Today was a Sunday like any other. My son woke up at least an hour before I intended to. He crawled into bed beside me, and, instead of resting quietly as he said he would, he gave me every ten minute update. When I finally decided to claim defeat he then informed me of the days agenda ( all of which I amend mind you. I'm not a complete pushover)
We ate breakfast around 9am ( which is pretty late, for him anyway) I simply reheated some frozen french toast and pancakes I had made earlier in the week and nuked some bacon. After we both cleaned up ( he is VERY helpful with that) I went on to some house stuff while he watched Playhouse Disney.
One of the chores on the dole was to clean the hamster's cage. ( that's not pretty folks) Upon beginning this task, I realized we had no bedding to lay in the bottom, so off to the pet store we go.
We got the "fluff and stuff" ( which I can best describe as resembling what regurgitated cardboard might look like) and were heading to leave when we saw the kitty corral towards the front of the store. He insisted that we go in, so, we did.
So many cats. Some were really adorable too. One reminded me of a calico I had when I was little. (My cat's name was Willow, but for some reason, I couldn't say that so I called him Bee-boo. He was an outdoor cat. Not the friendliest of creatures, but likeable and amusing nonetheless.) There was also a very cute black and brown Himalayan. Very friendly and rather passive. She was about to be adopted. There was a tabby who had one removed due to infection. The caretaker told us her name was "blinky" which I found humorous and mildly cruel at the same time.
We spent over 30 minutes in the 'kitty visiting center', when my son asks, " Can we take one home?" I actually had to think for a minute, but then my answer came rather succinctly; " I'm sorry but no". The "why's" were all truthful and in place for further inquiry:
A) his father can't stand cats and we still all reside together.
TANGENT - But he has been away for the past week, and although there has been more to do, it has been a rather calm existence. This whole split thing might just be a blessing. / TANGENT.
B) I brought no money for a pet adoption
C) I have never maintained a cat on my own. That was always my mom's thing. And when I was old enough to actually help in the caretaking, we had dogs. I'd actually love to have a dog, but I know that I often have to fight to be home to take care of my little boy. I can't imagine leaving a puppy alone in a house, and possibly a cage, for 9-10 hours a day. That's just cruel. Anyway, I'd just like to get some info and do a little research before leaping in and getting a cat.
Perhaps when I get my own place I might consider a feline friend. I also suppose I need to make sure that my son isn't allergic, as I was for a long time after our cat died. I think I still am, but very mildly. Nothing a dose of Benedryl and eye drops can't handle.
We left with our hamster carpet and proceeded to the toy store. We needed to look and see what he wanted to ask Santa to bring for Christmas. This was very good. Santa now feels better informed to make a good decision. I also allowed him to take some money from his piggy for a toy. If the toy he wanted was more expensive than the $$ he brought, I would match up to the amount he had. This worked rather well. And, yes, I did cap the amount of money he could take from the pig.
From there, it was home to clean the cage, noodle for a little bit, and prepare dinner for us and my sister. The night concluded with the usual drone of clean up, pj's, bathroom routine, story time and nightly bedtime negotiations. ( he's going to be lawyer) The better part of the latter half of the night was that my sis came by and I prepared a little dinner for her, as well as some moderately yummy cinnamon buns. Mmmm.
Well, that's it for excitement. Tomorrow begins a full 5 day week of school and a concert on Thursday. Yipppeee.
Better be off to bed.
To any reader - Sorry for the humdrum. Still working on that super exciting, scandalous, riveting story. Did I mention I cleaned the bathrooms? :-) A story for another time, perhaps.
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Friday, November 24, 2006
Uninspired
It's been a little while since I have written, so I thought I'd take a brief moment to rectify that. I was truly hoping for some great epiphany or wonderful source of inspiration to befall, but no such luck. Here instead is a brief recap of the daily drone.
This past week has been fair. Monday and Tuesday were in-service days ( days when teachers are bludgeoned with education propaganda and such) I went to the Dr on Monday for the back trauma. The great skilled doctor merely prescribed a ton of meds including a steroid, pain killer and muscle relaxant. Yeah, productive week. I am seeing a different doctor this coming week. The pain has receded, but the source is still unknown.
Wednesday I took my first attempt at making an apple pie. Not being a master of the culinary arts, this was quite a feat. That, plus my mother makes a kick-ass pie herself. That being true, I merely consulted her often. I am happy to report that the product was edible and somewhat pleasantly so.
Today, little C and I went to see Little Feet. Cute. Great animation. Some very funny moments. The story was fair, but I've seen worse from the warm fuzzy movie types.
As for right now, I think I am going to retire to the book I am reading. It's this guys narrative about the time he read the entire Encyclopedia Britannica. I wasn't sure at first, but it's turning out to be a great combo of casual humor and interesting nerdy trivia.
Here's hoping for an epiphany.
Happy Holidays folks !!
This past week has been fair. Monday and Tuesday were in-service days ( days when teachers are bludgeoned with education propaganda and such) I went to the Dr on Monday for the back trauma. The great skilled doctor merely prescribed a ton of meds including a steroid, pain killer and muscle relaxant. Yeah, productive week. I am seeing a different doctor this coming week. The pain has receded, but the source is still unknown.
Wednesday I took my first attempt at making an apple pie. Not being a master of the culinary arts, this was quite a feat. That, plus my mother makes a kick-ass pie herself. That being true, I merely consulted her often. I am happy to report that the product was edible and somewhat pleasantly so.
Today, little C and I went to see Little Feet. Cute. Great animation. Some very funny moments. The story was fair, but I've seen worse from the warm fuzzy movie types.
As for right now, I think I am going to retire to the book I am reading. It's this guys narrative about the time he read the entire Encyclopedia Britannica. I wasn't sure at first, but it's turning out to be a great combo of casual humor and interesting nerdy trivia.
Here's hoping for an epiphany.
Happy Holidays folks !!
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Number next
There has so much going on as of late, it's hard to know where to start.
#1 - back issues - Ugh, this is driving me crazy. Several years ago I was diagnosed with a bulging disk (not quite herniated) for which I went to physical therapy. The last few months I've had this sporadic lower back pain that just hurts. This past week, it has come back and it's almost debilitating. I'll sit for 15 minutes, and when I get up, I can't stand straight. My shoulders will go back, but it's like my pelvis won't rotate forward so that the rest of my back will straighten. It's both a little unnerving and highly annoying. I'll see a doctor, as soon as I get a minute to, or if it gets to emergency status. There are 3 more musical theater performances to go and I can't really not be there for them. All I hope is that they can take some little hammer thing to my back and fix whatever the trouble is.
#2 - Margins - Have you ever felt overwhelmed? It seems as if I have lived 3 months of overwhelmed, but I am sure that there are others in much worse situations that me. Anyway, I went to a senior student character seminar where they discussed the idea of keeping "margins" with the students. They defined margin as what you are not obligated to do. For instance, your job and all other commitments are the writing in your life's textbook. The margin is where you collect your thoughts and place what you want to do or maintain free space. The speaker commented on how intimidating a book might appear if it had no margins. Perhaps life is the same. In this session, they had you take the total hours of a week 168 I think it was and subtract what your life takes. Here was mine;
168
12x5=work (during the musical that's 16) 60
4x1 = weekend work 4
2x4 = pers. rehearsal and concerts 8
8x7 = sleep 56
4x2 = housekeeping/laundry 8
3x7 = cooking +eating 21
2x2 = grocery and other shopping 4
161
Hmmm. I guess I could sleep less, but it really doesn't come out to 8 a night. Sometimes it more like 5 on some weekdays and then 10 on a weekend. Besides, I like sleep :-) As for TV, when do I watch tv.... that'd be once a week for a half hour, if I can keep my eyes open. This all goes back to my previous thoughts on free time. I hate the prospect of having nothing to do. The argument to that is, there are times when I can't plan for those things that I need to plan for in order to do, uh, like my classes or reflecting on things done or projecting future goals. ( I say that as I write this while I am listening to jazz tunes for my jazz class tomorrow)
Oh yeah, and I have a kid. Don't see that in that schedule do you? Lucky for me, he actually gets a little of that sleep time ( by giving me the countdown to when I am supposed to get up. That sounds like," What time are you getting up?", "8", "Ok, it is 7:35. You have 25 minutes until you get up", " Thank you". Five minutes later, " You have 20 minutes until you have to get up". "It's 7:45. Only fifteen minutes until you get up"... you get the idea) and combos cleaning and grocery time too. But that 7 hours remaining, as much of that goes to him as it can, which on weekends, is a pretty big chunk. Thank goodness for Mr. Biggs and parks. It's honestly not enough time though and rarely doesn't seem rushed.
But really, margins. There's an idea that might be nice to contemplate. People can't do it all (oh yeah, watch me) Honestly though, what can go in order to get some wiggle room? Which sacrifices are better?
It's all a little overwhelming to even consider.
Lastly, I am in the process of brainstorming a video presentation to present to my senior students. This is the first class of seniors of whom I have taught for all four years. They are remarkable people and I want to offer tribute to them by doing a video presentation. I'll keep piecing that sucker together.
That'll have to come after the concert we have in 2 weeks and the planning for the 2 concerts, and five festivals following that. Sweet !!
As for forward glances, can't wait to see Little Feet. A penguin with a groove. Pretty cool.
That's a glimpse of the now. Who-hoo. Time for bed.
#1 - back issues - Ugh, this is driving me crazy. Several years ago I was diagnosed with a bulging disk (not quite herniated) for which I went to physical therapy. The last few months I've had this sporadic lower back pain that just hurts. This past week, it has come back and it's almost debilitating. I'll sit for 15 minutes, and when I get up, I can't stand straight. My shoulders will go back, but it's like my pelvis won't rotate forward so that the rest of my back will straighten. It's both a little unnerving and highly annoying. I'll see a doctor, as soon as I get a minute to, or if it gets to emergency status. There are 3 more musical theater performances to go and I can't really not be there for them. All I hope is that they can take some little hammer thing to my back and fix whatever the trouble is.
#2 - Margins - Have you ever felt overwhelmed? It seems as if I have lived 3 months of overwhelmed, but I am sure that there are others in much worse situations that me. Anyway, I went to a senior student character seminar where they discussed the idea of keeping "margins" with the students. They defined margin as what you are not obligated to do. For instance, your job and all other commitments are the writing in your life's textbook. The margin is where you collect your thoughts and place what you want to do or maintain free space. The speaker commented on how intimidating a book might appear if it had no margins. Perhaps life is the same. In this session, they had you take the total hours of a week 168 I think it was and subtract what your life takes. Here was mine;
168
12x5=work (during the musical that's 16) 60
4x1 = weekend work 4
2x4 = pers. rehearsal and concerts 8
8x7 = sleep 56
4x2 = housekeeping/laundry 8
3x7 = cooking +eating 21
2x2 = grocery and other shopping 4
161
Hmmm. I guess I could sleep less, but it really doesn't come out to 8 a night. Sometimes it more like 5 on some weekdays and then 10 on a weekend. Besides, I like sleep :-) As for TV, when do I watch tv.... that'd be once a week for a half hour, if I can keep my eyes open. This all goes back to my previous thoughts on free time. I hate the prospect of having nothing to do. The argument to that is, there are times when I can't plan for those things that I need to plan for in order to do, uh, like my classes or reflecting on things done or projecting future goals. ( I say that as I write this while I am listening to jazz tunes for my jazz class tomorrow)
Oh yeah, and I have a kid. Don't see that in that schedule do you? Lucky for me, he actually gets a little of that sleep time ( by giving me the countdown to when I am supposed to get up. That sounds like," What time are you getting up?", "8", "Ok, it is 7:35. You have 25 minutes until you get up", " Thank you". Five minutes later, " You have 20 minutes until you have to get up". "It's 7:45. Only fifteen minutes until you get up"... you get the idea) and combos cleaning and grocery time too. But that 7 hours remaining, as much of that goes to him as it can, which on weekends, is a pretty big chunk. Thank goodness for Mr. Biggs and parks. It's honestly not enough time though and rarely doesn't seem rushed.
But really, margins. There's an idea that might be nice to contemplate. People can't do it all (oh yeah, watch me) Honestly though, what can go in order to get some wiggle room? Which sacrifices are better?
It's all a little overwhelming to even consider.
Lastly, I am in the process of brainstorming a video presentation to present to my senior students. This is the first class of seniors of whom I have taught for all four years. They are remarkable people and I want to offer tribute to them by doing a video presentation. I'll keep piecing that sucker together.
That'll have to come after the concert we have in 2 weeks and the planning for the 2 concerts, and five festivals following that. Sweet !!
As for forward glances, can't wait to see Little Feet. A penguin with a groove. Pretty cool.
That's a glimpse of the now. Who-hoo. Time for bed.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
A little funny
Love my high school students....
Today, we are having a rehearsal and the percussionists are "noodling" (i.e. - playing softly when they are not supposed to be playing at all) on the mallet instruments. A little preoccupied, I say, " Percussion, stop tinkeling" Hmm. One of my senior trumpet players then asks partly in jest and part serious, " Ms.S, do you know that tinkling is a reference to urinating ?".
"Yeah. What's your point?"
Next time I'll say, "So, if I say it sounds like crap right now, will that be misunderstood?" My money sits on the reply will be, "Depends on what section you are talking about."
Pushing the envelope just a little.... and a few sharp wits. These are a few of my favorite things......
Today, we are having a rehearsal and the percussionists are "noodling" (i.e. - playing softly when they are not supposed to be playing at all) on the mallet instruments. A little preoccupied, I say, " Percussion, stop tinkeling" Hmm. One of my senior trumpet players then asks partly in jest and part serious, " Ms.S, do you know that tinkling is a reference to urinating ?".
"Yeah. What's your point?"
Next time I'll say, "So, if I say it sounds like crap right now, will that be misunderstood?" My money sits on the reply will be, "Depends on what section you are talking about."
Pushing the envelope just a little.... and a few sharp wits. These are a few of my favorite things......
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Boys will be boys
I tell myself that I'm ready to raise a little boy....
Then I get things like this over email. (There were also some tremendous pictures, but I don't know how to transfer them here.) These are the things people don't share to expecting parents or ones with super little guys. Wonder why? ;-)
And you also find out interesting things when you have sons, like...
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft.
house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a
crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and
a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint
can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to th row the ball up a
few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a
long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a
baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's
already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed w ith Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even
though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certai n Lego's wi ll pass through the digestive tract of a 4-
year old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same
sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you
still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool fi lters d o not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV
commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys
do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response
time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make
earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their
friends, with or without kids.
25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
Hmmmm. Then again, maybe not.
Then I get things like this over email. (There were also some tremendous pictures, but I don't know how to transfer them here.) These are the things people don't share to expecting parents or ones with super little guys. Wonder why? ;-)
And you also find out interesting things when you have sons, like...
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft.
house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a
crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and
a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint
can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to th row the ball up a
few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a
long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a
baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's
already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed w ith Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even
though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certai n Lego's wi ll pass through the digestive tract of a 4-
year old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same
sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you
still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool fi lters d o not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV
commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys
do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response
time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make
earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their
friends, with or without kids.
25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
Hmmmm. Then again, maybe not.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
In the reflecting mirror
Well, it's now a 4 day run of being awake from 5:30 am to 11:30pm and working 7-10:30..... except for Halloween of course. As I am a sleeper, fatigue level is very high.
For today's news... Sometimes teaching adolescents gives you a chance to see things in a different light.
As of today, 2 of my students are having "trauma". One is being a little cruel to another and the other is shutting down. I get this information from the one who is pulling away. She states that her friend is being very bossy and rude, insulting her and others. To cut this epic short, I became haunted by that "Dear Margo" email. I don't think the one friend wants to cut off the other, but she doesn't want to confront or address the problem. She's not totally in the right either, but her friend isn't making things easy. The other is very bright, bull headed, self justified and honestly, a little immature. Talk about it? Let it drop and fade? Abandon completely? I advised her to give it a little time and to eventually discuss it. If it blows up, she can end this friendship without feeling totally badly about the decision. As strongly as I felt about that "Margo" entry, now I'm not sure. High maintenance people... who knows one of those ;-). If she doesn't see or experience any positives from being with or around the other person, maybe it is best to bail. Going to school with her everyday may complicate matters though.
After this girl had recounted some of her issues and left, I couldn't help but flash into other thoughts. (Self analyzing? I never do that.;-) ) ;
The danger of sarcasm - people don't know when you are serious or not. I LIVE this one. I have been in several encounters where people don't know that I am being sarcastic OR don't ask if they think I was being cruel. This is very dangerous when one uses sarcasm often..... and has an inclination for a biting tongue. I'm not saying being sarcastic is a good way to be, but, sometimes in moderation, it can make things amusing and sometimes lighten the mood.
People who come off as super critical that don't mean to be and don't think before they speak - (Eh hem) Sometimes people state unsolicited opinions of things timed in such a manner, or about things that another might find critical or offensive. They aren't really meant to be that way, but perhaps more caution should be taken before speaking about something someone holds dear. Hard to do, unless you know what another does value, so perhaps greater attention should be paid to that too. Ever goat someone just to get under someone's skin a little bit and attempt to engage them in a conversation? Not a great technique, but again, it can open some doors when taken as bait for fun banter and debate rather than criticism.
And then there are just the over-reactors.- I think, in general, women have a greater propensity towards this than men. Hormones. :-(. Take a little something and put 20 other meanings and motivations to it. Yeah, I NEVER do that. ( note bolt of lightening and growing nose)
I like to see these situations play out and see what happens. However, if I don't get a little sleep soon, the ability to be as rational as I am able will be greatly diminished. I can see it now. Any ability to listen without judgment or bias will be totally gone and my advice to all will be, "Suck it up or tell 'em to kiss your ass". Yup. That oughta guarantee me a contract and a raise for next year.
Kids.
For today's news... Sometimes teaching adolescents gives you a chance to see things in a different light.
As of today, 2 of my students are having "trauma". One is being a little cruel to another and the other is shutting down. I get this information from the one who is pulling away. She states that her friend is being very bossy and rude, insulting her and others. To cut this epic short, I became haunted by that "Dear Margo" email. I don't think the one friend wants to cut off the other, but she doesn't want to confront or address the problem. She's not totally in the right either, but her friend isn't making things easy. The other is very bright, bull headed, self justified and honestly, a little immature. Talk about it? Let it drop and fade? Abandon completely? I advised her to give it a little time and to eventually discuss it. If it blows up, she can end this friendship without feeling totally badly about the decision. As strongly as I felt about that "Margo" entry, now I'm not sure. High maintenance people... who knows one of those ;-). If she doesn't see or experience any positives from being with or around the other person, maybe it is best to bail. Going to school with her everyday may complicate matters though.
After this girl had recounted some of her issues and left, I couldn't help but flash into other thoughts. (Self analyzing? I never do that.;-) ) ;
The danger of sarcasm - people don't know when you are serious or not. I LIVE this one. I have been in several encounters where people don't know that I am being sarcastic OR don't ask if they think I was being cruel. This is very dangerous when one uses sarcasm often..... and has an inclination for a biting tongue. I'm not saying being sarcastic is a good way to be, but, sometimes in moderation, it can make things amusing and sometimes lighten the mood.
People who come off as super critical that don't mean to be and don't think before they speak - (Eh hem) Sometimes people state unsolicited opinions of things timed in such a manner, or about things that another might find critical or offensive. They aren't really meant to be that way, but perhaps more caution should be taken before speaking about something someone holds dear. Hard to do, unless you know what another does value, so perhaps greater attention should be paid to that too. Ever goat someone just to get under someone's skin a little bit and attempt to engage them in a conversation? Not a great technique, but again, it can open some doors when taken as bait for fun banter and debate rather than criticism.
And then there are just the over-reactors.- I think, in general, women have a greater propensity towards this than men. Hormones. :-(. Take a little something and put 20 other meanings and motivations to it. Yeah, I NEVER do that. ( note bolt of lightening and growing nose)
I like to see these situations play out and see what happens. However, if I don't get a little sleep soon, the ability to be as rational as I am able will be greatly diminished. I can see it now. Any ability to listen without judgment or bias will be totally gone and my advice to all will be, "Suck it up or tell 'em to kiss your ass". Yup. That oughta guarantee me a contract and a raise for next year.
Kids.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Halloween in the arctic
My son, my sister and I headed out for a little " trick or treating" tonight. Before doing so, we had to prepare with our gloves, hats, long johns, handwarmers, etc because it was around 30 degrees. Here, it seems tradition to be pretty darn cold on Halloween. 3 years ago, there was a thin layer of ice on the ground which made walking from house to house somewhat of a scary experience itself. These are the time I miss East coast Octobers...... and wish we had a fireplace.
The little boy went as the RED ranger from the Power Rangers. Being the slackers we are, my sister wore an old Fed Ex uniform and I wore one of her old lab coats, a stethoscope, and a ball cap. Nobody was sure if I was going for a doctor or a butcher, but I wanted the ball cap for warmth.
The folks in this neighborhood are awesome about this time of year. Scores of homes were participating and many had decorated their homes with either Halloween or fall decor.
2 of the houses we visited had a scary scene set up. In one, they had their garage open, draped with black sheets and things glowing due to a black light. 2 witches were there and were rather friendly. They didn't scare the little guy at all. Sitting in a chair was a scarecrow with his head bent over and a bowl of candy in his lap. The witches told the kids to get the candy from the bowl. As they reached into it, the 'scarecrow' came alive. He lifted his head to show his pale lined face and grabbed the kids arms. Oh my. That sure took my guy by surprise. He wasn't even sure how to react - whether to scream or cry. It didn't help that his aunt and myself were cracking up hysterically. I don't think he ever put the "trick" part into the equation. He recovered fairly quickly. I hope he'll get the hang of the whole "scary" theme as we go on. He's not currently a big fan of either pranks or the blood and guts thing.
Another highlight was one of the adult costumes. There was a guy in a "real" storm trooper costume - white everything - and even a voice changer. That costume was impressive. There was a gentleman at one of the houses we stopped at that was joking saying that the adults get into more than the kids. He then commented on what the storm trooper's outfit might have cost. Funny where adult minds go. Regardless, it was awesome.
After about an hour of freezing our butts off and then possessing a plastic pumpkin very full with candy, the Red ranger decided to call it a night. It's much nicer when your kid says he's had enough than to cut them off.
We returned home where he then proceeded to give out candy to tricker treaters who stopped by. All in all, a good night. Totally worth a little frost bite. :-)
The little boy went as the RED ranger from the Power Rangers. Being the slackers we are, my sister wore an old Fed Ex uniform and I wore one of her old lab coats, a stethoscope, and a ball cap. Nobody was sure if I was going for a doctor or a butcher, but I wanted the ball cap for warmth.
The folks in this neighborhood are awesome about this time of year. Scores of homes were participating and many had decorated their homes with either Halloween or fall decor.
2 of the houses we visited had a scary scene set up. In one, they had their garage open, draped with black sheets and things glowing due to a black light. 2 witches were there and were rather friendly. They didn't scare the little guy at all. Sitting in a chair was a scarecrow with his head bent over and a bowl of candy in his lap. The witches told the kids to get the candy from the bowl. As they reached into it, the 'scarecrow' came alive. He lifted his head to show his pale lined face and grabbed the kids arms. Oh my. That sure took my guy by surprise. He wasn't even sure how to react - whether to scream or cry. It didn't help that his aunt and myself were cracking up hysterically. I don't think he ever put the "trick" part into the equation. He recovered fairly quickly. I hope he'll get the hang of the whole "scary" theme as we go on. He's not currently a big fan of either pranks or the blood and guts thing.
Another highlight was one of the adult costumes. There was a guy in a "real" storm trooper costume - white everything - and even a voice changer. That costume was impressive. There was a gentleman at one of the houses we stopped at that was joking saying that the adults get into more than the kids. He then commented on what the storm trooper's outfit might have cost. Funny where adult minds go. Regardless, it was awesome.
After about an hour of freezing our butts off and then possessing a plastic pumpkin very full with candy, the Red ranger decided to call it a night. It's much nicer when your kid says he's had enough than to cut them off.
We returned home where he then proceeded to give out candy to tricker treaters who stopped by. All in all, a good night. Totally worth a little frost bite. :-)
Monday, October 30, 2006
So tell me what you want, what you really,really want
I want to go to my happy place. Sad thing is, I think I have misplaced the map... along with my briefcase :-(
The prospect of divorce makes one, me at least, over analyze every relationship you have or have had, looking for flaws or ones to emerge. Looking for what is bad and seeing if you are to blame for it. I've read that children go through this. I didn't know adults did as well. Even when the best of situations, it encourages thoughts of self doubt. I hope the journey proves to be worthwhile and not detrimental.
I can't help but think this may go back to reflect on the "narcissistic" side of me, but I'm going to rationalize that it is important for people to know what they want. Again, my wants go to relationships.
I just read a blog where a wife tells roughly ten things that she adores about her husband. Although a little cheesy :-), I think that is great. And by the sounds of it, I am fairly positive that the husband could return the favor.
My experience has not mirrored that. At one point, after marriage, my spouse and I tried to share what we wanted from a "partner". He said, ""physical relations no less than once a week and a hot meal on the table" I think he meant this to reflect he did not have tremendous expectation, but my reaction to it was insult. I want more than that. He says that is being selfish. His expectations are supposedly easy to meet and will show that one cares.
Uh.... I want to be more to someone than that and I don't consider what I want to be icing. I almost feel them compulsory. Whether what I want is real or attainable or not, that I still have to learn, but these are some things that I want from another (a friend or other) and that I want to be able to provide to others.
#1 - Someone who makes you want to be a better person. (boy that sounds super cheesy) You know, someone who inspires you to try harder, be better, think harder.
#2 - A helper - Someone who wants to be a help or who offers aid. I want to help others, but, for fear of interfering, I usually wait until asked. I also love people who actively want to help when they are able or when "they notice" it is greatly needed.
#3 - Reliable & trustworthy - When they say something will be done, it gets done or they acknowledge why it wasn't. Everyone drops a ball here and there. But sometimes, you do something because it's your integrity that is being defined or you apologize and explain why something wasn't done and make amends. The "blow off" kinda makes me angry.
#4 - Values people - this, I think, can be shown be the way people treat and talk about others. Sometimes I feel this can be pretty hard, especially when you get the impression that you are valueless to someone else.
#5 - Has the ability to be compassionate and understanding - Not a total "all about me" person - i.e. the one who always has a one up story or can not demonstrate sympathy/empathy for another.
#6 - Not overly judgmental or at least moderately so -
#7 - Has a sense of humor - a necessity. Anyone who can make someone laugh already touches them... as long as the laughter isn't in total ridicule. Besides, everyone should be able to laugh at themselves every once in a while. And anyone who knows me needs to know that what I speak can only be taken seriously or literally about 50% of the time... depending on the day.
#8 - A picker-upper - I say this feeling a bit in Debbie Downer mode myself, but someone who helps to see the better things or the good things rather than "always" pointing out the negative. One of those little things today was, on the way to work, I enjoyed playing "hit the tumbleweed" What fun !!!
#9 - Respectable - takes care of themselves ( without going crazy) and shows common courtesies when appropriate.
#10 - Able and willing to communicate - someone who can or will try to express their thoughts, opinions, and feelings on things.
#11 - Patience and Forgiveness - :-). Hmmm. Another definite necessity and a trait I struggle with myself.
# 12 - Able to admit they have erred. - harder than it sounds
#13 - Just enjoy the company of. - You can't prescribe this one. You do, or you don't.
I'm glad I have listed these things as it reminds me of things I need to do to improve myself as well. You can't ask people in your life to be everything you aren't. Give to get. Show to be shown. Do onto others.... you know how it goes.
It's a big order,huh? Although still probably incomplete. I'll just send it to "Friends and More R US" so that I can get this puppy filled. Ah, a puppy!!! Perhaps that is the solution.
Whatever the case, for me and these matters of relationships, it's time to lay low and regroup. I told an acquaintance of mine that I have a tendency to beat my head against walls until they either break down or until it hurts too much. ("recalcitrant" I think is a fancy word for it.) In these matters, my head is broken and bleeding and the walls still stand. It may be best to let these walls alone and survey for some pasture instead, while I mend what..... needs to be mended.
Regardless, I'm gonna give this wish list to Santa. ;-) Preferably a hot one. Can't hurt to hope a little.
The prospect of divorce makes one, me at least, over analyze every relationship you have or have had, looking for flaws or ones to emerge. Looking for what is bad and seeing if you are to blame for it. I've read that children go through this. I didn't know adults did as well. Even when the best of situations, it encourages thoughts of self doubt. I hope the journey proves to be worthwhile and not detrimental.
I can't help but think this may go back to reflect on the "narcissistic" side of me, but I'm going to rationalize that it is important for people to know what they want. Again, my wants go to relationships.
I just read a blog where a wife tells roughly ten things that she adores about her husband. Although a little cheesy :-), I think that is great. And by the sounds of it, I am fairly positive that the husband could return the favor.
My experience has not mirrored that. At one point, after marriage, my spouse and I tried to share what we wanted from a "partner". He said, ""physical relations no less than once a week and a hot meal on the table" I think he meant this to reflect he did not have tremendous expectation, but my reaction to it was insult. I want more than that. He says that is being selfish. His expectations are supposedly easy to meet and will show that one cares.
Uh.... I want to be more to someone than that and I don't consider what I want to be icing. I almost feel them compulsory. Whether what I want is real or attainable or not, that I still have to learn, but these are some things that I want from another (a friend or other) and that I want to be able to provide to others.
#1 - Someone who makes you want to be a better person. (boy that sounds super cheesy) You know, someone who inspires you to try harder, be better, think harder.
#2 - A helper - Someone who wants to be a help or who offers aid. I want to help others, but, for fear of interfering, I usually wait until asked. I also love people who actively want to help when they are able or when "they notice" it is greatly needed.
#3 - Reliable & trustworthy - When they say something will be done, it gets done or they acknowledge why it wasn't. Everyone drops a ball here and there. But sometimes, you do something because it's your integrity that is being defined or you apologize and explain why something wasn't done and make amends. The "blow off" kinda makes me angry.
#4 - Values people - this, I think, can be shown be the way people treat and talk about others. Sometimes I feel this can be pretty hard, especially when you get the impression that you are valueless to someone else.
#5 - Has the ability to be compassionate and understanding - Not a total "all about me" person - i.e. the one who always has a one up story or can not demonstrate sympathy/empathy for another.
#6 - Not overly judgmental or at least moderately so -
#7 - Has a sense of humor - a necessity. Anyone who can make someone laugh already touches them... as long as the laughter isn't in total ridicule. Besides, everyone should be able to laugh at themselves every once in a while. And anyone who knows me needs to know that what I speak can only be taken seriously or literally about 50% of the time... depending on the day.
#8 - A picker-upper - I say this feeling a bit in Debbie Downer mode myself, but someone who helps to see the better things or the good things rather than "always" pointing out the negative. One of those little things today was, on the way to work, I enjoyed playing "hit the tumbleweed" What fun !!!
#9 - Respectable - takes care of themselves ( without going crazy) and shows common courtesies when appropriate.
#10 - Able and willing to communicate - someone who can or will try to express their thoughts, opinions, and feelings on things.
#11 - Patience and Forgiveness - :-). Hmmm. Another definite necessity and a trait I struggle with myself.
# 12 - Able to admit they have erred. - harder than it sounds
#13 - Just enjoy the company of. - You can't prescribe this one. You do, or you don't.
I'm glad I have listed these things as it reminds me of things I need to do to improve myself as well. You can't ask people in your life to be everything you aren't. Give to get. Show to be shown. Do onto others.... you know how it goes.
It's a big order,huh? Although still probably incomplete. I'll just send it to "Friends and More R US" so that I can get this puppy filled. Ah, a puppy!!! Perhaps that is the solution.
Whatever the case, for me and these matters of relationships, it's time to lay low and regroup. I told an acquaintance of mine that I have a tendency to beat my head against walls until they either break down or until it hurts too much. ("recalcitrant" I think is a fancy word for it.) In these matters, my head is broken and bleeding and the walls still stand. It may be best to let these walls alone and survey for some pasture instead, while I mend what..... needs to be mended.
Regardless, I'm gonna give this wish list to Santa. ;-) Preferably a hot one. Can't hurt to hope a little.
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Other blogs of interest
There is this one blog that I love entitled "mad meyers". He has some very clever sayings and links to interesting things.
Here is one he had on his blog that is awesome for you "mechanically inclined" types. This at a party would be hilarious.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/84221353@N00/281833134/in/pool-make/
Here is one he had on his blog that is awesome for you "mechanically inclined" types. This at a party would be hilarious.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/84221353@N00/281833134/in/pool-make/
Change - and passive aggressiveness
Mood - It's a down day
Change - it's inevitable, right? But in some cases, I don't like it. That proably comes across as an over simplification, however, I don't think that makes it any less true.
I specifically don't like change when it comes to my interactions with other people. Let me be more clear - I don't like negative change when it comes to my interactions with other people.
I wish there were more clarity in handling these than there is.
Examples, you lose contact with friends from college - hate that
A situation strains your relationship with coworkers and their is no immediate resolution is sight
What seemed to be a promising friendship takes a nose dive for unknown reasons
Etc.
You get the picture. How do other people handle these things? In the past, I had just let time take care of it and, many times, the result was never close to what I had wanted... not meaning the result wasn't best, but many times I feel it could have been better. In the last year or so, I have tried to disclose more and get more information so as to try and navigate these situations. Sadly, I have to admit that isn't working so great either. Again clarification; with my students and coworkers it really has. The honesty is the best policy saying seems to be accurate here. In matters where "I" seem to me more invested, honesty is more difficult, sometimes unwise, and when given, seems to be rebuffed or makes the other party totally uncomfortable and non communicative. My current situation at home is the most pervasive here, but (as my life seems to model) history does, has, and will repeat itself in other places.
I still feel that honesty is the best policy, but it is hard to decide how to proceed when you don't have total honesty on the other side of the fence. It is near impossible to move your chess piece when you can't even guess the moves or their reasons from your joining player. I guess that is why both players can see the board. When you don't know where the other person is coming from, all that can be done is speculation and that...... oh forget about it. When it comes to people I see in a positive way, I speculate what "I want" to be true, not always accurately perceiving the subtle signs that are being given, or failing to perceive those signs in the negative light in which they are being given. When I perceive people poorly, I tend to think in the opposite manner.
The post about the "truth" is a total display of passive aggressive because I was upset. I didn't have anywhere to put that so I put it here. I don't know if it was wrong as it incriminates no one, but, it's not exactly "handling" a situation either. I don't know if I can or even should handle it. I know that I miss something I once thought there was and have to convince myself to stop trying to recreate it.
My place on the totem pole has been carved and I just seem unwilling to see it.
Perhaps that isn't change, but an earlier misplacing of the place on the totem pole. That one is true in the house. You can't really know where you stand until someone "shows" you. Then, I guess, that is really more accurate than anything someone could say, isn't it? And once that place is learned, the import of what you say is directly related to it.
I know change can be good, but damn if it doesn't hurt like hell. I wish I knew how to better handle change.
I'll believe things will improve soon. I kinda have to. I'm not sure how to accomplish that yet, but I'll figure something out.
As for today, there aren't many other directions to look.
Change - it's inevitable, right? But in some cases, I don't like it. That proably comes across as an over simplification, however, I don't think that makes it any less true.
I specifically don't like change when it comes to my interactions with other people. Let me be more clear - I don't like negative change when it comes to my interactions with other people.
I wish there were more clarity in handling these than there is.
Examples, you lose contact with friends from college - hate that
A situation strains your relationship with coworkers and their is no immediate resolution is sight
What seemed to be a promising friendship takes a nose dive for unknown reasons
Etc.
You get the picture. How do other people handle these things? In the past, I had just let time take care of it and, many times, the result was never close to what I had wanted... not meaning the result wasn't best, but many times I feel it could have been better. In the last year or so, I have tried to disclose more and get more information so as to try and navigate these situations. Sadly, I have to admit that isn't working so great either. Again clarification; with my students and coworkers it really has. The honesty is the best policy saying seems to be accurate here. In matters where "I" seem to me more invested, honesty is more difficult, sometimes unwise, and when given, seems to be rebuffed or makes the other party totally uncomfortable and non communicative. My current situation at home is the most pervasive here, but (as my life seems to model) history does, has, and will repeat itself in other places.
I still feel that honesty is the best policy, but it is hard to decide how to proceed when you don't have total honesty on the other side of the fence. It is near impossible to move your chess piece when you can't even guess the moves or their reasons from your joining player. I guess that is why both players can see the board. When you don't know where the other person is coming from, all that can be done is speculation and that...... oh forget about it. When it comes to people I see in a positive way, I speculate what "I want" to be true, not always accurately perceiving the subtle signs that are being given, or failing to perceive those signs in the negative light in which they are being given. When I perceive people poorly, I tend to think in the opposite manner.
The post about the "truth" is a total display of passive aggressive because I was upset. I didn't have anywhere to put that so I put it here. I don't know if it was wrong as it incriminates no one, but, it's not exactly "handling" a situation either. I don't know if I can or even should handle it. I know that I miss something I once thought there was and have to convince myself to stop trying to recreate it.
My place on the totem pole has been carved and I just seem unwilling to see it.
Perhaps that isn't change, but an earlier misplacing of the place on the totem pole. That one is true in the house. You can't really know where you stand until someone "shows" you. Then, I guess, that is really more accurate than anything someone could say, isn't it? And once that place is learned, the import of what you say is directly related to it.
I know change can be good, but damn if it doesn't hurt like hell. I wish I knew how to better handle change.
I'll believe things will improve soon. I kinda have to. I'm not sure how to accomplish that yet, but I'll figure something out.
As for today, there aren't many other directions to look.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Personalities
After reading the email about the complaint against the Type A narcissist, I thought I might briefly research personality types and a few disorders. This can be bad, for in this,( just like after reading a medical journal -once you've deciphered it) you find symptoms and signs that you yourself possess.
Let me copy some info for you;
Type A personality -
Insatiable desire to achieve their goals
Strong willingness to compete in all situations
Strong desire for recognition and advancement
Desire to multitask under time constraints
Above average mental and physical alertness
Have limitless problems with time. Irritable, restless with other's pace, high impatience at having to wait for someone, rage at having to wait in line, detests wasting time, drives over the speed limit, evades red lights, is 'hard on equipment,' always underestimates the time a job will take.
Have esteem issues, as they donÂ’t base their value on solid ground but rather on meeting standards. They value themselves and what they do by money. They spend or give money as a way of showing love or affection. In relationships there is a medium of exchange and of acceptance with others and it is money.
Is a perfectionist and of low self esteem. Getting dirty makes them feel cheap and worthless. They need neat surroundings.
Reluctant to share power/control/delegate, takes on more and more work, pursue more challenging tasks, plays hard as works, detests losing, plays to win even against children/friends, sets higher goals for self. challenging.concernedd with getting and having rather than being.
May deny emotion or not know they have any. They may feel guilty for having or showing emotions as this would take them away from the source of real value for them which is to meet standards like a perfectly performing machine.
Recreation only with friends from work better communication at work than at home organized hobbies work as a substitute for intimate contacts. Reading is all work related. Work late more than peers do. When awakened thoughts go to work. Live by deadlines and quotas. Creates unnecessary deadlines
Type B -
Relaxed
Likelier than a Type A personality to be patient
Creative and imaginative
Inclined to self-analyze
"B" type loves to party, travel and be part of groups, and is often the center of attention. They love excitement and are often impatient and demanding as a result of being a "high energy" type.
The "B" personality is as supportive of others as they are direct in their approach. Most people enjoy being around them or watching or listening to them "perform". It is very important for the "B" personality to be liked by others and can be easily hurt if they think someone doesn't care for them. They may take it very personally.
Type C -
The "C" thrives on details, accuracy and takes just about everything seriously. The "C" doesn't like "hype", rather, they want facts...Information from which they can verify the details and make a decision. They are very consistent in everything they do because everything has an order or procedure; thus they can be predictable at times and often very dependable, however, don't expect them to make a decision when YOU want it, as it will only come after THEY have checked all the facts and are satisfied that everything is correct.
They are deep, thoughtful and usually very sensitive. They enjoy know how and why things are the way they are rather than taking anything at face value.
You want to be right.
You research every aspect of a situation and consider every eventuality before making a decision.
You value your reputation for being accurate and logical.
You like systems and procedures that produce predictable and consistent outcomes.
You look for what could go wrong.
You read the fine print. You are a stickler for detail.
You prefer to work alone.
You have very high standards, especially for yourself. You can be a perfectionist.
Energized by...
Being right
Having access to information and data
Having time to investigate the problem, formulate a plan, and carry it through to completion
Being dealt with in a reserved, business-like manner
Being recognized and rewarded for specific accomplishments
Lose energy by...
Dealing with sudden or abrupt change
Being required to socialize, to deal with emotionally charged situations, and to disclose personal information
Lacking the time to process information or to evaluate consequences
Being criticized by people who don't understand the situation
Working in a system that lacks quality control or safety regulations
They say that no one is typically only one personality type, but rather a combination of several. I know which I fit under... I believe to anyway. Mine is A - multitask w/ some issues with time B - imaginative and self analyze to the point of detriment. As for C, I just don't like being criticized by people who don't know what they are talking about.
In my brief research, I also found hints how to get along with those of different types. I should have read such information about A & C personalities earlier in life.
So, are B's the only ones that think they have feelings or attempt to deal with them? Gee, that's great. :-(
Which are you? I know it's not the Myers Briggs, but I think everyone can take a stab to see where their traits lie. Or, just take the Myers - Briggs test.
Let me copy some info for you;
Type A personality -
Insatiable desire to achieve their goals
Strong willingness to compete in all situations
Strong desire for recognition and advancement
Desire to multitask under time constraints
Above average mental and physical alertness
Have limitless problems with time. Irritable, restless with other's pace, high impatience at having to wait for someone, rage at having to wait in line, detests wasting time, drives over the speed limit, evades red lights, is 'hard on equipment,' always underestimates the time a job will take.
Have esteem issues, as they donÂ’t base their value on solid ground but rather on meeting standards. They value themselves and what they do by money. They spend or give money as a way of showing love or affection. In relationships there is a medium of exchange and of acceptance with others and it is money.
Is a perfectionist and of low self esteem. Getting dirty makes them feel cheap and worthless. They need neat surroundings.
Reluctant to share power/control/delegate, takes on more and more work, pursue more challenging tasks, plays hard as works, detests losing, plays to win even against children/friends, sets higher goals for self. challenging.concernedd with getting and having rather than being.
May deny emotion or not know they have any. They may feel guilty for having or showing emotions as this would take them away from the source of real value for them which is to meet standards like a perfectly performing machine.
Recreation only with friends from work better communication at work than at home organized hobbies work as a substitute for intimate contacts. Reading is all work related. Work late more than peers do. When awakened thoughts go to work. Live by deadlines and quotas. Creates unnecessary deadlines
Type B -
Relaxed
Likelier than a Type A personality to be patient
Creative and imaginative
Inclined to self-analyze
"B" type loves to party, travel and be part of groups, and is often the center of attention. They love excitement and are often impatient and demanding as a result of being a "high energy" type.
The "B" personality is as supportive of others as they are direct in their approach. Most people enjoy being around them or watching or listening to them "perform". It is very important for the "B" personality to be liked by others and can be easily hurt if they think someone doesn't care for them. They may take it very personally.
Type C -
The "C" thrives on details, accuracy and takes just about everything seriously. The "C" doesn't like "hype", rather, they want facts...Information from which they can verify the details and make a decision. They are very consistent in everything they do because everything has an order or procedure; thus they can be predictable at times and often very dependable, however, don't expect them to make a decision when YOU want it, as it will only come after THEY have checked all the facts and are satisfied that everything is correct.
They are deep, thoughtful and usually very sensitive. They enjoy know how and why things are the way they are rather than taking anything at face value.
You want to be right.
You research every aspect of a situation and consider every eventuality before making a decision.
You value your reputation for being accurate and logical.
You like systems and procedures that produce predictable and consistent outcomes.
You look for what could go wrong.
You read the fine print. You are a stickler for detail.
You prefer to work alone.
You have very high standards, especially for yourself. You can be a perfectionist.
Energized by...
Being right
Having access to information and data
Having time to investigate the problem, formulate a plan, and carry it through to completion
Being dealt with in a reserved, business-like manner
Being recognized and rewarded for specific accomplishments
Lose energy by...
Dealing with sudden or abrupt change
Being required to socialize, to deal with emotionally charged situations, and to disclose personal information
Lacking the time to process information or to evaluate consequences
Being criticized by people who don't understand the situation
Working in a system that lacks quality control or safety regulations
They say that no one is typically only one personality type, but rather a combination of several. I know which I fit under... I believe to anyway. Mine is A - multitask w/ some issues with time B - imaginative and self analyze to the point of detriment. As for C, I just don't like being criticized by people who don't know what they are talking about.
In my brief research, I also found hints how to get along with those of different types. I should have read such information about A & C personalities earlier in life.
So, are B's the only ones that think they have feelings or attempt to deal with them? Gee, that's great. :-(
Which are you? I know it's not the Myers Briggs, but I think everyone can take a stab to see where their traits lie. Or, just take the Myers - Briggs test.
Truth? You can't handle the Truth.
Ever felt like this is how people treat you. I sure have. Granted sometimes, it's claused under the "what's best for the other person", but even then, the truth can be stated gently. For example, the girl question of " How does this look?" Yeah, a trap from many, but if it looks bad, a true friend will say something to the effect of "I've seen you look better in other things" although a, "You look like a purple heifer" may be more appropriate. I know that there are times or topics that are hard to broach, but honesty, even second hand if necessary, is better than dishonesty or avoidance.
I remember a guy who was interested in me in college. We had a great time together - playing tennis, hanging out. I knew he was interested, but didn't know the extent. It never came up, so I didn't think it was that crucial a topic. Although he was a "really" great guy, he was a smoker. Besides, I didn't know him well enough to be super attracted to him. Even if I had, the smoking thing would have been a _huge_ obstacle. Anyway, we were headed for summer break and we had just performed in an ensemble for the commencement ceremony. I was leaving with my horn buddies (including 2 males) for something to eat and this guy came up to wish me a good summer. Nice enough gesture, but as I was turning to leave, he must have going in for a kiss and got my ear. Uh, awkward. My friends just stood and stared. I, caught off guard and a little grossed out, said, "bye" and left. Didn't quite know what to do with that and we never ended up talking about it. I saw him the fall I returned and things were a little weird. I felt terrible. Although I wanted to talk about it, and even apologize for my part in it, I didn't want to revisit something he didn't. Why, at the time didn't he just ask or say he was interested? I wouldn't have avoided him, but I could have saved him a little embarrassment and told him I wasn't into him that way.
And what about the people who you ask to do something and are "never" available or never just tell you they aren't available? Ok, so telling someone you don't want to spend time with them is sort of like smacking them in the face, but once the smack is delivered, it's an all clear, right? Perhaps subtlety, like, "No, I'm not available to do something and probably won't be for a long time" is ok, but still a little vague. Adding in, "spending time with you is not a priority to me" may clear that up. Another possibility is, "No, I'd rather not, and I think I'll feel like that for a while". At least that doesn't offer a hope that the unavailability is likely to change anytime soon. I personally think, if one has courtesy, both deserve an explanation, although the speaker would probably need some cahones to say the truth. Because running and hiding from someone makes them feel so much better than saying, " Don't want to hang out with you. Sorry." Don't think so.
This was an article in Dear Margo ( great, I'm now reduced to reading 'Dear Margo)
> DEAR MARGO: I need your help! I have a friend I've known for about 10 years. We e-mail almost every day and get together > about once a month. The problem is, my friend is an A-type personality narcissist, and I am growing tired of her.
> Everything that is said or done has become a contest as to who is smarter/better (I am corrected on my e-mail spelling);
> she beats issues into the ground to make sure she has the last word. She is late to our get-togethers except when she
> comes to my house, and then she ignores my length of stay requests (comes early, leaves late).
> She's started to be rude and condescending, complains about everything in her life and gossips to no end. She just takes
> too much energy, and I no longer enjoy her company and wish no further contact with her. My problem: If I tell her all this, > she will deny everything and attack me.
> I simply want to go away quietly, never to have our paths cross again. If I am vague, she will hunt me down to find out why. > I don't want to be rude or mean, I just want to end the friendship. -- HAD ENOUGH
> DEAR HAD: My dear, in this situation, you do not offer reasons. Just go with the old dictum: never explain, never complain. > It is hard to imagine she was like this from the beginning, else why would you have liked her? Let us just chalk it up to
> aging badly.
> Stop with the e-mails and making dates. If she asks why, tell her you have just become very busy. If she hounds you for a > reason, simply say her behavior has started to annoy you. Odds are that she will never speak to you again.
(Perhaps this person is writing about me? Though a narcissistic thought, I sure hope they aren't. Type A narcissist? Nope, looked it up and although I have developed some type A tendencies in a few areas, I am definitely a more type B person. Narcissist? I'd have to agree that I can be on occasion. I hope not too often. If it's really bad, I wish someone would say something)
Old dictum my ass !!! Is this sound advice? A friend you've known for 10 years has started to annoy you. Uh, there's a shocker. Welcome to life. I think it might have been better to express the complaints earlier rather than right before ending the friendship. The friendship must not mean all that much. There's 10 years wasted. If you tell your friend all that is bugging you and they deny it and attack you, uh, case proven. Even if they don't agree, a true friend should hear you out and maybe even apologize. If no changes are conceded upon, you end the friendship with no dirty laundry. Shoot, most people who have been dating for just a couple months give more courtesy than the "very busy" crap. And if they don't, well, they often inherit an unfavorable nickname.
"If I am vague, she will hunt me down to find out why" Um, then don't be vague. It's not rude to be honest. It may feel mean, but it's no crueler than lying to avoid a conflict. The last sentence Margo offers, I feel is probably the best one, although still cold. If needed, I'd run with it. Besides, an A type narcissist can't be to blame so, right there, by calling one in the wrong, that may end the friendship with that. This can be a problem if the person stating complaint is a Type C personality, because then, the conflict makes sense and so does the desire not to confront it.
I can't believe this advice. I hope if the person took it, the coin never turns so that they are on the other side.
Sure. ALL relationships are hard. Maybe sometimes just too hard. But if people could just be honest, many feelings and much energy could be spared and focused on other things rather than wasted on ones that were hoped to be fruitful, aren't so, and never will be.
When has knowing the truth _really_ hurt someone in the long term? More than believing a lie?
Just tell the freakin' truth !!!!!!!!
I remember a guy who was interested in me in college. We had a great time together - playing tennis, hanging out. I knew he was interested, but didn't know the extent. It never came up, so I didn't think it was that crucial a topic. Although he was a "really" great guy, he was a smoker. Besides, I didn't know him well enough to be super attracted to him. Even if I had, the smoking thing would have been a _huge_ obstacle. Anyway, we were headed for summer break and we had just performed in an ensemble for the commencement ceremony. I was leaving with my horn buddies (including 2 males) for something to eat and this guy came up to wish me a good summer. Nice enough gesture, but as I was turning to leave, he must have going in for a kiss and got my ear. Uh, awkward. My friends just stood and stared. I, caught off guard and a little grossed out, said, "bye" and left. Didn't quite know what to do with that and we never ended up talking about it. I saw him the fall I returned and things were a little weird. I felt terrible. Although I wanted to talk about it, and even apologize for my part in it, I didn't want to revisit something he didn't. Why, at the time didn't he just ask or say he was interested? I wouldn't have avoided him, but I could have saved him a little embarrassment and told him I wasn't into him that way.
And what about the people who you ask to do something and are "never" available or never just tell you they aren't available? Ok, so telling someone you don't want to spend time with them is sort of like smacking them in the face, but once the smack is delivered, it's an all clear, right? Perhaps subtlety, like, "No, I'm not available to do something and probably won't be for a long time" is ok, but still a little vague. Adding in, "spending time with you is not a priority to me" may clear that up. Another possibility is, "No, I'd rather not, and I think I'll feel like that for a while". At least that doesn't offer a hope that the unavailability is likely to change anytime soon. I personally think, if one has courtesy, both deserve an explanation, although the speaker would probably need some cahones to say the truth. Because running and hiding from someone makes them feel so much better than saying, " Don't want to hang out with you. Sorry." Don't think so.
This was an article in Dear Margo ( great, I'm now reduced to reading 'Dear Margo)
> DEAR MARGO: I need your help! I have a friend I've known for about 10 years. We e-mail almost every day and get together > about once a month. The problem is, my friend is an A-type personality narcissist, and I am growing tired of her.
> Everything that is said or done has become a contest as to who is smarter/better (I am corrected on my e-mail spelling);
> she beats issues into the ground to make sure she has the last word. She is late to our get-togethers except when she
> comes to my house, and then she ignores my length of stay requests (comes early, leaves late).
> She's started to be rude and condescending, complains about everything in her life and gossips to no end. She just takes
> too much energy, and I no longer enjoy her company and wish no further contact with her. My problem: If I tell her all this, > she will deny everything and attack me.
> I simply want to go away quietly, never to have our paths cross again. If I am vague, she will hunt me down to find out why. > I don't want to be rude or mean, I just want to end the friendship. -- HAD ENOUGH
> DEAR HAD: My dear, in this situation, you do not offer reasons. Just go with the old dictum: never explain, never complain. > It is hard to imagine she was like this from the beginning, else why would you have liked her? Let us just chalk it up to
> aging badly.
> Stop with the e-mails and making dates. If she asks why, tell her you have just become very busy. If she hounds you for a > reason, simply say her behavior has started to annoy you. Odds are that she will never speak to you again.
(Perhaps this person is writing about me? Though a narcissistic thought, I sure hope they aren't. Type A narcissist? Nope, looked it up and although I have developed some type A tendencies in a few areas, I am definitely a more type B person. Narcissist? I'd have to agree that I can be on occasion. I hope not too often. If it's really bad, I wish someone would say something)
Old dictum my ass !!! Is this sound advice? A friend you've known for 10 years has started to annoy you. Uh, there's a shocker. Welcome to life. I think it might have been better to express the complaints earlier rather than right before ending the friendship. The friendship must not mean all that much. There's 10 years wasted. If you tell your friend all that is bugging you and they deny it and attack you, uh, case proven. Even if they don't agree, a true friend should hear you out and maybe even apologize. If no changes are conceded upon, you end the friendship with no dirty laundry. Shoot, most people who have been dating for just a couple months give more courtesy than the "very busy" crap. And if they don't, well, they often inherit an unfavorable nickname.
"If I am vague, she will hunt me down to find out why" Um, then don't be vague. It's not rude to be honest. It may feel mean, but it's no crueler than lying to avoid a conflict. The last sentence Margo offers, I feel is probably the best one, although still cold. If needed, I'd run with it. Besides, an A type narcissist can't be to blame so, right there, by calling one in the wrong, that may end the friendship with that. This can be a problem if the person stating complaint is a Type C personality, because then, the conflict makes sense and so does the desire not to confront it.
I can't believe this advice. I hope if the person took it, the coin never turns so that they are on the other side.
Sure. ALL relationships are hard. Maybe sometimes just too hard. But if people could just be honest, many feelings and much energy could be spared and focused on other things rather than wasted on ones that were hoped to be fruitful, aren't so, and never will be.
When has knowing the truth _really_ hurt someone in the long term? More than believing a lie?
Just tell the freakin' truth !!!!!!!!
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Whatever you decide, make sure that you can live with the consequences
Ah, my dad. Possibly one of the quietest men in my life (unless sharing a humorous anecdote from work, or cursing a repair that is proceeding poorly) offers some of the best words of wisdom. This quote was made over 6 years ago when I was pregnant with my son and was in reference to several situations at the time. I find myself referring to it once again.
I am about to experience "a change in situation" as it is said obscurely. So far, that fact is neither of great concern or relief, which in itself is a little troubling. I was hoping for a strong internal reaction one way or the other. Regardless, that as of itself is not what leads me to think upon my dad's pearls of wisdom, but rather a facet of it.
One of the decisions that currently face me is of where to live. There are so many options and seemingly none ideal. The where to live decision sits totally on my shoulders and that is ok - almost preferred. The decision of whether to buy or rent also sits on my shoulders and offers a little more weight. Once again, I find myself looking at rental homes and apartments, and homes available for purchase. Now though, I am caught between the considerations of affordablity, commitment, and waste.
Can I afford a home? Depending on the purchase price, maybe. The first year in the new place, I think would be the worst financially, but after that ( and after income taxes) I think I'd be fine. But that all depends if what I can afford is close to what I want or am willing to live in. (Note - I'm not looking for a $1.2 million home for $200,000 or anything like that, but I don't want to buy a $170,000 "fixer-upper" for $145,000 when I am not anything close to a fixer) I saw one today with some major plusses and some middle of the road minuses. Do I want to get into the market with something like this and stay there for five years in the hopes to be able to "upgrade"? Do I do it knowing that for 1 full calendar year, there will be no new anything because of the purchase? I'm not sure. Part depends how much time and $$ would be necessary above and beyond maintaining it. Part depends on if it's a "too good to be true offer" since I'm still a few months out from truly being independant and presently, a down payment would be a minor issue. Would I rather have a year or two to place some $$$ aside for a down payment to lower the monthly commitment? Uh, yeah, but it's a "buyer's" market. But what about if you're a buyer w/ little money? Perhaps then it is a "lookers" market instead.
Buy and take a huge risk .......or rent and give away at least 2/3 of what could be going to my own equity. Then again, the down payment isn't even comparable, the apartments are maintanence free, have some pretty spiffy amenties, and would be available as long as I needed or could afford them. Here sits another quagmire - If I wanted to rent something really affordable ( ie. cheap) and pocket a good deal of money for a year, I'd have to look at places that are "majorly" outdated or small and in some cases located in less than ideal areas. When I consider the importance of having my son reside with me a good deal of time, this is unacceptable. But, if I look at the places he and I could coexist comfortably, that savings heap dimishes pretty signifigantly. Will renting force my way out of being able to buy? I watch and hear about the East coast market and it makes me fearful.
And rent to own?? I don't even know how to consider that yet.
I only hope that a strong viable option presents itself to me when the time of decision comes. When that time is, I don't know either. It could be now.
I know that I am accountable to this one and that's ok. It's not making a wise decision and the consequences that might face me of which I am scared. Everytime my thoughts sit here, my dad's voice rings in my head...."Whatever you decide, just make sure that you can live your life with the consequences". What if you aren't sure of the consequences ?
Gee, thanks dad.... Why didn't you send me to Vo-tech instead ???
I am about to experience "a change in situation" as it is said obscurely. So far, that fact is neither of great concern or relief, which in itself is a little troubling. I was hoping for a strong internal reaction one way or the other. Regardless, that as of itself is not what leads me to think upon my dad's pearls of wisdom, but rather a facet of it.
One of the decisions that currently face me is of where to live. There are so many options and seemingly none ideal. The where to live decision sits totally on my shoulders and that is ok - almost preferred. The decision of whether to buy or rent also sits on my shoulders and offers a little more weight. Once again, I find myself looking at rental homes and apartments, and homes available for purchase. Now though, I am caught between the considerations of affordablity, commitment, and waste.
Can I afford a home? Depending on the purchase price, maybe. The first year in the new place, I think would be the worst financially, but after that ( and after income taxes) I think I'd be fine. But that all depends if what I can afford is close to what I want or am willing to live in. (Note - I'm not looking for a $1.2 million home for $200,000 or anything like that, but I don't want to buy a $170,000 "fixer-upper" for $145,000 when I am not anything close to a fixer) I saw one today with some major plusses and some middle of the road minuses. Do I want to get into the market with something like this and stay there for five years in the hopes to be able to "upgrade"? Do I do it knowing that for 1 full calendar year, there will be no new anything because of the purchase? I'm not sure. Part depends how much time and $$ would be necessary above and beyond maintaining it. Part depends on if it's a "too good to be true offer" since I'm still a few months out from truly being independant and presently, a down payment would be a minor issue. Would I rather have a year or two to place some $$$ aside for a down payment to lower the monthly commitment? Uh, yeah, but it's a "buyer's" market. But what about if you're a buyer w/ little money? Perhaps then it is a "lookers" market instead.
Buy and take a huge risk .......or rent and give away at least 2/3 of what could be going to my own equity. Then again, the down payment isn't even comparable, the apartments are maintanence free, have some pretty spiffy amenties, and would be available as long as I needed or could afford them. Here sits another quagmire - If I wanted to rent something really affordable ( ie. cheap) and pocket a good deal of money for a year, I'd have to look at places that are "majorly" outdated or small and in some cases located in less than ideal areas. When I consider the importance of having my son reside with me a good deal of time, this is unacceptable. But, if I look at the places he and I could coexist comfortably, that savings heap dimishes pretty signifigantly. Will renting force my way out of being able to buy? I watch and hear about the East coast market and it makes me fearful.
And rent to own?? I don't even know how to consider that yet.
I only hope that a strong viable option presents itself to me when the time of decision comes. When that time is, I don't know either. It could be now.
I know that I am accountable to this one and that's ok. It's not making a wise decision and the consequences that might face me of which I am scared. Everytime my thoughts sit here, my dad's voice rings in my head...."Whatever you decide, just make sure that you can live your life with the consequences". What if you aren't sure of the consequences ?
Gee, thanks dad.... Why didn't you send me to Vo-tech instead ???
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Candor of children
My friend sent me an email containing pictures of some written prayers from little children. Even non religious folk may get a kick out of kids... being kids. I wish adults were this funny;
"Dear God,
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't you just keep the one's you have now?" - Jane
"Dear God,
In Bible times did people really talk that fancy?" - Jennifer
"Dear God,
Thank you for the baby brother but what I prayed for was a puppy" - Joyce
"Dear God,
I bet it is very hard for you to love all of everybody in the world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it" - Nan
"Dear God,
Please put a-nother Holiday between Christmas and Easter. There's nothing good in there now" - Ginny
"Dear God,
if we come back as something please don't let me be Jennifer Horton because I hate her" - Denise
" We read that Thos. Edison made light. But in Sun, school they said you did it. So I bet he stoled your idea." - Donna
"Dear God,
Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother." - Larry
By the way, who delivers mail to God? Can you send that Priority? Deep thoughts.........
"Dear God,
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't you just keep the one's you have now?" - Jane
"Dear God,
In Bible times did people really talk that fancy?" - Jennifer
"Dear God,
Thank you for the baby brother but what I prayed for was a puppy" - Joyce
"Dear God,
I bet it is very hard for you to love all of everybody in the world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it" - Nan
"Dear God,
Please put a-nother Holiday between Christmas and Easter. There's nothing good in there now" - Ginny
"Dear God,
if we come back as something please don't let me be Jennifer Horton because I hate her" - Denise
" We read that Thos. Edison made light. But in Sun, school they said you did it. So I bet he stoled your idea." - Donna
"Dear God,
Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother." - Larry
By the way, who delivers mail to God? Can you send that Priority? Deep thoughts.........
#1 - Tuesday -the BAND wagon
Let me begin by saying the snow dance wasn't a total wash out..... we had a 2 hour delay. :-) Here's the pro and con: Pro - we had a two hour delay AND got to wear jeans because of it. ( when you have a work dress code, jeans are a big deal) Con - uh, the roads were still ice covered at 9am and rather treacherous to drive. ( of course here I think the roads were clearer a little after 10)
Better some than none, I guess.
The best part of today came in my classes. My job can be very tedious as many times it entails saying the same concept 30 times in twenty different ways hoping for a lightbulb or two to go off. The hard part for the students is that they MUST achieve some sort of mastery of their individual part before a group rehearsal is truly successful. I often return to the fact that this separates musicians from sports players on occasion. When one person can throw three pointers and another can't, the player who can, his performance is not affected by the one who cannot - provided the less successful one doesn't have the ball all the time. A miss by a sports player does not in and of itself affect the performance of the others. Granted it may effect the end score. However. sometimes one err can have great affects - like a doubles tennis team where one player constantly misses the ball. The other player themself is not affected, but their performance is. But unlike sports, musicians aren't usually benched..... just fired.
Likewise in class, if you get A's and the person sitting to your right gets F's, your personal performance is not affected at all.
With musicians, if 3 of five players are playing something perfectly and two are not, the entire section is weaker because of it AT that point in time. Depending on the weakness, the 2 can literally destroy the work and success of the other 3. Musicians are very dependent on one another while still needing to have a great deal of self sufficiency. In a duet, the two need to play accurately, in time, and in tune, even though they are often playing very separate parts. The same is true, if not more so, in a successful large ensemble.
How do folks accomplish this feat? There are many facets to that, but one of the primary ones is listening. Listening to style, pitch, phrasing, balance. etc. TODAY, even the young junior highers were playing well AND listening.. and loving the product. They could hear that they sounded good and enjoyed the product of their efforts. In the senior high, their is an ensemble working on a piece designed for a more experienced ensemble almost double their size. Regardless, they put themselves to the grind stone and were notably excited to hear what they created. WHAT "THEY" CREATED!!!! They weren't note machines, they were musicians, communicating with each other and to others using sound. Sometimes it's like a playing a movie soundtrack, but you don't always know or agree on the pictures that accompany it, just the emotion they are reflecting. I know that sounds so "fru-fru" but it is true and an experience unlike many others. But they were excited and loving to play. It is such a rush to see when folks get the rewards that are sometimes so painful and time consuming to achieve.
To quote a line from " A League of Their Own" - "If it wasn't hard everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great." That applies to many things in life, but isn't that the truth? The things most enjoyed were the ones you had to work your ass off to get.... or maintain.
These are the days that remind me why I am a "band enthusiast" ( thanks Bobby !!!!) Great day !!!!
Better some than none, I guess.
The best part of today came in my classes. My job can be very tedious as many times it entails saying the same concept 30 times in twenty different ways hoping for a lightbulb or two to go off. The hard part for the students is that they MUST achieve some sort of mastery of their individual part before a group rehearsal is truly successful. I often return to the fact that this separates musicians from sports players on occasion. When one person can throw three pointers and another can't, the player who can, his performance is not affected by the one who cannot - provided the less successful one doesn't have the ball all the time. A miss by a sports player does not in and of itself affect the performance of the others. Granted it may effect the end score. However. sometimes one err can have great affects - like a doubles tennis team where one player constantly misses the ball. The other player themself is not affected, but their performance is. But unlike sports, musicians aren't usually benched..... just fired.
Likewise in class, if you get A's and the person sitting to your right gets F's, your personal performance is not affected at all.
With musicians, if 3 of five players are playing something perfectly and two are not, the entire section is weaker because of it AT that point in time. Depending on the weakness, the 2 can literally destroy the work and success of the other 3. Musicians are very dependent on one another while still needing to have a great deal of self sufficiency. In a duet, the two need to play accurately, in time, and in tune, even though they are often playing very separate parts. The same is true, if not more so, in a successful large ensemble.
How do folks accomplish this feat? There are many facets to that, but one of the primary ones is listening. Listening to style, pitch, phrasing, balance. etc. TODAY, even the young junior highers were playing well AND listening.. and loving the product. They could hear that they sounded good and enjoyed the product of their efforts. In the senior high, their is an ensemble working on a piece designed for a more experienced ensemble almost double their size. Regardless, they put themselves to the grind stone and were notably excited to hear what they created. WHAT "THEY" CREATED!!!! They weren't note machines, they were musicians, communicating with each other and to others using sound. Sometimes it's like a playing a movie soundtrack, but you don't always know or agree on the pictures that accompany it, just the emotion they are reflecting. I know that sounds so "fru-fru" but it is true and an experience unlike many others. But they were excited and loving to play. It is such a rush to see when folks get the rewards that are sometimes so painful and time consuming to achieve.
To quote a line from " A League of Their Own" - "If it wasn't hard everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great." That applies to many things in life, but isn't that the truth? The things most enjoyed were the ones you had to work your ass off to get.... or maintain.
These are the days that remind me why I am a "band enthusiast" ( thanks Bobby !!!!) Great day !!!!
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Doing a snow dance
When I was in Middle and high school, I prayed for snow days and then for my parents to let me go out with my friends if I got one. It was great. There was nothing better than getting an extra day or two to do an assignment, that sometimes really didn't even get done with the extra time. It was a break, if nothing else.
Now that I teach, I sometimes feel that I want a snow day more than the students. The funniest part is.... I'm not the only one. I mention this as snow is currently fallling here and our work "weather/ emergency phone trees" were distributed today in the case of a delay or cancellation. Granted, the phone chain is activated around 4am, but at least it delivers good news.
As the weather began to get colder, the skies greyer and precipitation began to fall, I found myself chanting between classes, "Come on snow". One of my students commented upon leaving class," I wonder how many students are going to go home and do a snow dance". I replied, "Just students? You should also wonder how many teachers will be doing that same dance. I'll get my groove on for such a worthy cause"
A little surprized, he informed me of the ritual of the dance, including wearing one's PJ's inside out, throwing 3 ice cubes out a door and then proceeding to run around the house 3 times. I told him I was good until the running around the house part. My current abode has a surrounding fence with one side that opens and another which does not. Although entertaining to many I'm sure, running around the house only to smash into the fence seemed counterproductive.
Nevertheless, the snow is still falling. Keep falling !!!! I should be heading to bed soon. If I knew I were going to have either a delay or a cancellation, I would entitle myself to stay up and do other things. My son is already intending to have a day off and play in the snow. I'm afraid he may be a little disappointed this time around. But, since I do not know either way for sure, I will plan for a "cold" standard morning routine for tomorrow. Pisser. May someone please call at 4am with some good news.
When they happen, snow days are the second best teacher perk. (No, the salary is not the first one.)
And if you think I'm above wearing PJ's inside out and throwing ice cubes to get it....... you don't know me very well.
Now that I teach, I sometimes feel that I want a snow day more than the students. The funniest part is.... I'm not the only one. I mention this as snow is currently fallling here and our work "weather/ emergency phone trees" were distributed today in the case of a delay or cancellation. Granted, the phone chain is activated around 4am, but at least it delivers good news.
As the weather began to get colder, the skies greyer and precipitation began to fall, I found myself chanting between classes, "Come on snow". One of my students commented upon leaving class," I wonder how many students are going to go home and do a snow dance". I replied, "Just students? You should also wonder how many teachers will be doing that same dance. I'll get my groove on for such a worthy cause"
A little surprized, he informed me of the ritual of the dance, including wearing one's PJ's inside out, throwing 3 ice cubes out a door and then proceeding to run around the house 3 times. I told him I was good until the running around the house part. My current abode has a surrounding fence with one side that opens and another which does not. Although entertaining to many I'm sure, running around the house only to smash into the fence seemed counterproductive.
Nevertheless, the snow is still falling. Keep falling !!!! I should be heading to bed soon. If I knew I were going to have either a delay or a cancellation, I would entitle myself to stay up and do other things. My son is already intending to have a day off and play in the snow. I'm afraid he may be a little disappointed this time around. But, since I do not know either way for sure, I will plan for a "cold" standard morning routine for tomorrow. Pisser. May someone please call at 4am with some good news.
When they happen, snow days are the second best teacher perk. (No, the salary is not the first one.)
And if you think I'm above wearing PJ's inside out and throwing ice cubes to get it....... you don't know me very well.
Friday, October 13, 2006
To do or not to do or rather "what" to do, THAT is the question.
It is a sad state of affairs.
My life is busy. For the most part, that's a good thing. My job is ever changing and very time consuming ( not to mention emotionally draining at times) Having a son is also very time consuming, but again, mostly pleasantly so. There are many times that with all the work, family, social ( or lack thereof - time depending) I feel overwhelmed.
Here's the irony. On days that I have "free time" defined as time when I get to chose what I want to do, I hate it. I feel like there are things I should be doing, but I don't want to do because they are "work" related ( you know, laundry, dishes, vacuuming, dusting, cleaning the car, planning the next month or so of class or planning lunches for the little one). Then, there are the things I want to do, but may feel like I am wasting time to do them ( take a walk or a bike ride, read a book at Starbucks, walk the mall with no intent of purchasing anything)
Lastly, in the midst of all that trauma, I create open invites to people who I'd like to spend a little time with, either to divert my attentions or theirs, if possible. I don't totally create a plan to fill that time, in case one or more might actually be free or willing to do something and would feel rude and disappointed if they were able to do and I wasn't. Conversely, if they are unable to do something, I am still disappointed.
In the end, I wish I didn't have the free time, because it ends up being less productive, more frustrating, and occasionally disappointing. I suppose I am just implacable. Is that a right brained problem?
It's funny that, in my younger years, I was never one for calendar keeping. I have always known what my basic daily schedule was and functioned around that. "Free spirited" my parents politely called "not" having a plan-- also known as procrastinator and unable to entertain one's self :-). I'd love and live for the last minute call to go somewhere or do something - even if it was to paint someone's house. At least I felt useful.
Now, I seem to live by the calendar. There is a small piece of accomplishment to seeing a day : 7am meeting, plan, class x5, meeting concerning (blank) 3:30 and 4 lessons dinner - pick up chicken - 6:30 homework for C, 7pm rehearsal, when home wash C uniform. etc. I practically freak out when I don't see something in a day because that inevitable free time comes in. Even free time needs to have a lunch or a walk with a friend, or car appointment. If no, it ends up a sleep in, maybe go out, come back in, day.
I don't know if this is temporary or not. At college, there were people around all the time and practice rooms when there weren't. Days were filled being with people with common interests, livelyhoods, and desires. Although I didn't do it often, I'd love to sit on the 'mall' a read or watch other people. Granted, I enjoyed it more in someone's company. Now, there's work and life. I enjoy both most of the time, but there's something missing. Besides total autonomy and a six figure salary, I wish I could put my finger on what......
I can pass the buck and blame this on my folks and sister for me being the younger child, ( like they could do anything about it) but I think I'll eat this one. One day, perhaps I'll learn the secret of contentment. Not today though.
Time to fold some more laundry and finish those lesson plans ( they're more like guidelines anyway)........
My life is busy. For the most part, that's a good thing. My job is ever changing and very time consuming ( not to mention emotionally draining at times) Having a son is also very time consuming, but again, mostly pleasantly so. There are many times that with all the work, family, social ( or lack thereof - time depending) I feel overwhelmed.
Here's the irony. On days that I have "free time" defined as time when I get to chose what I want to do, I hate it. I feel like there are things I should be doing, but I don't want to do because they are "work" related ( you know, laundry, dishes, vacuuming, dusting, cleaning the car, planning the next month or so of class or planning lunches for the little one). Then, there are the things I want to do, but may feel like I am wasting time to do them ( take a walk or a bike ride, read a book at Starbucks, walk the mall with no intent of purchasing anything)
Lastly, in the midst of all that trauma, I create open invites to people who I'd like to spend a little time with, either to divert my attentions or theirs, if possible. I don't totally create a plan to fill that time, in case one or more might actually be free or willing to do something and would feel rude and disappointed if they were able to do and I wasn't. Conversely, if they are unable to do something, I am still disappointed.
In the end, I wish I didn't have the free time, because it ends up being less productive, more frustrating, and occasionally disappointing. I suppose I am just implacable. Is that a right brained problem?
It's funny that, in my younger years, I was never one for calendar keeping. I have always known what my basic daily schedule was and functioned around that. "Free spirited" my parents politely called "not" having a plan-- also known as procrastinator and unable to entertain one's self :-). I'd love and live for the last minute call to go somewhere or do something - even if it was to paint someone's house. At least I felt useful.
Now, I seem to live by the calendar. There is a small piece of accomplishment to seeing a day : 7am meeting, plan, class x5, meeting concerning (blank) 3:30 and 4 lessons dinner - pick up chicken - 6:30 homework for C, 7pm rehearsal, when home wash C uniform. etc. I practically freak out when I don't see something in a day because that inevitable free time comes in. Even free time needs to have a lunch or a walk with a friend, or car appointment. If no, it ends up a sleep in, maybe go out, come back in, day.
I don't know if this is temporary or not. At college, there were people around all the time and practice rooms when there weren't. Days were filled being with people with common interests, livelyhoods, and desires. Although I didn't do it often, I'd love to sit on the 'mall' a read or watch other people. Granted, I enjoyed it more in someone's company. Now, there's work and life. I enjoy both most of the time, but there's something missing. Besides total autonomy and a six figure salary, I wish I could put my finger on what......
I can pass the buck and blame this on my folks and sister for me being the younger child, ( like they could do anything about it) but I think I'll eat this one. One day, perhaps I'll learn the secret of contentment. Not today though.
Time to fold some more laundry and finish those lesson plans ( they're more like guidelines anyway)........
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Better one than none
For this week, there was a trip to a Broncos game and a trip to Estes Park planned. Well......
It was super cold the night of the game, so my sis and I whimped and went to see it at a D&B in Denver instead. I even tried to sell the tickets but the bartender couldn't get off of work and his buddy's buddy turned them down via text message because it was too cold. Eh, we still got to watch the game,eat some good food, and joke around with some people there who were doing the exact same thing. I was really hoping the Ravens could pull out another one, but, guess not. It stinks to have paid for the tickets and not have gone to the game, but it wasn't worth pneumonia.
We did make it to Estes Park. Although not there for too long, we were there long enough for me to acknowledge that it is gorgeous country, and for my son to acknowledge it's not a 'park' (as defined by his schema). I can safely say that I'd like to return. Not exactly sure what I would do there other than sightsee, but that's what asking is for. As long as we included a stop to the playground with the really tall, fast slide, I think I could convince my son to take another turn as well.
As promised, here are some pics of the elk. They seemed to prefer the golf course today. ( Hey, these are "high class" elk....)
Ok, except for these guys. The one on the left could do that somewhere else and the other two could choose not to look. Pervs!!!
But hey, how many photographers do you know that can make an elk smile. I SWEAR that I did not alter any of these photos It must be that animal magnetism. :-)
I didn't know they looked like that until I uploaded. For some reason when you go to 12x on my camera, the screen always make the shot look foggy although they don't come out like that. Eh, surprises are cool.
We also spent some time at the Stanley. What a beautiful hotel.
They have done an "excellent" job at maintaining it. During the day, I didn't think it had a creepy quality to it. I guess it remains to be seen if I feel that way when there is snow on the ground and it's NOT daytime :-).
Here are more pics....
The foyer -
The music room -
Another room -
And the view from various windows of the hotel -
It is truly a magnificent hotel. You know what the best part was ??? They have a Starbucks in the basement WITH internet access. What a wonderful world :-)
I wish I could think of a way to share the day, but I think maybe I'm too pooped to do it. :-) I'm just glad to have gotten there. I wish my son could've enjoyed the day with both his parents but, those days are coming to a close. Besides, to do so may have had to include a car ride of whining (from dad) since his dad doesn't like doing things like that anyway. If, relationally speaking, there's a next round anytime in my future, I'd like it to be with someone who did like to get out and about once in a while. I'm perfectly able to stay at home on my own. Willing? That's a different story.
Sorry for the tangent. Let me leave whoever may look at this with a photo of a chocolate at that beloved Starbucks in the basement of the Stanley....
Way to work an angle.
It was super cold the night of the game, so my sis and I whimped and went to see it at a D&B in Denver instead. I even tried to sell the tickets but the bartender couldn't get off of work and his buddy's buddy turned them down via text message because it was too cold. Eh, we still got to watch the game,eat some good food, and joke around with some people there who were doing the exact same thing. I was really hoping the Ravens could pull out another one, but, guess not. It stinks to have paid for the tickets and not have gone to the game, but it wasn't worth pneumonia.
We did make it to Estes Park. Although not there for too long, we were there long enough for me to acknowledge that it is gorgeous country, and for my son to acknowledge it's not a 'park' (as defined by his schema). I can safely say that I'd like to return. Not exactly sure what I would do there other than sightsee, but that's what asking is for. As long as we included a stop to the playground with the really tall, fast slide, I think I could convince my son to take another turn as well.
As promised, here are some pics of the elk. They seemed to prefer the golf course today. ( Hey, these are "high class" elk....)
Ok, except for these guys. The one on the left could do that somewhere else and the other two could choose not to look. Pervs!!!
But hey, how many photographers do you know that can make an elk smile. I SWEAR that I did not alter any of these photos It must be that animal magnetism. :-)
I didn't know they looked like that until I uploaded. For some reason when you go to 12x on my camera, the screen always make the shot look foggy although they don't come out like that. Eh, surprises are cool.
We also spent some time at the Stanley. What a beautiful hotel.
They have done an "excellent" job at maintaining it. During the day, I didn't think it had a creepy quality to it. I guess it remains to be seen if I feel that way when there is snow on the ground and it's NOT daytime :-).
Here are more pics....
The foyer -
The music room -
Another room -
And the view from various windows of the hotel -
It is truly a magnificent hotel. You know what the best part was ??? They have a Starbucks in the basement WITH internet access. What a wonderful world :-)
I wish I could think of a way to share the day, but I think maybe I'm too pooped to do it. :-) I'm just glad to have gotten there. I wish my son could've enjoyed the day with both his parents but, those days are coming to a close. Besides, to do so may have had to include a car ride of whining (from dad) since his dad doesn't like doing things like that anyway. If, relationally speaking, there's a next round anytime in my future, I'd like it to be with someone who did like to get out and about once in a while. I'm perfectly able to stay at home on my own. Willing? That's a different story.
Sorry for the tangent. Let me leave whoever may look at this with a photo of a chocolate at that beloved Starbucks in the basement of the Stanley....
Way to work an angle.
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Everyone has a double ...... even psychologically?
So, having finished a book sooner than I would have wanted (ie - need to find a new book sooner) I was checking out the other blogs through Blogger. Yikes !!!! There sure are some interesting ones - enough to make the boldest person blush. Many honestly are just boring. All in the eye of the beholder I suppose.
But then I came upon this one and damn if I wasn't reading a part of my own life. It actually makes me laugh with embarrassment seeing it from another.
The writer is talking about rules of socialization....
> Number 1: SAY LESS. I talk a lot. I share, for some obnoxious reason, the little thoughts that cross my mind, like "god I
> LOVE veggie sandwiches" who cares? Unless I think it is an important tidbit of information, or that it will spark an
> interesting conversation, there is no need for it.
Like I ever do that? ;-) Lightening bolt number one.
> Number 2: Behave as if you have some self-esteem. Who wants to be friends with the most insecure girl in the world?
Eh, this one not so much, but some people have a gift of making me question it.
>Number 3: Be attractive. There is a psychological thing with friendships. We want to be around people that represent us
>positively. It isn't superficial unless you only choose friends who are attractive.
Can only work with what you've got...know what I'm saying?
> Number 4: Be my funny, loveable self. I am fun, I really am, but sometimes I am just so serious! I need to crack jokes like I
> do with my pilots, instead of bringing up all of the terrible things going on in our country and the world. Heard of Debbie
> Downer? That's TOTALLY me!
Yeah. TOTAL gift for this one. Can't live life on an upper though. (then again, substance speaking, I guess you could, but...)Anyway, I tend to go to the all serious probably more often than necessary. Especially presently.
> Number 5: Don't shower her with attention anunsoliciteded favors. I do this to people because it just feels so good. “Maybe
> Jennifer could use these push pins, I will set them out for her. It may be coming from a good place, but it can make people
> uncomfortable. ... It is fine to do little things here and there, but just like with a man, too much is too much. (Thank
> goodness Charles and I are so well balanced in the sweetness, I can dote on him as much as I want, he dotes back and
> doesn't take me for granted)
No Charles here, but again.... ooops. How much is too much? I think I can rationalize my way out of this one, but the point is still made. Concerning most people, not a problem. Concerning others, well..... who need boundaries ??? Crap. Gotta work here.
> Number 6: This fits in the "Don't be a Debbie Downer"” category...HEY! DIANA! Don't tell your life story, past, present and
> future. It's fine, in little snippets, OVER TIME, and when asked, but you do not need to put your whole life and character on
> the table right away, it is not only unnecessary, it is socially inappropriate.
Ouch!!!!! Ok. Again, in regards to most, not a problem. As to others, I typically test safetly first and then, heaven help them if they are chosen for the life saga. Do I know why I do that? Yup. And it's developed over time. #1 childhood family. Talk, who needs that? A grunt and command work well. #2 additional family - I think when....closely associated to a non- communicative (in any fashion) person, those who need that desperately search for one who is.
It's like being on the ocean and dying of thirst kind of thing. You long for it, but know the inherent dangers. And when one is found that you want to be communicative with and she/he chooses not to return the curse.... heaven help them. My advise, apologize profusely and provide a pair of ear plugs as a friendly gesture. Or start blogging :-)
Thank goodness some folk actually spin it into a "quid pro quo" relationship. As long as the balanced and maintained, I think those relationships are .... "spiffy"
Wow. I can't even describe how I am processing this. All I can think is an expletive beginning with "s". Ughhhh.
I think it does help me remember one of the reasons why those who believe in a divine power may choose to do so. Unconditional love. When you speak, you believe someone who cares is listening. And when you are hurt, angry, upset, and whatever else, you believe someone wants to listen and ... cares, hopes and feels with you. People who believe don't seem to search for that. I think people who don't, may. I guess maybe that's why some people have pets too.
Great, give up on religion - get a pet instead. Not the message I mean to send here. Pets (sadly) die.
But in the end, all I can think is (as Grandpa always used to say) "Son of a B*#&h"...... something else to add to the "to-do" list. Like I needed more. Damn blogs !!!!!!!
Addendum - Sorry about the pet comment. But, it is nice to have something in your life to talk to that will reserve judgement, and sometimes comment. I have a hamster. It's best to talk with him when he's running on his wheel, but heck if he doesn't squeak sometimes. Mouthy. ;-). Honestly, he doesn't rank real high in the conversation department either. Seems a gift of mine to be compelled to such things.
Either that or I'm not as religious as a person with, say, a saint bernard. (Come on people, lighten up.) Another blog......
But then I came upon this one and damn if I wasn't reading a part of my own life. It actually makes me laugh with embarrassment seeing it from another.
The writer is talking about rules of socialization....
> Number 1: SAY LESS. I talk a lot. I share, for some obnoxious reason, the little thoughts that cross my mind, like "god I
> LOVE veggie sandwiches" who cares? Unless I think it is an important tidbit of information, or that it will spark an
> interesting conversation, there is no need for it.
Like I ever do that? ;-) Lightening bolt number one.
> Number 2: Behave as if you have some self-esteem. Who wants to be friends with the most insecure girl in the world?
Eh, this one not so much, but some people have a gift of making me question it.
>Number 3: Be attractive. There is a psychological thing with friendships. We want to be around people that represent us
>positively. It isn't superficial unless you only choose friends who are attractive.
Can only work with what you've got...know what I'm saying?
> Number 4: Be my funny, loveable self. I am fun, I really am, but sometimes I am just so serious! I need to crack jokes like I
> do with my pilots, instead of bringing up all of the terrible things going on in our country and the world. Heard of Debbie
> Downer? That's TOTALLY me!
Yeah. TOTAL gift for this one. Can't live life on an upper though. (then again, substance speaking, I guess you could, but...)Anyway, I tend to go to the all serious probably more often than necessary. Especially presently.
> Number 5: Don't shower her with attention anunsoliciteded favors. I do this to people because it just feels so good. “Maybe
> Jennifer could use these push pins, I will set them out for her. It may be coming from a good place, but it can make people
> uncomfortable. ... It is fine to do little things here and there, but just like with a man, too much is too much. (Thank
> goodness Charles and I are so well balanced in the sweetness, I can dote on him as much as I want, he dotes back and
> doesn't take me for granted)
No Charles here, but again.... ooops. How much is too much? I think I can rationalize my way out of this one, but the point is still made. Concerning most people, not a problem. Concerning others, well..... who need boundaries ??? Crap. Gotta work here.
> Number 6: This fits in the "Don't be a Debbie Downer"” category...HEY! DIANA! Don't tell your life story, past, present and
> future. It's fine, in little snippets, OVER TIME, and when asked, but you do not need to put your whole life and character on
> the table right away, it is not only unnecessary, it is socially inappropriate.
Ouch!!!!! Ok. Again, in regards to most, not a problem. As to others, I typically test safetly first and then, heaven help them if they are chosen for the life saga. Do I know why I do that? Yup. And it's developed over time. #1 childhood family. Talk, who needs that? A grunt and command work well. #2 additional family - I think when....closely associated to a non- communicative (in any fashion) person, those who need that desperately search for one who is.
It's like being on the ocean and dying of thirst kind of thing. You long for it, but know the inherent dangers. And when one is found that you want to be communicative with and she/he chooses not to return the curse.... heaven help them. My advise, apologize profusely and provide a pair of ear plugs as a friendly gesture. Or start blogging :-)
Thank goodness some folk actually spin it into a "quid pro quo" relationship. As long as the balanced and maintained, I think those relationships are .... "spiffy"
Wow. I can't even describe how I am processing this. All I can think is an expletive beginning with "s". Ughhhh.
I think it does help me remember one of the reasons why those who believe in a divine power may choose to do so. Unconditional love. When you speak, you believe someone who cares is listening. And when you are hurt, angry, upset, and whatever else, you believe someone wants to listen and ... cares, hopes and feels with you. People who believe don't seem to search for that. I think people who don't, may. I guess maybe that's why some people have pets too.
Great, give up on religion - get a pet instead. Not the message I mean to send here. Pets (sadly) die.
But in the end, all I can think is (as Grandpa always used to say) "Son of a B*#&h"...... something else to add to the "to-do" list. Like I needed more. Damn blogs !!!!!!!
Addendum - Sorry about the pet comment. But, it is nice to have something in your life to talk to that will reserve judgement, and sometimes comment. I have a hamster. It's best to talk with him when he's running on his wheel, but heck if he doesn't squeak sometimes. Mouthy. ;-). Honestly, he doesn't rank real high in the conversation department either. Seems a gift of mine to be compelled to such things.
Either that or I'm not as religious as a person with, say, a saint bernard. (Come on people, lighten up.) Another blog......
Friday, October 06, 2006
The power of song
There are times when music just reflects, or pretty accurately represents, how you feel at the time... don't you think?
I love instrumental music for that reason - you can infer or project what you want onto the music you hear at the time. The Romantic composers; Schumann, late Beethoven, Wagner, Strauss, and composers after; Rachmaninoff, Mahler and such are especially great for this. Although many times their music is programmatic, you can still project your own mental pictures and strong emotions onto/into the music. It takes patience as many of these composers' works tend to be...uh...."lengthy".
There are actually two songs from an earlier time that I adore for "peace" music - "Wachet auf," ruft uns die Stimme" and "Sheep May Safely Graze", both by Bach. Although the former is from a Cantata with words.... they are in German so there's no need to discover the religious translation unless strongly motivated. And there are many non vocal versions to just allow you to enjoy the counterpoint and the melody. "Adagio for Strings" by Samuel Barber ( made popular in the movie Platoon, I think) is also a very powerful, although pretty somber, piece. Great harmonies !!!
There are also many contemporary musicians that I feel provide the same service. Dave Matthews is my most favorite because his music is original and somewhat challenging/engaging to a listener ( not so repetitive, great rhythm section and sax player, has strong ties to jazz) and his lyrics are just awesome. My current favorite album of his is "Busted Stuff" ( thank you Jamie from Eddie Bauer), but he hasn't put out one I didn't like. And as for favorite songs.... too many to list. Love him !!!
Enya is another I really enjoy, but I know many consider her too strongly alternative or "out there". Whatever....
Lately though, I find myself really drawn to the song "Over My Head (Cable Car)" by The Fray. Ok, so the literal lyrics don't hold strong parallels (haven't been in a cable car since the summer) but the implied meanings currently stretch far and wide to many things. (But change the whole gender thing to). Another favorite, "Take the Long Way Home" by Supertramp is a transcendental classic. And, of course, there's "Mahna-Mahna" :-)
I get that every month or so - a song or two that is strongly represents what's in my mind or heart at the time. Although sometimes sappy, I think it's great to have.
(Oh, may son's favorites are " I Like to Move It" and "Clocks". Hmmm. Don't know if this is a good thing or bad.)
I'm always looking for some good music. If you have any suggestions, throw 'em on in.
As for now, Enya is going to help me sleep. Ahhhh.
I love instrumental music for that reason - you can infer or project what you want onto the music you hear at the time. The Romantic composers; Schumann, late Beethoven, Wagner, Strauss, and composers after; Rachmaninoff, Mahler and such are especially great for this. Although many times their music is programmatic, you can still project your own mental pictures and strong emotions onto/into the music. It takes patience as many of these composers' works tend to be...uh...."lengthy".
There are actually two songs from an earlier time that I adore for "peace" music - "Wachet auf," ruft uns die Stimme" and "Sheep May Safely Graze", both by Bach. Although the former is from a Cantata with words.... they are in German so there's no need to discover the religious translation unless strongly motivated. And there are many non vocal versions to just allow you to enjoy the counterpoint and the melody. "Adagio for Strings" by Samuel Barber ( made popular in the movie Platoon, I think) is also a very powerful, although pretty somber, piece. Great harmonies !!!
There are also many contemporary musicians that I feel provide the same service. Dave Matthews is my most favorite because his music is original and somewhat challenging/engaging to a listener ( not so repetitive, great rhythm section and sax player, has strong ties to jazz) and his lyrics are just awesome. My current favorite album of his is "Busted Stuff" ( thank you Jamie from Eddie Bauer), but he hasn't put out one I didn't like. And as for favorite songs.... too many to list. Love him !!!
Enya is another I really enjoy, but I know many consider her too strongly alternative or "out there". Whatever....
Lately though, I find myself really drawn to the song "Over My Head (Cable Car)" by The Fray. Ok, so the literal lyrics don't hold strong parallels (haven't been in a cable car since the summer) but the implied meanings currently stretch far and wide to many things. (But change the whole gender thing to). Another favorite, "Take the Long Way Home" by Supertramp is a transcendental classic. And, of course, there's "Mahna-Mahna" :-)
I get that every month or so - a song or two that is strongly represents what's in my mind or heart at the time. Although sometimes sappy, I think it's great to have.
(Oh, may son's favorites are " I Like to Move It" and "Clocks". Hmmm. Don't know if this is a good thing or bad.)
I'm always looking for some good music. If you have any suggestions, throw 'em on in.
As for now, Enya is going to help me sleep. Ahhhh.
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