Have you ever had a task set before you and you didn't want to do it?? Yeah, well, that's why this entry exists. I am sitting at my desk avoiding the pressing duties of my job, because they aren't at critical mass yet and.... I don't feel like doing them. Strong rationale, I know. :-(
Anyway, the choir has just completed their final hurrah concert of the year. So much work went into it besides the rehearsal. Our tech guy has had surgery so he's out of commission and the choir takes this performance off site - doubling the amount of technological work needed to be done by non- technological people. Well, the directors and the kids started set up at 7:30 am the day before the concert. They then went to school and rehearsed at the performance site that evening. The next day they performed 2 shows and tore down with the evening concluding maybe close to 11-11:30pm.
Well today I visited the choir director's classroom/ office to congratulate my colleague on a job well done. I had seen the second show with my little guy and, due to trying to maintain a reasonable bedtime, we left before the show was over. So I go to her room only to find her crying. Never good.
She expressed that she was exhausted, which of course annihilates a female's emotional barometer. That and, in the flurry of set up, performing, and tear down, her student's failed to recognize her at the end of the concert. This is a HUGE deal as every year for the last 5 years, the graduating choir students come up on stage at the end of the concert and offer kind words and a gift of gratitude. They aren't prompted to do it, they just do. In fact, they created that precedent. Band kids didn't start that until last year and are still quite awkward at it. ( it's still pretty cool though :-) ) Choir folk are a little more sentimental/ touchy feely that way anyway. Band kids, a high five and a hand shake goes for miles. A hug is like monumental.
Anyway, no such demonstration occurred. Although it's not fair to expect such a display, a precedent had been set and the current seniors notably did not follow suit. She noticed this and is left to wonder why. Rational thought may be that there was too much to do to organize such a thing, or that they just forgot, or the worst scenario, they didn't want to. She doesn't want to be hurt by this, but.... how can she not be. She's human and has invested so much time and effort, and in her case, honest love for the well being of her students. She did all this without the expectation of acknowledgment yet it's absence is felt. What's worse is that other folk commented to her their notice of the absence of a thank you. So she partly insinuated that those people are saying that this class did not "like" her as well as her others. ( there's no real reason to think that) So not only did she notice it, but is was noticed, and worse yet commented on by others.
Being away from it, I can see maybe more than she can right now, but I still know what she is feeling. How do you keep from expecting?? People do what they do for whatever reasons lie within them, but how do you dismiss all need for gratitude, all want of the acknowledgment that someone gives a damn?? And even if it had been done every year for how many years, how do you not be hurt when it isn't once... or twice? Maybe this is how people feel when family forgets a birthday? Perhaps not the best comparison.
Is it really possible to try and have no expectation of others while you hold such great expectation of yourself? Is that even realistic ?? Or is it better just to not ever give a damn? Then what others do or don't do has no meaning..... right?
She'll get over it and I am confident her seniors will acknowledge the meaning of her work and care... of simply of "her" over the next few days. But, I wish they knew how the oversight or absence of intent hurt her now. She has invested so much into them. Time, energy, thought, concern, family invovlement, administrative intersession.....etc.
Oh, what they don't know.....
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