My rule: if I choose not to be sarcastic to someone, I must hate them. If I think I can't, I won't like them anyway.
I'm just saying.......
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Sarcasm- the missing love language
Service, gift giving, quality time, touch, one and can't remember and the missing one...... sarcasm. How did they ever miss that?? The folks who wrote that book played with one too many Care Bears and received one too few Hallmark "Maxine" cards.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Geek Speak
It's almost as funny as band nerd jokes.
Internet: where men are women, women are men, and children are FBI agents
When life is crashing down on you, check for missing semi-colons.
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
People say that if you play Microsoft CD’s backwards, you hear satanic things, but that’s nothing, because if you play them forwards, they install Windows.
The ultimate metric that I would like to propose for user friendliness is quite simple: if this system was a person, how long would it take before you punched it in the nose?
Always program as if the person who will be maintaining your program is a violent psychopath that knows where you live.
Artificial Intelligence: The art of making real computers act like the ones in movies.
A computer program will always do what you tell it to, and seldom what you want it to.
I had a fortune cookie the other day and it said: 'Outlook not so good'. I said: 'Sure, but Microsoft ships it anyway'.
It is easier to change the specification to fit the program than vice versa.
If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime.
Real men don't use backups, they post their stuff on a public ftp server and let the rest of the world make copies.
From a student's Facebook page:
Tux speaking "Failure isn't an option. However it does come pre-bundled with Windows." I laughed at that one :-)
When life is crashing down on you, check for missing semi-colons.
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
People say that if you play Microsoft CD’s backwards, you hear satanic things, but that’s nothing, because if you play them forwards, they install Windows.
The ultimate metric that I would like to propose for user friendliness is quite simple: if this system was a person, how long would it take before you punched it in the nose?
Always program as if the person who will be maintaining your program is a violent psychopath that knows where you live.
Artificial Intelligence: The art of making real computers act like the ones in movies.
A computer program will always do what you tell it to, and seldom what you want it to.
I had a fortune cookie the other day and it said: 'Outlook not so good'. I said: 'Sure, but Microsoft ships it anyway'.
It is easier to change the specification to fit the program than vice versa.
If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime.
Real men don't use backups, they post their stuff on a public ftp server and let the rest of the world make copies.
Ah.... so clever.
Monday, January 26, 2009
I wish... I wish
I wish for... at least a two hour delay. Come on two hour delay !!!! Or even, snow day. Come on, come on, come on. Big money, no whammies !!!!
:-)
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Prayer for Bobby
As I flip from channel to channel I came upon this movie. I got stuck. It's more poignant than I can describe.
The thought that comes to my mind, as I watch children in the conservative school I teach in, is it's so important to thoughtfully accept people - not necessarily their actions. It is not wrong to question a person about who they are, if for clarity. It is not alright to judge. It is also not wrong for the person asking to like or dislike their answers to the questions. It is wrong for them to judge them and disclose judgement, especially when that judgement is critical or accusatory for the answers or life choices shared.
Even God never gave the power for man to judge man - meaning their worthiness or sacredness of being human. According to scripture, that one solely belongs to him. Yet man all too often entitles himself as accurate judge of man. And it all starts in elementary school - cool vs uncool, proper vs improper, acceptable vs unacceptable, greater vs less.
Why do people persecute the harmless and fear the harmful? This is one of the ugly truths seen all too often in schools.
When I can, I am anxious to see the entire movie.
And I'll remember to ask when I think someone is not worthy of patience, effort, or understanding, "Who the hell are you to call them unworthy? Who said you were?"
Difference is not a problem to be fixed, merely a description to be recognized and understood.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Back to daily life
Ah, back to the world I know best... wake up ( or try to) at 5:45-6:00am work from 7:30-5:00pm, go home to attempt dinner and homework assistance or some other rehearsal or work related thing from 5:30-7pm or to 10pm. Find time for cleaning my home, and sleep.
Today - that's Saturday mind you; honor band from 9-3, errands from 3:20-4:30 lesson 5-6 and honor band concert from 7-9:30 then socialize with other large masses of adult band nerds from 9:45-11pm.
One of the clinicians was talking to one of his graduates saying " One of the great things in our profession is that you meet many people with similiar lives and interests" Very true. Band nerds adhere to one another like magnets to refrigerators.
That same clinician noted "The secret of a true musician..... having no life but music" Boy, I hope that's not true..... yet I fear it's all too so. Hmmm, maybe I need to find another hobby.... that I don't have time for ;-)
Yet with all of this, no time for wallowing or deep thought. Survival of the fittest, back in action.
Newly favored band piece - "Sleep" by Eric Whitacre.
Saturday, January 03, 2009
Friday, January 02, 2009
Pride and Prejudice
I LOVE this movie !!!! Not the one with Kiera Knightly mind you, the older BBC version with Colin Firth ( another personal favorite).
If not inclined to watch based upon my fervor, watch as a cultural expression or just because you might have many hours to kill and in some part enjoy that period of time. It is one of those that give you tingles in your fingers it's so good.
A persons character is crucial in developing relationship and this movie does a great job of exploring that via a compelling story.
Character.... now there's another topic. It would be interesting to see what people thought of others character, but I suppose the only ways to know that are truthful disclosure and, heaven forbid, gossip.
Ok, back to the movie. (That's for me, not you :-))
BTW - I am writing this from my condo now furnished with Internet. Praise techies !!!!!!
Thursday, January 01, 2009
And it keeps going and going
Let me preface this by thanking all those places with Wi-Fi. Thank you for feeding the addiction....
As the diarrhea of thought pours out and onto this blog, I get a chance to read and hear what others may hear from me. Hmmmmm…. Interesting.
Ok, so the last entry. I can clearly understand how in a discussion someone may think that I am bitter. I swear I am not. Trying to figure something out, yes perhaps, but not bitter. The element that was missing from the entry was simple, yet obviously easily overlooked – tact. I am a firm believer that not only what you say but the manner in which you say it means a lot. I’ll digress to that specific soapbox latter.
But back to the whole “truth” idea. I think it is beneficial philosophy, although at the moment, yes, also a little self serving. Good truth is always easy to speak – I love this coffee, your house is beautiful, you look great, etc. There’s no harm in saying such things and sharing good news many times can feel good to the deliverer as well as the delivereree.
In areas of conflict or dissent, this isn’t the case, is it? It can be hard to say “You aren’t performing at the expected level” or “You don’t smell so good” or “ I don’t like you”. For some people, such talk comes far too easy, as if they don’t care at all how the receiving party may react. Granted, this may not always be a bad thing, but can’t be good for any relational dealing at the beginning. Only people who are aware of someone having such a trait and then being accepting of it can be in such a person’s close circles, I guess, but even they, I have to suspect, run the risk of getting hurt by such an inconsiderate brandishing tongue.
But, I think relationally speaking ,the truth is vital. From, “No, I don’t really like that restaurant very much but I’ll join you “ to “ I just don’t think things are working out anymore”. Both begin to prevent someone misconstruing the situation although both may also require further explanation to satisfy the other party…. or it may not. For me, more detail is required. ;-) “I don’t like that restaurant because the chicken is often overdone and the food is terribly overpriced” or “ I saw a waitress spit into someone’s drink and have been pretty turned off ever since” or “ I had stomach issues after my last visit there”. None of these explanations may change the other parties mind, but at least then they know that there is a reason for the statement, and that makes the statement easier to understand and even accept.
For the other statement, things like, “ We’ve been arguing a great deal lately and I’m beginning to feel uncomfortable getting together” or “ I don’t feel we share enough common interests to make this work” or “ I have had some great times with you, but I don’t feel that special something that would make me want to work at this relationship for the long haul.” or “ I don’t feel intimately attracted to you” - these may do the trick.
Of course any one of those reasons may hurt the other person, but so could them not knowing. I can’t imagine being intimate with someone who was thinking “ I don’t feel intimately attracted to you” once, more or less several times, just because the person couldn’t say it. And if it did happen once and then someone fessed up... well chalk it up to a "learning experience" and hope it was good. Besides, if someone really feels that way, there’s the strong likelihood the experience itself would be fairly miserable for the other person as well.
The more negative the news, the more difficult it can be to share, especially if care any iota about the person. But to me, "that" is the news that can help answer the deadly, perpetual question, “Why?”
I don’t know if guys brood over this question like girls do, but girls do. “Why did he break up with me?” “Why does he like her?” “Why didn’t he call?” “Why did he say that?” Why didn’t he say this?” “Why doesn’t he like me?”
The girl most likely would not like the answer to many of these questions, or the answer could be quite innocuous, but the girl is asking. If negative, truth may bring unsettled or unpleasant feelings, but the question was answered. It’s not knowing that can drive people insane and it’s not knowing that drives people to educate themselves. In relationships, that can develop into tenuous situations.
What are people entitled to know and what aren’t they? I have no idea. Ok, that’s not entirely honest. I’m not going to tell a stranger that my personal relationship is moving to quickly and I’m not sure what to do, but I may tell a trusted co-worker. I also realize that’s just me. I think the depth or potential value of a relationship can be partly determined by either parties ability and willingness to share information with one another.
Sterile information holds no risk. “Weather is great. Today is Monday. Toshiba is a good brand.” But, “I’m getting a divorce”, or “I’m thinking of quitting my job," or "Things aren’t so great financially” these are a little more personal. More risk is involved. And then when you get to “He’s cheating on me”, “ I feel ________ “, “ I need ________” these are very personal and a high risk. These statements imply trust. I guess sometimes the outspoken may give this trust to an unwilling participant??
From the feminine perspective, to trust a person with non personal facts, aka small talk is inconsequential. To trust one with feelings and thereby part of themselves, this is crucial and necessary, but also scary. I don’t know whether guys thinks of feelings this way, but let me guarantee that it is so. For a recipient of such sentiment and to handle it in obtuse, obscure ways is the like for a person to key to a precious automobile or to take a 5 year developed program and change every third word of code to “butt” and delete the last years efforts, just for the hell of it. It's just as detrimental as being cruel, if not more so.... it's just the passive way of doing it. ( and I sadly know that I have done that myself)
As the diarrhea of thought pours out and onto this blog, I get a chance to read and hear what others may hear from me. Hmmmmm…. Interesting.
Ok, so the last entry. I can clearly understand how in a discussion someone may think that I am bitter. I swear I am not. Trying to figure something out, yes perhaps, but not bitter. The element that was missing from the entry was simple, yet obviously easily overlooked – tact. I am a firm believer that not only what you say but the manner in which you say it means a lot. I’ll digress to that specific soapbox latter.
But back to the whole “truth” idea. I think it is beneficial philosophy, although at the moment, yes, also a little self serving. Good truth is always easy to speak – I love this coffee, your house is beautiful, you look great, etc. There’s no harm in saying such things and sharing good news many times can feel good to the deliverer as well as the delivereree.
In areas of conflict or dissent, this isn’t the case, is it? It can be hard to say “You aren’t performing at the expected level” or “You don’t smell so good” or “ I don’t like you”. For some people, such talk comes far too easy, as if they don’t care at all how the receiving party may react. Granted, this may not always be a bad thing, but can’t be good for any relational dealing at the beginning. Only people who are aware of someone having such a trait and then being accepting of it can be in such a person’s close circles, I guess, but even they, I have to suspect, run the risk of getting hurt by such an inconsiderate brandishing tongue.
But, I think relationally speaking ,the truth is vital. From, “No, I don’t really like that restaurant very much but I’ll join you “ to “ I just don’t think things are working out anymore”. Both begin to prevent someone misconstruing the situation although both may also require further explanation to satisfy the other party…. or it may not. For me, more detail is required. ;-) “I don’t like that restaurant because the chicken is often overdone and the food is terribly overpriced” or “ I saw a waitress spit into someone’s drink and have been pretty turned off ever since” or “ I had stomach issues after my last visit there”. None of these explanations may change the other parties mind, but at least then they know that there is a reason for the statement, and that makes the statement easier to understand and even accept.
For the other statement, things like, “ We’ve been arguing a great deal lately and I’m beginning to feel uncomfortable getting together” or “ I don’t feel we share enough common interests to make this work” or “ I have had some great times with you, but I don’t feel that special something that would make me want to work at this relationship for the long haul.” or “ I don’t feel intimately attracted to you” - these may do the trick.
Of course any one of those reasons may hurt the other person, but so could them not knowing. I can’t imagine being intimate with someone who was thinking “ I don’t feel intimately attracted to you” once, more or less several times, just because the person couldn’t say it. And if it did happen once and then someone fessed up... well chalk it up to a "learning experience" and hope it was good. Besides, if someone really feels that way, there’s the strong likelihood the experience itself would be fairly miserable for the other person as well.
The more negative the news, the more difficult it can be to share, especially if care any iota about the person. But to me, "that" is the news that can help answer the deadly, perpetual question, “Why?”
I don’t know if guys brood over this question like girls do, but girls do. “Why did he break up with me?” “Why does he like her?” “Why didn’t he call?” “Why did he say that?” Why didn’t he say this?” “Why doesn’t he like me?”
The girl most likely would not like the answer to many of these questions, or the answer could be quite innocuous, but the girl is asking. If negative, truth may bring unsettled or unpleasant feelings, but the question was answered. It’s not knowing that can drive people insane and it’s not knowing that drives people to educate themselves. In relationships, that can develop into tenuous situations.
What are people entitled to know and what aren’t they? I have no idea. Ok, that’s not entirely honest. I’m not going to tell a stranger that my personal relationship is moving to quickly and I’m not sure what to do, but I may tell a trusted co-worker. I also realize that’s just me. I think the depth or potential value of a relationship can be partly determined by either parties ability and willingness to share information with one another.
Sterile information holds no risk. “Weather is great. Today is Monday. Toshiba is a good brand.” But, “I’m getting a divorce”, or “I’m thinking of quitting my job," or "Things aren’t so great financially” these are a little more personal. More risk is involved. And then when you get to “He’s cheating on me”, “ I feel ________ “, “ I need ________” these are very personal and a high risk. These statements imply trust. I guess sometimes the outspoken may give this trust to an unwilling participant??
From the feminine perspective, to trust a person with non personal facts, aka small talk is inconsequential. To trust one with feelings and thereby part of themselves, this is crucial and necessary, but also scary. I don’t know whether guys thinks of feelings this way, but let me guarantee that it is so. For a recipient of such sentiment and to handle it in obtuse, obscure ways is the like for a person to key to a precious automobile or to take a 5 year developed program and change every third word of code to “butt” and delete the last years efforts, just for the hell of it. It's just as detrimental as being cruel, if not more so.... it's just the passive way of doing it. ( and I sadly know that I have done that myself)
That, the value of sentiment, may be one of the differences between men and women, but the understanding has to be there, or at least a valiant attempt at it. This is what I feel is meant when they say “One should treasure the other”. And ladies, we must learn to appreciate the man's space and tools too :-) The "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" book does a nice job of discussing this.
Ok, as expected, I have left one topic and am not quite sure in what direction this next rambling is headed, so I will stop. Why? Because I feel I have belabored this topic enough today and, when I am ready to think on it again, want to at least have some feeling of purpose and direction of the topic……. Even if it all could just be kaka. ☺
Ok, as expected, I have left one topic and am not quite sure in what direction this next rambling is headed, so I will stop. Why? Because I feel I have belabored this topic enough today and, when I am ready to think on it again, want to at least have some feeling of purpose and direction of the topic……. Even if it all could just be kaka. ☺
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