema, our perception, our structure and understanding of want and need in order to make better choices? Can we help others do the same?
Another big message was "take risks" but I'll save processing fallout from that on another day.
Guess I'll keep with this whole music thing for at least another year :-)
