Tell it to yourself again

"The one thing in life you can control is your attitude."I can't credit the person who said this. Maybe there have been many, but I do believe that the sentiment is true, although a times quite a difficult task.

I wonder if that means that you can control you brain too?? You know, those times that your initial reaction or your thoughts or feelings lead you in one direction, but you ascribe a different "spin" to it, give yourself a party line to follow in the hopes that your eventually believe it. I think people do this all the time. "fate" "this is the way it has to be" "this is for the best" "I don't expect" "I'll take you at your word" etc.

I do this sometimes. Is it lying? Saying what I have reasoned to be true, saying what is or seems to be the best, but not totally believing all of it.... yet.

Let's take a situation. You are getting a review from your boss. In a way, you do respect your boss and want he/she to respect your work and maybe even you. Yet you prepare yourself for less than desired dialogue. You prompt yourself with the idea, "I don't really care what they think. I just want a raise" You might even be more honest with yourself by saying," I hope they say something good, but if they don't, it's not that big of deal. I don't care what they think. I just want the raise."

This is self protection, right? The self preservation party line. You really do care, you just don't want to leave that piece of control to them. You really do want them to say something good and it will effect you if they say something negative. You just don't want to admit it or acknowledge that it's true. You don't want to give them that power over how you feel. You give yourself the line to try and make yourself believe that it isn't true.

So, in the spirit of "you have control of everything that happens to you", should you always be truthful of your mind and heart or is subscribing to the socialist self preservation party allowed? Can you be truthful to yourself while not matching the truth of heart and mind to the sound of word? Saying things in total contradiction to the felt truth. Or if you hope what your saying will be true, is that sincere enough. Saying things that create a safe situation. It's not totally the truth, but eventually you hope it will be.

Can you really say, "I don't expect you to do _________, but I want you to do _____. I will wonder if you don't, and be hurt for awhile, but it will most likely go away." I don't think I can. It would come out like, "Eh, do what you want. It doesn't matter. " Maybe after saying that awhile though, you'll start to believe it. And then, it is the truth.

Just say it to yourself again and again.